I am not a patriot if this can be used in Germany. But I really like living here. I cannot imagine living somewhere else forever. This sounds maybe crazy, I know. And I complain a lot. But from my experiences in France: everybody is complaining everywhere 
And I also think that idiots are equally distributed all over the world.
Of cause 
I also have my depression on board.
And my addictive mind.
And the body image eating thing.
I could almost cry right now.
Had a nice breakfast, 10.000 steps to the beach and back and 3 swims of 20 - 30 minutes each.
I take care.
I have a lot of luck to be here.
But i am sad and my mind is punishing me to not be good enough and not be worth it.
I know it can be okay again in 2 hours.
Just made a coffee and will try to note some counter thoughts.
Want to visit the next smaller town later.
Hope I will do.
I am sorry you are feeling low right now. I was a bit thinking about your adventure holiday alone. Sounds amazing and can be overwhelming as well. But you have us here, 24/7. No feeling lasts forever. 
Thank you!
You are my safe space 
Day 917 clean and sober. Late check in but I’m okish. Accepting the fact that being sad is a natural reaction to sad things. I hope everyone is having a great day today, love you guys 
Morning Check in
Day 306
Feeling pretty good today! A bit tired. I barely was able to get up on time for my workout. I managed to get myself out of bed by 545am and started my workout at 6am. Feeling proud of myself for completing 5 days in a row of good quality workouts!
Yesterday wasnt good for my eating. Huge ups n downs. Initally i went into the kitchen for food due to being emotionally upset. Realized i was wanting to eat out of emotion, told myself that wasnt the right reason to eat, and didnt follow thru. Yay me!!! But then, I WAY overate at supper and desert 
ugh. I love my meat and we were having steak so ya that didnt go well lol Beat myself up a little bit over it but didnt “sink” into my negative thoughts. In fact it was a motivating factor in working out this morning.
Recovery wise im okay. Looking wayyyy too far ahead at my 1 year coming up in Feb lmao have mixed feelings about it i think. Nervousness and excitement.
Plans for the day are cleaning, working on my hobbies, and trying to relax. Not much else. Have an addiction free day everyone!
Doing fine and dandy!!! Feeling wonderful for no apparent reason 
Really stressed today.
13 hour day at work.
My mother broke her back and i got a call about it at work.
My sister wants me to go to Florida with her, but i cant afford to go. And if i did, what would I do with my kids??
Ugh
Awe girl im sorry ur day has been stressful. Im hoping work goes well, even tho thats a crazy long shift praying ur mom is okay too. Hope she recovers quixkly. Sending hugs!!
Just checking in
Day 42 sober from substances
Life is going ok
Wish I had a job
The place I put a application in said they are waiting till mid January to higher anyone so my plan is to wait
Your all amazing
I’m greatful for you all
After a stressful day - actually, it wasn’t that stressful, it’s just that I had to rush through the day - I was sooo hoping to go to the chiropractor. It turned out that his assistant made a mistake, so the appointment had to be postponed.
BUT, there was one great thing that made my day: my son’s classmate, a little girl who comes from a very large family and, as expected, a family with practically no means at all, will be coming to my place a couple of times a week so I can help her with her English (mine is not good either, but it’s ok for their level). She’s a sweet girl and a very bright one, but obviously has no one at home who could help her. Her mother called me today, after I said that I would be delighted to be of some help and get to know her daughter better and perhaps do some exercises etc. when it comes to a couple of other subjects.
So, yaaay! 
Checking in day 103! Work has been pretty wild yesterday and so far today, so pretty tired. But I’m off this weekend! Happy sober Friday
147 days free from alcohol
128 days free from toxic relationships
38 days imperfect regular eating
Trigger warning - cravings and depression
I am not okay. Just want to drink hardly and blow my mind and body out!
Having panda eyes second time today,
trip to the city was much too much lights,
noise and people!
Started crying in the bus back in village under my mask.
I am taking care for my mental health and relapsing prophylaxis.
I moved
I ate
I slept and napped
I made an effort the last month’s since summer.
I was on stationary therapy in spring for 6 weeks, I have group therapy, doing Yoga and sports.
And this fucking monster is still there.
222, checking in.
I am so sorry you were feeling overwhelmed! I hope you can find some time to get away and enjoy yourself 
you deserve all the happiness in the world
A week! It’s very little but today I feel exultant
@Scorpn Oh no, and I know you have so much on ur plate already! Is your mum in the hospital?
@Juli1 Sending strength! I understand how frustrating it is to be doing all you can, but you still feel bad. But drinking would absolutely make it worse.
Evening Check In
Day 306
Day was okay. But yet again i started to feel irritable and cranky and negative. Im sooooooo tired of feeling this way in the evenings. Like why?! I didnt even do much today to say that i was exhausted from everything. Its like a bad habit that i start feeling irritable in the afternoons and then that carries over into the evening where im cranky to those i love.
I decided to pray about it. I then put on a worship song and just sang and tried to remember what kind of person i want to be and to be grateful. Took some time to deep breathe. Im feeling a bit better now. I think once i get some me time again (starting monday when my son goes back to school) that will help. I love my son to pieces. It can just be alot of work some days with his medical stuff etc. I tend to burnout nightly when I dont get me time.
Right now just waiting for hubby to get home. Then supper. And bed for our boy. Hopefully I get a good rest too. I work at the hospital this weekend so hope all goes well there.
Hope everyone has a good night!
Day 14.
Got back into the gym today. Cooked meals for the next 7 days and organized all my vitamins, minerals, supps, herbs etc. doing self care tonight and taking it easy. Tomorrow is half a month and my resolve to not drink has never been stronger. Even my addict brain has stood no chance. Feeling better every day.
