Checking in daily to maintain focus #54

Good morning checking in day 19!. I can tell the brain cells are still recovering I was excited I was almost at 30 days and realized I was at day 18 lol…but hey I’ll take 18 days any time. Let’s not just think about getting through another day let’s enjoy another day…remember we only get so many. Smooth sailing Charlie and stay safe!

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The socks keep the feet nice and dry :wink:

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Day 1 again. But I made it 117 days sober so I know I can do that again. Taking this as a learning opportunity. Glad I have therapy tomorrow.

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Sorry to hear about ur slip but glad ur trying again :slight_smile: hugs

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Day 372. Sleep has been a little better but still not great. I’m beginning to think there might be an underlying ADHD or the like at play. I’ve been feeling really creative, and I’ve been sorting through a lot of clutter. And I can recognise that I would previously deal with this feeling of excess energy by sipping on lager throughout the day, not to get drunk but to feel more settled. I’m glad for the extra holiday tomorrow as I feel behind on housework and laundry especially.
ODAAT all

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This really resonates with me. I know that every day I have to commit some time to recovery activities. It’s ok if it’s not always exactly the same. But I have some non-negotiables like daily meditation, for now a daily meeting in person or online, and a gratitude list. It is such a sneaky disease. Since relapsing I’ve been struggling to trust myself but I find comfort through connection and action. Sometimes i don’t think enough, like monitoring how I’m feeling, and other times I think too much - thinking when I need to be doing. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, you are so strong :yellow_heart:

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@CueBall8n9 wow that’s awesome!! Good luck today! @liminal.rehab that outfit is :fire:!! and @Cjp love your new piercing!

9 days AF. Woke up this morning exhausted and gratefully sober. Yesterday was the party and I stayed very aware of how I was feeling. At one point it got really loud and I could feel myself getting agitated so I left and took a walk around the building, checked in here, and texted some AA folks. I also headed out early when I knew I’d reached my limit. I was still able to enjoy the party and I’m hopeful one day I’ll not be obsessing about the alcohol the whole time and won’t be so easily drained. I’m so glad my mother in law and the family had a good time and built some good memories. I was watching the people drinking and hearing folks talk a lot about alcohol and I was so grateful to be free of that life. Before recovery I would have spent the whole time worrying about maintaining my buzz and would have missed out on being present. There really is a freedom that comes with sobriety - I got just a whiff of it yesterday and I can’t wait to continue moving forward in this journey. Happy sober Sunday all :yellow_heart:

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@Catmama23 Thank you! But You are JUST as strong!! I can relate to the not trusting myself. When i was relapsing every 3 days or so, i really didnt trust myself to not use. I had very little faith in my ability to say no to drugs and felt like i was “drowning” in this disease of addiction. And i think the not trusting ourselves part is our addiction trying to make us doubt ourselves. I find that the addict thinking doesnt just come to us in the obvious forms of cravings or thoughts of using/drinking. But It also comes in sneakier ways, like doubting ourselves in our recoveries, negative thoughts about ourselves, self sabotage, dishonesty etc (thongs that encompass addiction). At least this is what i experienced. Addiction just shows its ugly face in so many ways so i often feel like I have to be aware of my thoughts.
I like what u said here:

Im going to use this term :slight_smile: bcuz there are things for me that i have to do on a daily basis for me to feel somewhat grounded and strong in my recovery. I really like that term non-negotiables :smiley: Thank you!!

I want to say though how proud i am of you! I see the hard work that ur putting into ur recovery. Its very inspiring! Im so glad ur here. Ive gotten alot out of ur posts and am grateful that we are on this journey together :slight_smile:

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Oh how cool! Definitely sounds like an adventure :heart: Norway, never been but its on the bucket list (as with the other Scand. countries). Amsterdam is and always will be my second home. Architecture there blows me away. I could just walk for hours. Keep the updates coming, I’ll love to see them!

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Thank you so much @Butterflymoonwoman everything you say is true. I have definitely brought a lot of emotions and struggles to this forum and it is such a gift to be able to do so.

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I know right? I mean depression also sucks but you kind of know where you are with it.

I find focusing on as much wholesome stuff as possible and not making any important decisions are both good shouts when anxiety is bubbling away.

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In what way does it sound good? I find delving into the reason behind this kind of thought and then applying logic to it often helps.

E.g. the taste… You don’t drink poison just because it tastes nice, other things taste nice. Or the feeling… Why do we need the feeling - anxious, upset, insecure etc? Well let’s deal with that!

Etc.

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Checking in. I’ve been catching up a bit on here. I’m going to my women’s meeting in the park today and will be giving a 9 month token to my sponsee. I’m feeling pretty chill today even though I have three work deadlines next week, normally my anxiety would be through the roof. Maybe doing self care has helped me. I recommend it, for anyone feeling stressed today! Have a great day friends!

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48 hours of partying and still sober with no urge or need to have any. One more night to go. Took a few hours to let me hair down and any inhibitions I might have about dancing like a twat but once I popped I couldn’t stop. Sobriety rocks :slightly_smiling_face:

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Checking in
Day 448
Its only half way through my work day but its been good overall. My client has been away from the home with his family, so its been very quiet here. I had some time this morning to do my recovery routine and attend an online sermon. It was good! Felt soooo good to be doing something for my recovery today! I feel connected and grateful 🩷 Now to just finish off the last 4 hours of work and head home to my family. Hope everyone is having an addiction free day!
:butterfly:

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@Misokatsu congrats on quadruple digits :tada:
@JazzyS it’s a beautiful number :heart_eyes: thank you. Sending you strength as it sounds like you’re having a tough time too :people_hugging:🩵
@SoberWalker I’m sorry you’re sick on your holiday :pensive: feel better soon 🩵
@Corey808 congrats on double digits :tada: sending strength 🩵
@Seb sending strength 🩵
@CueBall8n9 good luck! Hope it went/goes well :crossed_fingers:t2::microphone:
@KarenKW sorry to hear, but welcome back :blush: I hope you can be honest with your therapist and it goes well 🩵

1000 days no alcohol.
465 days no cocaine.
87 days no vape.

There aren’t many of them, but there’s probably a handful of drinking photos of me, amongst my collosol collection of 17.5K screenshots. Weirdly, one of them showed up today. It took me a minute, because my first thought was ‘I wish I was as fat as I always thought I was back then’ (it was before my eating disorder escalated) but I then realised it was my 1000th day since I drank alcohol for the last time. I drank for another 8 years after I lost the ‘ability’ to get drunk, constantly thinking each time would be different. Putting more and more poison into my body for no benefit whatsoever. So it didn’t even give me the escape which I was so desperately seeking.
The day I found out there were fatty changes in my liver, was the day I stopped drinking. If only I could’ve stopped eating junk as well. In August, that will be 3 years ago.

Today the weather is glorious, I just did my PM walk in just a tshirt, and was plenty warm enough, I wished I had put shorts on too, but I wore my joggers. It was so liberating.

Now I am laying down and catching-up here. Trying to ignore the chest pains I’m having. I will use my GTN spray if they don’t settle by the time I post this.

🩵

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congrats!!

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Wow 1000 well done. :clap::clap:

Day 65 today all going ok touch wood

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Congrats on 1000 days. You’re such a positive energy around here. :v::fire:

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1000… I am so proud!
It’s so good to have you here!

:raised_hands:t2: :people_hugging: :blue_heart:

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