Checking in 434 days 
Still freezing my butt off here. Travelled into the city for work, was an okay day. Still feeling pretty good, no tears and dread. Iām happy the medication is working well.
Working from home tomorrow, going to cook for the family. I love that I can work at home and get dinner sorted and be there when the kids go to school, and pick them up if they like. Itās a good feeling, I missed doing those things. And I appreciate it a lot more now Iām sober.
Looking forward to sleep, I slept pretty rough last night, I think I was nervous about coming to work. But it wasnāt too bad. Big love to you all, stay clean friends 
21 Likes
Day 24 today. I went to my meeting yesterday. County recovery education. I referred myself 4 weeks ago. The rest of the group are parolees and their participation is mandatory. Hearing their stories cause me mixed emotions. I am grateful that my addiction did not put me in jail. Only the prison I created by drinking daily and to excess. These young people have complicated their lives and now are struggling to be purposeful in society.
20 Likes
Day 10 today. Yay double digits. I somehow donāt feel happy. Iāve been there so often and always started again after some timeā¦ I feel sad that I can not drink like a normal person
16 Likes
What is normal? Congratulations on 10 days. Here in our community you are as normal as us all. We are glad you are here. Think of you as healthier and also saving a bit of money by not drinking. Stay positive and know you are better to be sober.
8 Likes
Hello friends 
Iām happy to report that Iām 90% back to normal, no itching, just a bit of a tender spot still. I now have a bug bite prevention and treatment kit to keep on hands! Our health care system locally is merging two entities so we have to switch clinics and primary care providers (PCP aka GP) so Iām on another list for an appointment (disappointing but not a surprise) but when it happens Iāll bring up my reactions to the PCP.
I had plenty of down time during this period and contemplated some of my emotions lately. I have had moments of anxiety and overwhelm with all that needs to be done, but I want to work more on reframing this energy toward excitement and forward focused action. It goes back to thinking āI get to do thisā versus āI have to do this.ā I get to reduce my load of stuff that I donāt need and I get to move into our new house with a fresh start and organize our life and make a house a home. Between the two of us we will get it done, we arenāt in a huge time crunch but we are excited to get there permanently. I get to look forward to my family coming to visit during this transition and getting some help to settle in and wrap up cleaning our rental house. All exciting things, and we will plug away at these details one thing at a time, one day at a time! And I get to be sober moving into a new home for the first time. I am grateful I had some time to contemplate this reframing and I think it will be very helpful.
Thanks for folks who messaged concerns and suggestions recently. I appreciate all of you! Stay strong, amigx!
20 Likes
Zahlen, Daten, Fakten - Alkohol.
I am sorry you feel this way. Missing out on something? Look at the statistics.in Germany. What are normal drinkers?
Congratulations on your 10 days 
8 Likes
Day 14. Good morning everyone, im trying to make sure I check in everyday now. Iām doing well, today is my last day of dinner cook in the house and im looking forward to that. I had a good one on on with my counselor yesterday, just kind of talked about school, tried getting my immunization records which is being difficult. She would like me to go back to mental health counseling and itās not that Iām refusing, but honestly Iāve been to two different mental health counselors and neither did anything different then what my substance abuse counselors do. Idk every time I talked to my mental health counselor the interaction really wasnāt different, I mean one time thebi told the guy I was feeling well today was having a really good day, and he was like well if youāre having a good day then I guess their isnt much to talk about today. Idk thatās just a petty thing im complaining about but to me I figured we still would of talked about something not just end the session. Idk maybe Iām setting expectations on it and I shouldnāt be. Who knows I just kind of feel comfortable with the counselors I have. Idk I miss my girls like crazy, I wish I wouldnāt have this overwhelming exhaustion of being confused Iām having such a hard time finding what my heart wants right now. Much love everyone not really sure what else to talk about
22 Likes
Hey Mike, glad youāre going to be checking in more often. Just a thought, take it or leave it, but what if you thought about some emotional/mental health stuff youāve been noticing in yourself in general, maybe some patterns? And even if youāre having a good day you can bring some topics to discuss with the MH counselor. And I think there can be overlap in substance use and mental health issues, itās hard to separate things out, but Iād take whatever help they offer you at this point. Just my thoughts. Glad to see you back on track.
10 Likes
Day 205
Feeling like I have too much cluttering my head today. But Iām sober. 
19 Likes
Hi everyoneā¦checking in on day 31 
17 Likes
Checking in day 25 sober.
Not sure whatās different this time but itās somehow easier a lot of the time. I have a good friends 40th birthday tonight and I already know Iām not drinking and thatās because I donāt want to. I donāt want to feel tired the next day,
I want to hit the gym and then go to work feeling great and ready for the challenge. I have never not wanted to drink at a nice dinner as an adult. I have NOT drunk at many nice dinners but it required effort and I felt I was missing out.
I donāt know why this has changed, itās confusing me a bit. The best way I can describe it is that the effort of being sober is going down pretty fast and the amount of headspace dedicated to alcohol or avoiding alcohol is now very low. Iāve worked hard at breaking a lot of bad habits for the past 18 months and I finally feel I may be winning. Kinda feel elated.
Have great days all and thank you for sharing your stories with me
20 Likes
Hey all, checking in on day 1,088. I hope everybody has a good one!
21 Likes
Happt Wednesday! Hope everyone has an awesome day.
17 Likes
Day 900,
Should be time to celebrate. But the days go on and off. Yesterday my son visited so had a good day. Today mwa again. My mother is here with me. Feel like repeating myself. Know that accepting is contra of resistance which keeps me in this circle. Friday I start writing on step 4 at my sponsorās place. Mixed feelings about that. I wrote my resentment list down, itās longā¦ā¦ā¦900 days seems like long, but it feels like just a few weeks ago now. Feel I digged a pretty deep hole for myself, next month going on holiday with my son and his mother. I stay at a different location close by theirs. Last year it went fine like that, this year I hope I manage, was on Ritalin at the time which gave lots of energy but right after the holidays it pushed me into my traumaās. And here I am now dealing or reliving all of that, my whole active use feels like trauma. Sometimes I have the thought of moving in with them, but thatās just my dependent ass. We separated 13 years ago, she just left after I was sick at my parents place and she experienced the peace without me. Canāt blame her, although I have some resentment she did nothing at the time to try open my eyes. Not that it would have worked. Took me another 10-12 years to realize I was the problem. Missed a lot of my son growing up, but grateful that I have a great bound with him. Remuneration is my middle name at the moment 
21 Likes
Hi sorry my response is so delayed.
Iām feeling a little dissociation the past 2 weeks so just taking each day slowly and being gentle with myself.
Doing more reading than writing here.
15 Likes
