Something that kinda hit me today that reminds me that we all were at day 1
A lot of you know I have a student apprentice at work, it was getting later in the day and running thin on jobs he could do, I told him ask the shop foreman if he has anything for him might keep him going till it’s quitting time. He’s like eh you have anything? I’m like weird diagnostics and a radio reprogram, Is all I got
So he was hanging out a bit disappointed like man I watch you guys rip out engines and know what to look for what tools you need and it’s second nature, I’m still getting through tires and oil changes, it’s been about a month. And he knows how to do emissions testing cause he watched me do it a hundred times.
I said look around you, everyone In here started just where your at, simple jobs, gain your confidence and momentum. And you grow from there, I taught him alot but repetition is the key.
It reminded me of coming into sober living, new friends new people new way of life, I hear often I’m only on day 3, or how intimidating it can feel to be surrounded by people with decades of sobriety while you just got your 30 day chip,
For those of you who just started, we all had a day 1 day 2 day 3. No one got to 20 years without hitting the same milestones, instead of being intimidated, imitate, look to do better. When I teach I say I want my students to do better than me.
For the newcomers aspire to do better than the ones who came before you
One more first shift to finish my work week. Visited a mini conference about promoting recovery in the people I work with yesterday, after regular working hours. Which was useful and good but confronted me with my social limitations too. Not yet capable of making contact in a room with about 70 people I don’t know. Well. One step at a time. And it didn’t make me crave for the wine that was available. I just left a bit early. X
I only slept for about 3 hours this evening. I had a dream about my former best friend who was actually the catalyst for my sobriety. I was so desperate to save my relationship with him for fear of ending up alone that I started this journey. And now I have such a strong relationship with myself that I’m able to recognize that I started my sobriety journey in spite of him and that it was a step I needed to take in order to gain the self respect and self love to see that he is not the friend I thought he was. I feel so free and now I’m just patiently waiting for what needs to come out to come out.
Congratulations @Butterflymoonwoman! I think you’ve found a lot of freedom, sense of self and self confidence with these 500 days! And so much else! Admire you so much and tremendously happy for you!
Yay you, too, on running for a minute, now! Yay!! Big hugs.
Holidays make me exhausted. I could sleep all day. I think it’s the stress of the change in routine and the anxiety that makes me worry I’m not being fun enough.
I’m looking forward to the bland predictable normality of home! But not saying that to my wife, and I’m doing my best at being enthusiastic about stuff!!
‘Masking’ has been my entire life, although I think I don’t do it as well as I suspect.
Back from my therapist. Will be going to a special treatment centre for diagnostics were they put everything in the equation, thyroid, adhd, trauma, addiction and some more maybe. Also including neurological research. It is not that I’m looking forward to that, but geus it has to be done to come up with a descent plan for the future.
We aren’t trying to make you do anything, zzz. Your sobriety is for you. AA is for those who are willing to do what it takes to get and stay sober because they WANT to get sober. If you are intent on taking time off from sobriety whenever a friend comes thru town, AA won’t work either. You haven’t even accepted that you have a drinking problem. If you had accepted it, you wouldn’t be meeting with your friend for a beer. I hope we continue to see you when you’ve decided to commit.
Except the misery that drinking brings you. That follows you everywhere. You must forget all the terrible things drinking has brought you. Maybe go back and read all your old posts. Or are you just going to pretend it’s going to magically be different this time?
3 months, 15 days. Just got back from a 4 day work conference that involved loads of travel and work colleagues letting loose. Staying sober was a breeze and one of the finer parts of the trip. It was a relief to be present and feeling great for the conference. Nothing got in the way of me learning with a sharp, rested, and focused mind.
Day 1,112 clean and sober today. I tried a new medication for sleep last night and I had the most horrifying nightmares that I’ve had in years. I woke up and slept in the living room it shook me so badly. I understand it’s my sub conscious but reason and logic don’t help that much in the middle of that. I am tired but am going to take a drive out to the country and do some hiking etc and try and shake it off. I hope everyone has an amazing and beautiful day today, love you guys
sleep was rubbish last night, my mind was racing about work, its use to falling aslerp after a bottle of wine. I am sure it will settle soon.
