Closing in on the six months mark, and noticing some recurring thoughts about drinking–not that I want to drink, thoughts about when I did drink that drive shame and self-loathing and sadness and hopelessness. That makes it sound more dire than it really is, actually. It’s more that the mental health issues I have tend to manifest in these sort of obsessive thoughts that drive anxiety/depression spirals that contribute to relapses. I wanted to put this somewhere, to recognize it and call it out and jump the curb on before I go any farther down this road and I figured this was a good enough place to do it. The weather is warming and my last epic relapse was the past summer, so as I begin to think with hope of all the fun spring and summer activities it’s reminding me of all the terrible terrible choices I made and making me feel kind of shitty.
Happy Friday! Have an awesome weekend my friends.
Checking in day 180! According to the app there’s still a few days til my 6 months, but almost there 
I’m dog sitting for a friend so had to get up and move early today after a late night of work, so feeling sleepy today. The group I ran at work yesterday went well and I feel really good about it. Got asked to do a little presentation on Monday morning, and I appreciate being seen for these opportunities.
Going to trudge myself to the gym in a bit, have a client for my part time job, then work 12 hours. Not the ideal Friday but im off all weekend. Hope you all have a fantastic sober Friday!
Because I have a lot of other things to do 
I know… I have to take it serious.
Further pressure because I know I am in danger, but my addictive mind tells me I can do it without this meeting thing.
Great place to put this Jenny.
I’m a firm believer in milestone malady. It didn’t make me want to drink either. But I’d get depressed around just before 6 months, 9 months; And that 300 day mark really fucked with my head even though I knew it was milestone malady. That addictive brain is fighting back. I just kept going easy on myself. As long as I hit the pillow sober it was a great successful day. Even if I didn’t get anything done besides walking my dogs and feeding the pets.
Keep up the great work.
We got your back.
Welcome back Sundown.
I remember seeing this post yesterday.
Thought I’d copy it for ya.
Sometimes in my recovery it helps just to know I’m not alone.
Hope to see you around.
119 no alcohol
13 no weed no THC pen
Very happy I’m sober today
I had a great day working
I learned how to unload the truck and put out about 55 or 60boxes in 2 hours which is spot on where I need to be
Struggling! Just want to drink! I’ve been sober this time for 3months and 2 days…I will keep going but I just want to cry and drink
Good job checking in and telling on yourself. Make the decision not to use today.
Day 2
I could sleep all day!
Yesterday I had 2 sport sessions…
will head to the pool tonight again as it’s closed Saturday and Sunday due to an event.
So i will do some home workout and yoga on weekend.
I will just go on napping, until I go to my swim…
And lay down afterwards again.
I am taking my vitamin b complex and a supplement for the gut microbiom.
Magnesium and vitamin d of cause.
Eating healthy, drinking enough.
The symptom gets worse with every relaps.
Thank you! It does help knowing I’m not alone
Ha, I guess we always fear the unknown? Dating used to stress me out too, but just going out for coffee to see if there’s any chemistry is pretty low-key, online dating is pretty non-commital by nature.
I don’t really know what to expect at AA and if I’m ready to go back to my drinking days all the time, the memories are painful … I also fear talking in front of many people and don’t do well with fitting into a group as I take some time to open up. I prefer one on one … like a date I’m glad you feel supported, I might gather up the courage soon!
Day 153
Had a wonderful day, beautiful weather and a good time with all of my coworkers. We’re finally all healthy again
But since I’m at home all I do is laying on my couch and I can’t move. It’s like I’m frozen.
My date with the nice guy I met online is planned for tomorrow 5pm and I could sh*t myself.
I don’t know if this is funny or sad tbh.
I’m 42 years old, I finally feel ready to meet someone. And I feel the strongest fear I’ve ever felt. Everything that ever went wrong with my relationships is spiraling in my head and I can’t stop it. One part of me wants to cancel, the other part wants to at least try it.
Oh my 
I hope you’re having a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
Checking in
Day 383
Day started out rough. I felt so very emotionally and mentally drained that i was very irritable and discontent. I got my son on the bus to school. First thing i did when i walked in thru my doors was sit down and pray. Asking for guidance in my day. I reminded myself that the kind of day I will have is directly dependant on my state of mind. I chose then and there to slow down, be gentle with myself, and to turn my thinking and acting over to God. So then i went grocery shopping. All was well. Even let a lady cut in front of me to scan her items (she only had 2 and i had a wagon full of groceries). I came home and tried a new healthy high protein snack recipe. Super good!!! Then listened to a quick 3 min meditation while having a lavender scented bath. I really feel like im respecting myself and showing myself love. I often will get mad at myself for not being able to get done what i need to do in a day. Then theres the awful internal dialogue and moodiness that comes along with it. Im sooo grateful for my HP’s guidance today and my ability to be still and listen to what my HP is telling me. The coping skills i have learned in just over a year of being clean and sober, astounds me. Im grateful for all of u showing me the way! There is just soooo much calmness and love and peace in being able to just sloooow down, breathe, and get out of my own way.
Feeling peaceful 
Nah, don’t cancel. He’s probably nervous too. Just go be yourself. You might end up having a great time. If you skip it cause of fear, you’re always gonna wonder what if.
Try not to do this on the date. Probably a deal breaker. 
I’m already running to the toilet constantly today 
Nothing will be left tomorrow hahahaha
Try to remember it’s just another human and we’re all just doing our best. Go for as long as you’re comfortable. You will be fine! 
@Scorpn sending strength 
congrats on 60 days SH free
@Alycia feel better soon congrats on 11 months happy birthday to your son 
@Kareness happy birthday
@liminal.rehab welcome 
congrats on your days so far
@Katy congrats on double digits
@Sundown8 welcome back
@Sabrina80 I hope the date goes well 
935 days no alcohol.
400 days no cocaine.
22 days no vape.
Today I have been out doing various things to help my dad and his wife. He is still in severe pain, but has finally spoken to a doctor, he’s now waiting up to 8hrs for an ambulance to go to the hospital for an xray. I am very worried about him but I’m relieved he’s finally going to the hospital. It has been 11 days since he was injured and he hasn’t been getting any better. I think he was too scared about how serious it was but didn’t want to admit it.
I’ve not been feeling good since my bad therapy session on Tuesday. It’s set me off with bad binges. I don’t really want to carry on with it, I might see how next week’s session goes and then make a decision. I definitely don’t feel like it’s a good fit or the right style of ‘therapy’, I wouldn’t even call it therapy at all, I don’t get a chance to talk!
I’ve still managed to do my meditations and both walks. Going to meditate some more now before the program I’m watching starts in an hour.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
@Butterflymoonwoman Praying for you! Your sober time and transparency are encouragements to me and others!
Give it a try girl!
Of cause give it a try…
Best timing for a first date is 60 minutes only.
Ok… I sound like a professional…
But this is a fact based on scientific research!
Greetings, good old aunty “chaos relationships” 
You will have a good time Sabrina…
And if not, come here and we can make some jokes about it! 
