Today is Day 600 for me. 600 days ago I couldn’t imagine not drinking for 6 days, let alone 600.
I wrapped up my final 9th step a couple of days ago with my fiancé who witnessed the most of anyone of my addiction and downfall. She was the one I lied to and deceived the most so I could continue doing what I wanted to do, which was drink. Finding the courage do to that 9th step with her felt so hard. Hearing some of the things that I said to her in my blackouts I think will forever haunt me. I know making the amends is what we both need in the long term going forward, but damn that was a tough step to do with her and everybody else.
@Etre Welcome to the party! @Juli1 Don’t be too hard on yourself; this didn’t turn into a full blown bender. You’re back on the right track among friends.
Day 7
Had such a boring day. Watching podcasts and other stuff on YouTube and playing games on my phone. Joe brought me some apple pie, which was excellent. Gotta start handling business tomorrow (if the buses are running). Since my apartment is in no danger, I have to look for work. I feel sometimes like I’m unemployable. I had 3 jobs in 2022. On paper, I don’t look too good.
I’m just going to leave it up to HP. After all, I could’ve lost my place but didn’t.
Till next time, peace!
Second check in day 569. I spent a lovely (kinda rainy) New Year’s Day with family in Ocean Beach California. So many bleary-eyed hungover people around. Happy to have been completely sober for all of 2022 start to finish, and celebrated with some Hodad’s. Let’s do it for 2023!
No snow here rn, but a friend made me think of this trip and hike. April 2017, just outside Yellowstone NP. We’re all on our own roads but we’re in this together as we have a common purpose. X @SadMemeQueen Big congrats on 10 months!
#Day1567🚶♀️
Started the day with a walk in the dark. It felt sooo good! Like I could breath deeper when outside. I think it was just what I needed. Worked to much lately and need to reset. Walking is my reset. Getting out of my head and focus on nature
It was a big part of my recovery. It still is. Walking and chocolat is my plan B.
Plan B because plan A (alcohol) wasn’t working anymore. So the first 3 months of my recovery I walked a lot to overcome my cravings. And because of the sweet tooth wich I had, I ate loads of chocolat too.
The chocolat thing has balanced out but the walking is a part of my life now.
Alfter months of having an injury and less walking it’s good to be back on track!
And some extra for:
Great numbers @Rebhan12
And congratulations are in order for you as well @SadMemeQueen, 10 months
3 years is such a nice milestone @Its_me_Stella, did you something special to celebrate?
Glad you are still here @Juli1 , determination is a good start for all of us.
Went to pil for a party type thing. Sister-in-law families were there too. I felt really sensitive and teary at first. Husband noticed and kept trying to involve me in the conversation. In the end, laugther was had at my husband’s quite frankly foul purple and yellow sweat pants that he wore (when he bought them for about three dollars he swore they were for pajamas only), and that changed my mood.
Today is also second day of normal eating.
Day 934 clean and sober today. I have a sense of hope that I can create a happy and fulfilling life if I put myself and my happiness first. To long have I lived my life to make others happy at the expense of my own happiness and this year (one day at a time) I am going to live a different way. I hope everyone has a wonderful day today, love you guys
Day 2 again for me. I struggled when I got back from vacation but starting over with the new year. Got through yesterday without any cravings, but didn’t feel well. Depression and anxiety are already bad today. I’m going to call a couple intensive outpatient programs today that work with dual diagnosis (addiction plus mental health). My addictive voice keeps telling me I’m not that bad to need such a program, but I know I do. I can’t do this on my own with the depression as bad as it is. I’ve been hospitalized for the depression in the past and trying to avoid that again. But it was necessary at the time and saved my life. Things aren’t as bad as they were back then but I can see them heading in that direction if I don’t do something now. Just trying to survive one day at a time.
