Day 10, it’s been a good day. Went to church, enjoyed being around friends and family. Not much happened today really. Been thinking more and more about my past and my reactions to some things. Problem is is that I don’t remember much about being a kid so I can’t point towards any particular event. All I’ve got are balls emotion that occasionally flare up and cause issues. Still trying to figure it out but it’s irritating
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I accidently fell on this app, i have been drinking from thé past 29 years, when i realise today my entire younger age i was drunk and did not enjoy them and time flew by. Lost a lot of Good opportunities that life gave me,but as they say nothing is lost as long we are alive,
Yesterday i went twice shopping, Saw my favorite beer on the shelf, i looked at her she was was looking back at me. But i did not have the same feeling for her like i had 3 weeks back 
because i realise she was a bad partner for me:smile:.
Hope this stays in my mind always.
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Evening Check In
Day 343 substance free
Day 10 Binge free
Evening has been alot better than the day was. I do feel mentally drained but nothing a good rest wont fix. Sorry for the “verbal diarrhea” earlier. I was sooo beyond drained and overwhelmed and just exhausted. I DO think that i need to consider a career change but without the money for another education, i dont know how i can do this. Ill figure it out. I always do 
I feel like i MAY have eaten my emotions today but i dont think it was me binge eating. So i havent reset my timer for that. I did have an urge to use drugs also but as always, dealt with that thought. I am going full force back into healthy eating and exercise this week. I always feel better when i take good care of myself 
Had a few thoughts of just distancing myself from TS and from people in general. Silly thought i know 
Some days i get like that where i just dont wanna interact with anybody. But i always think that this is my addiction trying to take me away from my supports and isolate me. So no chance of that happening. Hope u all have a great rest! Hugs
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Could you make your baking cakes and things more of a full time operation? They always look so beautiful! You have a real talent! And also with your dreamcatchers. I know things are super stressful at times. And i just hope that you are able to get to a place where you are as happy with your career as you are in your sobriety. Sending lots of love and hugs your way 
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Drinking is a habits , when drunk we feel we are superman, i have a mild stuttering problem, when i used to drink i used to speak fluently and felt great in the begning.
But as time passed bye the alcohol took control of my life, my brain was updated by my action of drinking beers daily, i myself had created a new and dangerious habit for me .
“Habits is like a love relationship, easy to get in but hard to come out from it”.
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Day 12, And up at 4.30 am as i have had enough sleep so coffee and workout before getting my child up and out the door for his work experience.
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Thank you for ur response! I appreciate that. I could maybe try to work as a cake decorator in a store! I find that making dreamcatchers and baking on my own doesnt give me stable income. Its very touch and go. Some seasons are full of orders and some arent (like now). But i have wanted to go back and complete my pharmacy technician course (i failed my practicum bcuz i quit it due to being around narcotics… i didnt want to steal them and get in shit). Or id like to work as a secretary of a clinic in the hospital. Those would be good!
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Whishing you all the best, keep going,.
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I’m thinking of you♥️
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Hope you find him soon.
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Omg!!! I hope hes okay!!! Im so sorry this is happening. Im lraying for his return safely
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Day 28
Last 3 days have been nothing, didn’t even go for a walk around the block. Partly bcz of the weather, but mostly I’m in a depressive funk and just really demotivated. This isn’t good, because that’s when I start drinking again. But I’m going to climb into bed and come up with a plan for a better tomorrow.
Peace! 
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#Day 1587 
I’m sad. My cat is still gone.
Yesterday we looked for him, handed out information in the neighbourhood and put posters in some lamppost.
Maybe I sound hysteric, but this little guy is so special to me. I got him from the shelter where I vollunteered 7 years ago. It was a very sick straycat. But beside his pain he was still such a soft soul 
I’m so worried because my gut feeling says he’s gone for good.
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You don’t sound hysteric. I know what it’s like and once had a cat going missing for one week and she came back so I will keep thinking positive thoughts for you
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2 weeks down. Feeling good. Another Monday, nothing more than work planned.
Have good weeks all.
@SoberWalker i hope you cat comes home soon
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He’s a handsome boy and I hope he’ll be home soon. Big hugs for you and big hopes for him to soon be home. I know you’ve done everything possible. If you haven’t put something you’ve worn outside your door. Fingers crossed. I’m so sorry he’s not inside with you. 
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Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@Butterflymoonwoman And you said my job is too tough for you? Especially compared with what you do now? I think you’d flourish in it. Although cake and dreamcatcher making doesn’t sound half bad either, or any other thing you’d like to do. We have to find some joy in what we do for a living. It’s too unhealthy otherwise.
@SoberWalker So sorry. More positive thoughts and vibes your way friend. 
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I’d happily buy a couple of dreamcatchers you’ve made. Me and my daughter love them 
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I don’t think a cake would survive the post 
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