Checking in daily to maintain focus #51

Continuing the discussion from Checking in daily to maintain focus #50 - #2532 by Mno.

Previous discussions:

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@Misokatsu that looked really yummy!!

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Thank you @siand! Those are all great tools. I love the 54321, haven’t come across that yet, so thanks again!!! Have a great day!

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Day 930 clean and sober today. Meh…

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Hey all, checking in on day 928. I hope everybody has a good one!

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Hi Robbie,

What exactly is “meh”? :wink:

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@Hayleylujah congrats on 200 days :tada:
@Bones_80 get well soon :pray:t2::blue_heart:
@SadMemeQueen congrats on your 300+ days :tada: sending strength as you navigate flashbacks :mending_heart:
@2JTravNZ congrats on triple digits :100: :tada:
@Will3 congrats on 950 days :tada:
@IamThechange sending strength :pray:t2::blue_heart:
@Luna2022 congrats on double digits :tada:

870 days no alcohol.
335 days no cocaine.

Apologies, I was completely out of it when trying to check in last night, I was basically sleep-walking, trying to push myself to do my evening routine, but I kept waking up in the strangest of places doing the strangest things, and then I couldn’t keep myself awake properly until 10am, I think it might be from the bingeing, which I have struggled with since Boxing Day. So I’m checking in for yesterday.

Had a response from the therapist I reached out to, he doesn’t have any space until late '23, but he recommended a colleague he works closely with, so I checked the other therapists website out and it seems he has experience in all the areas I struggle or have struggled with, so should be a good fit, I reached out to him and we have an initial consultation booked for the 10th January :crossed_fingers:t2: I really hope it goes well.

Will hopefully check in again later on for today.

:blue_heart:

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My day is already off to a bad start. My job confirmed that I can’t come back. And I have a lot of running around to do trying to save my housing assistance.
I’ll do a proper check in as soon as I can, for now I have to figure out my next move.
Serious urge to drink now. :confused:

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Checking in on day 496. Been a rough week at work. Need to get back to seeing my counselor on a regular basis as I haven’t been in months and months and the new job is taking a mental toll for sure. But have a few days off coming up so definitely catching up on some rest. Hope everyone is doing well and stay safe.

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Don’t drink! Play the tape through - you would only end up losing money and time, and you’d still have to do all that running around just with a hangover.

Sorry to hear about the job that really sucks. But having a clear head gives you a much better chance of finding the solutions you need. Sending all the good vibes your way.

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Days
80 substance free
209 self harm free
43 no restricting

Checking in at the beginning of my day. I am bringing a friend a gift. Then I’ll go to work. I hope everyone will have a great day :heart:

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Day 89
My period is kicking in oof guys, migraine and cramps, all the good stuff, I “love” it. But my mood is still good.
Since days I’m thinking about getting a kettlebell to bring my workout to another level. I found a shop not far away and today was the day, even though I still felt shitty, I had to go there to buy a kettlebell.
I hope that tomorrow the worst is over and I can start working out with that Baby :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
That’s all for now :relaxed:
I hope you’re having a beautiful sober day, stay strong :kissing_heart::muscle:

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Checking in Day 11 AF

@CATMANCAM thank you. I hope things go well for you with your new therapist. :pray::heart:

Today is my grandmother’s funeral. I struggle with dealing with my own emotions all the time, and adding those from the people around me, seem to put me in overload. I’ve had thoughts the past few days of escaping and drowning them, and fighting them off as best as I can.

2022 has been the hardest year of my life, and I am so ready for it to end. I’ve had issues at work with a new boss, who does not like me. I think our personalities are just polar opposite’s, and it’s hard for us to communicate effectively. I had issues with the foundation of my house, costing me $13,000 to fix.

Then two weeks later my hot water heater busted in my kitchen flooding the house. It took 4 weeks for them to just dry it out with equipment. Then it was tested and asbestos, was found in the floor installation, which took another week of an entire hazmat crew to come seal off the house and to remove it. There was literally a decontamination shower in my living room and everything sealed off. It looked like something in a movie. It was near the end of March before any work could even be done, which forced me out of my home the whole time, due to no hot water.

Then I caught Covid. After that I started dating a guy, and my life really went to shit. It was all great in the beginning until he moved in. It wasn’t long after that things changed. I knew something was off but couldn’t figure out what. Arguments were not normal arguments. He became verbally and physically abusive. I tried to break it off and then he would threaten suicide. I ended up finding myself in a cycle of hell and torment. I had hoped once I filed a police report, but did not press charges, he would stop. He finally was arrested for physically hurting his ex wife, so I took that opportunity as a way out. I filed for a notice to quit to have him evicted while in jail, since he never paid a dime towards anything. Three days later he bonded out and walked straight to my home and assaulted me again. I called the police and he has now been in jail the past 3 months. He is scheduled for release, if he pleads guilty on Jan 20 & I am so afraid of what may happen when he is.

My 18 year old daughter also got pregnant this year and is scheduled to be induced New Years Eve. My Grandmother passed away on Xmas Eve. And there’s more, but that’s just the headliners. I don’t know what kind of bad karma I have reaped this year, but damn I should be in the negative at this point.

I’m sorry for the long post, but it does feel good to get all this off my chest, because I keep to myself and just go to work and home, then repeat. I can feel myself slipping again, but I know drinking won’t help. Yet that does not stop the brain from talking you into it, telling yourself just one night. Just escape for one night. You don’t drink everyday, you just drink way too much when you do. I know with these thoughts I am on a slippery slope again, and I’m going to fight it as best as I can. The anxiety of Jan 20, is overpowering all my emotions. I’m trying to find the happiness of meeting my granddaughter in a couple days to balance it out, but it’s hard when you don’t know what kind of hell awaits you from an evil person with no regard for anyones feelings or safety.

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Luna, that’s a helluva year, but 2023 could be a great year. I’ve been sober for almost two years. They have been fantastic even with breast cancer and treatment. I had a great support system thru AA and The Luckiest Club and here. I’m so rooting for you. Wishing your daughter a very easy delivery.

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That’s a lot to go through. I hope 2023 is better to you :heart:

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Checking in with 95 days sober!!

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Checking in. Day 83

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@Luna2022 That’s some serious stuff to face. 2023 has to improve your lot. Take care :unicorn:

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Day 0,5 - free from alcohol
Day 141 - free from toxic relationships
Day 51 - imperfect regular eating

On my way to the beach I put the leftover wine bottle into an altar. I am atheist, but it fits anyway. My body is tired, didn’t have good sleep, woke up at 3 am totally shocked I was drunken.

Reaching out for peace and calmness.

Will enjoy sun and sea for the rest of my holiday… Getting back, I definitely need to go back to rituals in meditating, Yoga and writing again. Didn’t found the right place in this airbnb. Will recommend the owner to place a guest yoga mat in here.

So that’s it, I am back.
I underestimated my addiction.
Need to add coping techniques for relaxed times, holidays and things like seasons changing and birthday.

Love

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Wishing u all the best mark in being able to save ur housing situation. Im so sorry about ur job. I was really hoping that they would give u another chance. Sending positive thoughts ur way :pray:

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