Checking in daily to maintain focus #53

Checking in
Confused and lost. Overwhelmed thinking about all i need to do still. But awake. Ive smiled ive laughed and Ive even been social already today. Which is goud for me.

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Still in the train. Got a regular seat after spending an hour on the floor. It was quite interesting so far. As the train is really full there are a lot of people talking, on the phone or in person. Now sitting next to some students talking about creating content of their posts. Reminded me how I was struggling 23 years ago with talking to someone over ICQ (I think thatā€™s what it was called) and getting the first excercises via email :grimacing: and struggling printing them and how some years before we had first router with a loooooong cable through the flat and the noise it made and the time it took to load a page. How patient have I been? I must have been patient.

I am grateful to be sober.

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Hello sorry youā€™re feeling this way but you are definitely not alone. The past few months Iā€™ve been in a mental hole myself. Iā€™m starting to learn right now is that I need to learn how to except things for how they are, or how they are happening. For myself I start to read the literature from the 12 step program Iā€™m in, for others here they have all kinds of different ways that I hope some share to maybe help you find what works for you. I have so much I need to take care of that I have neglected in my life I didnā€™t even know where to start. So far Iā€™ve gotten my car goin, registration, insurance, next my license. Iā€™ve got tax fraud issues coming my way, and a son whoā€™s grandmother wants me out of the picture period. But I just keep on doing the right thing thatā€™s all I can do. I believe in my heart if I just stay clean and donā€™t give in things will fall into place the way they are supposed to. I donā€™t always like the way it turns out but life isnā€™t always easy. Just take care of one thing at a time and donā€™t overwhelm yourself. Be kind to yourself most importantly. You just stay the course and keep doing the right thing everything else will follow in time. Take care :pray:

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This here, I really needed to hear this today. Thank you :purple_heart::hugs: good to see you too.

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Love ya twizz Good to see you too. Be good to you :hugs: you got this :pray:

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129 days is huge congratulations :fireworks:

We all sometimes just need to come here for encouragement and support. We just sometimes canā€™t give back of we need a hand to hold ourselves. Thatā€™s why itā€™s so good here because there are so many of us to lean on and hold eachother up.
Take the support :slightly_smiling_face: we are here for you, we understand the struggle, we know we canā€™t give back all of the time.
Your doing amazing in so proud of you :star:

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day 189

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary.

We have flown to the north island hit up a lazy beach side town to chill, such a good vibe, eaten the best burritos of my damn life rocked out to some good live music and come home, the place had such an atmosphere i wanted to stay but i could feel the old me getting to close to wanting to sneak in a drink

So we ended up coming to relax in the hot tub instead. After alot travel it was awesome.

I feel so fortunate to be able to do things like this with life now rather than ā€œpissing money awayā€ these days.

@Jftself good to see you brother!!

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Happy anniversary

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40d474dcb28207446b99c10938477f20ca778037e2808832f6dfd67e98eeffed.0
It sounds like a perfect day!

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Thatā€™s right Travis happy for you brother. Congratulations, and happy anniversary man. Glad you left when you thought you should thatā€™s wassup man. So happy for you man :hugs: :tada:

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Been keeping myself busy, I find myself beating myself up about my relapse. Today makes day 5. Went to Ikea to replace a lamp I broke. settling in for the evening, watching a movie. Positive vibes, positive thoughts.

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Day 330 here.
I had a bit of a mood and energy slump after dinner, and not really sure why. I had been looking forward to the food but it wasnā€™t as nice as I had hoped for, or maybe my appetite was a bit off. Anyway, I got my headphones on and listened to an album I really like (The Waeve) and tidied the kitchen and did the dishes. Iā€™m feeling much better.
One of the things Iā€™m a bit irritated by is that I had an hour less of doing nothing today with the daylight savings change!

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24 hours sober

The time change made me mixed up all day and nothing was realy satisfying today :confused::rofl:
My lunch didnā€™t taste good :nauseated_face:
I was at the pool but I was so bored and unmotivated.
Both happens max 2 a year!

Feeling depressed and tired.

I got a severe rash on a common painkiller (diclofenac).

This is the first time in 10 years, I took any real pain killer despite of some aspirin (have lower back problems since weeks) and then something like that!!!

My skin is looking like a strong neurodermatitis attack. I even need cortison ointment.
:woozy_face::hot_face::angry::rage:

Due to that and my mental lability, I would like to talk to my doctor for a sick leave tomorrow. But my nearest colleague is still on holiday and the other one was fired. So I think I will go.

Will bring head to pillow soon. Sober! This night and probably tomorrow. ODAAT.

Much love :black_heart:

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Not the greatest day, had something happen this morning that infuriated me and ive struggled to shake it off for the rest of the day, im a sensitive person n felt very hurt. Im doing well with my sobriety but then some days ā€¦whack!! like a ton of bricks i get this scared feeling like my addiction one day might come back and get meā€¦thats the only way i can describe it, anyways tomorrrow is a new day n i hope to wake up feeling better, my love to you all :heart:

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Checking in on day 90 :smiling_face:. Still my family is not doing too good, but weā€™ll take it step after step, as we all do here. Have a sober day and night, sending energy to all those currently struggling.

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Day 5 ending after a very good span of 31 days. I keep learning from my mistakes and I hope to do better this time with the help of the Lord and with others
Lately I discovered aso that I have a compulsive behavior with Twitter

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Happy Sunday my friends. Little rain here in Chicagoland. Ill take that over snow about now.

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Congrats on 90 days!! @AlexWayhill

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Happy anniversary and day 189!! Good call heading home!! And great pic!!!

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Had a slip, but here is to Day One :cherry_blossom::purple_heart::cherry_blossom:

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