Iām happy to be on this ride!
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Checking in w you guyz from Wa St Womens Correction Center sober as a gopher supporting my bb doing the damn thing too
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These pictures are perfect! How adorable!
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@Noshame good luck with getting your hours back 
and congrats on 2+ weeks no weed 
@SoberWalker omg she looks so happy, and belly strokes! -She must trust you already 
Maybe for the list, Red/Rood. The pain is called Plantar Fasciitis, itās the ligaments and tendons in my heel, there is nothing more the podiatrist can do, I even paid privately to have shockwave treatment and that didnāt help. I need to slow down and take my time, my trainers are good and I have gel heel pads and orthotic insoles inside them, itās so frustrating though, and very painful!
@Amy30 congrats on 50 days
@MooseTracks congrats on 6 months
@Nowenbrace congrats on 3 weeks
@residentevil sending strength 
937 days no alcohol.
402 days no cocaine.
24 days no vape.
Canāt make myself read, but I want to.
Shower routine slipping.
Feet in pain.
Mood low.
Have managed my meditations and walks, so thatās something.
I hope youāve all had wonderful sober weekends. 
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We are still changing her name and trying how the names sound. Whe are making it too damn difficult 
Our latest is Wickie, from an old animation serie I used to watch when I was little: āWickie de vikingā. He was a ginger as well.
I was hoping there was something else you could do about your feet problem, but sounds like you did all you could and more. Hope you can find enough time to rest between the walks 
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High winds took out trees that fell on power lines. Over 180,000 homes still without power. Going on 48 hours soon. Still no idea when we will get power back on. Thankfully the weather has not been badā¦ā¦ Iām still sober. 
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And rightly so! Congrats Seb! 
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About to go on a full rant. Sorry in advance. I just got triggered really bad and feel like I need an outlet to get my thoughts together and I canāt talk to my family about it.
So when I relapsed and drank last sat before surgery, I made the choice to open communication from the jail with my ex. I never sent a message but received about 4 and a couple calls that I did not answer. Thankfully I was sober before he ever communicated back. My stupid thinking was that itās been 5 months absolutely no contact, maybe his mental state has improved and we can come to an agreement about what to do with his shit that I have legally been stuck with since Sept of last year. The judge stated at the hearing that if things calmed down and we decided to contact civilly, that we could. I figured I would just leave the communication open and see how he reacts and responds. The first few were ok and asked who it was since I only entered initials. He called a couple times and sent some asking how are you doing. I was actually thinking maybe just maybe we can get to an agreement finally. But I wanted to wait a little longer before responding. Well the last one came in saying something about he could strangle me for real. I donāt know if he knew it was me or not. I know he suspected, because he tried to call a couple times after the channel was open. I immediately deleted the account and said to hell with that. He still canāt control himself.
Well, apparently with the little information I entered on the account which was my first and last initials and only two numbers of my street address and no address at all, the jail knew it was me and a cop just left my house.
The jail intercepted the message and they are pressing charges against him for it. They sent a deputy to my home to inform me they are listing me as the victim. The cop who came is one of the ones who previously arrested him here on cdv. I donāt know why I am angry at myself. I opened the damn account. I feel angry that I donāt get a say in it either. I need him out to get his shit and not sit there a minimum another 4 fucking months. Iām angry that throwing another charge at him with my name on it puts me at even greater risk of retaliation when he is released. Thereās going to be nobody from the jail to protect me from that. Only me. Then Iām angry that I realized I wasnāt angry about the message. Did he know it was me. Or not? What he did was wrong I get that, but I would hope he wouldnāt be so dumb to say what he said if he knew it was me. He knows they monitor the communications. I warned him of that back in October when the victims advocate told me about the messages and calls she read and heard from him to me. And yes I couldāve thrown about 6 violations of the protection order of where he still attempted calling me from the jail the past several months but I chose not to. I think the victim should have some say in what happens, since in the end it is our ass on the line.
I donāt know. Iām just angry. If I hadnāt have drank I donāt think I would have convinced myself opening the channel would be okay to see if we can finalize this and both of us move on. I canāt do that when Half my house and yard is full of his shit and I see it every damn day. Iām angry I saw red flags in the relationship and waited to damn long to get out.
Iām just a mix of emotions. Now Iām feeling the fear all over again. The anxiety is making my whole body shake. That now I just had a hand in making things even fucking worse for myself. I donāt know what to do. Thereās nothing I can do. But sit here. And wait. And wait. And wait. I know he needs to be locked up and probably mentally treated, but I just want the final step to be over. Him released. And me dealing with the aftermath, so that at some point this can be over and I can move on with my life. I donāt know how that will end, hopefully with me alive, but what I canāt do is sit here and add more months of anticipation, thoughts, and fear creep into my mental state. Itās time for the series finale. I need that. In whatever form it takes.
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Thank you Delia for this helpful comparison and inspiration to think aboutā¦ 
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Day 57. Just dropped my sister at the airport. We had such a good weekend. The weather was beautiful so we went for a couple walks. Ate good food. Just hung out and relaxed.
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Well done Matt, keep it up , good attitude soon it will be routine and youāll be among friends 
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Pretty nice weekend overall. Got the latest edition to the home gym yesterday
Saw a great hockey game with my oldest last night
Freakin awesome seats
Oh and its 4 years ago today i took control of my life and stopped drinking.
Thanks to all yāall for being you.
#StayStrong #StaySober #OneLove
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Wonderful tribute to sobriety! Great job on 4 years!
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Day 11 of 365
Youtube free: day 1 of 365
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Not gonna lie. My family triggered me tonight. They are all very successful and i found myself comparing myself, feeling less than, and have been in a sullen mood. Im an addict who doesnt have enough money or travels. (Poor me) I practiced gratitude and distraction. I just feel off. A few cravings and just generally uncomfortable. Every day cant be a 10 outta 10. Iāll lay low, say some prayers, and hope for a better day tommorow.
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Wow!!! Incredible post! Congratulations on 4 whole years! 
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I hope tomorrow is better 
I like that, every day canāt be 10/10.
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Congratulations on an amazing 4 years Kdog.
Good looking chip you got there. Weāll done sir.
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Way to get back to it Seb
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