Awesome!!! I’m proud of you!! BTW I love your name. It’s my maiden name.
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@SadMemeQueen Sending strength and hugs. 
You will be able to get out eventually. Are you managing to put money away from your job?
@Hazy Congratulations on 24!
@Miranda Work functions are definitely awkward. I weirdly want to go, because of my people pleasing. But then feel exactly as you do. Especially as my colleagues all research and have projects to talk about. I just talk about my kids.
@KarenKW Sending hugs. Mental health takes a long time. I have only been going to therapy for a few months, and already wonder if I could ever be ‘fixed’.
@Mno Good luck for new therapy! Edit: Glad it went well. Hope it helps.
@Cjp Woo! Nice numbers!
@anon53116147 Glad to see you 
@CATMANCAM That walk sounds lovely! 
@JDHealing Congratulations 
@JP123 Absolutely! It takes a little courage, but people can often relate.
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not really. I’m so bad with money and it feels pointless even bothering to save it
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Checking in
Day 299
Im feeling very frustrated with my work situation. I have spent the last hour trying to reframe my thoughts and change my thinking to focus on the positives. Its working a bit. Im just not happy with my placement. Im off now to get my bday shoes tho 
so im happy about that! Had some very brief thoughts of using. Just feeling overwhelmed or something. Idk. Realistically, the problems i have today are ones that i wouldve only dreamed about back in the day. Its time to pull myself out of this thinking and start choosing differently. Life for me is about choices. I choose how i want to think, i choose my actions, choose what i say, choose how I feel. Going to enjoy my outting Hope u all are enjoying ur day!
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Definitely research budgeting and get saving. You will need a deposit to leave home. If you feel you are making strides towards leaving, it would be a positive thing. Just feeling stuck and hopeless is soul sucking.
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Change that, then. You have to do it! It’s not pointless, it’s your future!!
If you have any questions or need help getting started ask away.
Seriously; it’s up to you to make it a good life. 
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i have a savings account that only my parents gave access to, which sounds great but I’m worried about them not telling me how much I actually have and it’s hard to know how much I’ve saved without actually seeing the money, but if I see it I tend to spend it
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i guess it’s just odd for me. i never expected to make it past 12, let alone 20 and now all of a sudden it’s so real that the future I have is in my hands now
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The older I get the more I see how life really does go by quickly.
I think you can open a small savings on your own and you’ll see how much confidence that will give you.
It sounds like you can’t rely on that savings they have for you. I apologize if I’m wrong. It comes down to what YOU do for you.
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it’s definitely unreliable. I’m gonna start my own savings and save what I need and then if it turns out all the money I’ve given them is still there, great. if not I have what I need
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Day 279
I was on time to work every day this week. I did overtime. 11 hr shift today. And about to do 2 more weeks of overtime bc its the holiday season.
I wish i was smoking weed and watching tv instead of dissociating and watching tv. Im writing here not bc i have anything to contribute but i am fantasizing actively about smoking. I think the biggest threats to sobriety will come after the year mark. Im not happier and im fyrther removed from the nightmare. So it looks better from that perspective. So thanks for being a space i can write and remind myself i chose to do this bc i had to.
Ive been emotionally eating, not binging but eating more, i just had a huge bowl of beans and rice and had like 4 big pastries.
I cleaned for 30 minutes last night. I hope to do some more tonight. Tomorrow i want to be up early and get some serious writing done. Maybe make mushroom stock.
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Checking in on day 13.
I haven’t posted on here in several days, but I’ve been doing really good! The last 13 days have been some of the best that I have had in a while. Looking forward to a weekend of Xmas shopping and a night away with my hubby.
Happy weekend everyone!
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Open another savings account on your own. How old are you again? Why do your parents have access to your money? Very interfering. Unless it is just a hangover from a savings account they opened for you when you were a child. If you are old enough to be earning your own money, you are old enough for your own account.
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Way to go. I have the BIGGEST smile on my face right now. What a win. 
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I’m 20. i have my own account but they have an account that they didn’t tell me existed until I was like 16 and they claim it was for college and if I ever want to save money I can give it to them and they’ll put it in that account. the one time I asked for some money from there they did give it to me but it was only like a hundred bucks. I’m just suspicious of it because my sister doesn’t have one and we definitely don’t have the income to be saving for college and when I was briefly in college they never asked about that account again
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Checking in on day 4!
Feeling very good 
I had my first good night’s sleep which was lovey, my appetite is close to 100% again, and I tackled my to-do list for the first time this week! On top of THAT I did some strength training today 
I haven’t done that since it was a requirement when I was a sophomore in high school (over a decade ago). I was quite excited to start putting my weed money into savings, but I’m thinking about putting it towards a fitness program instead considering I know next to nothing about working out and have limited equipment. I’m very proud of myself 
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I have to admit I’m in my irritable phase, but luckily the contestants on my TV screen from Survivor season 38 are taking the brunt of it (fuck Ron and Eric, their smug asses).
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Checking in on evening of day 26 sober, proud of myself went to a little get together with some friends tonight they were drinking and i drove had a good time stayed strong and sober didnt drink and now im home, usually at get togethers like that im absolutely hammered but it feels good to be home at a decent time just watching Smackdown before bed and knowing tomorrow will be another hangover free Saturday 
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That’s awesome to hear big congrats!! Did you feel tempted at all being around friends indulging or did being the DD help keep you away from the drink?
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I was feeling really terrible earlier as I was dwelling on the past I think. Decided to be mindful and more present. I have a family get together tomorrow that I’m really looking forward to. Decided to bake a dessert for it this evening so I’m not rushing tomorrow. Took my sweet pup out for a nice stroll, did some paint by numbers and listened to music to help elevate my mood. Just winding down now watching White Lotus on HBO and have to say feeling much better than I was earlier. I feel like I’m in a constant battle with myself and my own thoughts and emotions but it is getting easier to tune them out and just do what I know I have to do instead of allowing myself to wallow in the them when I feel triggered.
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