Hi Jenny, I guess career wise things are good. My job is teaching me a lot and I have a promising interview with a new organization close to where my mom lives (about 1000 miles from where I currently live). That’s triggering a lot of the questions about what I want.
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Checking in at the end of day2
Overall was feeling goog most of the day but now my anxiety is hitting that I have to go into work tomorrow and explain my situation to my boss as I’ve been off alot lately and have been off the last 3 days just feel I need to be honest with him to go forward wish me luck 
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Ah good luck mate. The thing I find with anxiety is that I still have it sober, in fact I was using drink to numb it. So my anxiety and realisation of my condition kind of intensified. I know that sounds gripping, but I prefer to see the positive side - I’m sober and working on stuff properly instead of getting smashed to hide. So if you can, own your anxiety and remind yourself that you may now be starting to deal with the real, sober you. And that’s such a fantastic thing. 
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I completely get that, I have felt at a crossroads for seemingly years recently and it is always because there are so many possible outcomes. I tend to be a bit of a control freak too so always want answers 
Something I will say is that I impulsively applied for my current job as Covid meant my previous role was dull, and it has somehow turned out to be absolutely perfect for me. I nearly turned it down as on paper it wasn’t right, but it is the perfect balance of nerdy interests and using my skills. I am rambling now but trying to say that we don’t always know how to get there.
I really hope the interview goes well. What else is bothering you? I am not sure how old you are but know a lot of people my age (40-50) are really struggling with modern life right now.
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Could you have neurodivergence? A lot of depression/anxiety comes from ADHD/autism spectrum, especially undiagnosed. Lots of addicts have some form of neurodivergence hence the boredom, lack of dopamine. Maybe check your neurotransmitters. I’ve had depression as long as I can remember turned out I had ADHD and low seratonin production. Knowing that has changed everything
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@anon15828629 I wish you the best for tomorrow, hopefully your boss is supportive and understanding 
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Checking in on day 161. Vacation is about to start in 3 days and I am going to propose to my girlfriend in 10 days, I am really getting nervous now 
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I am also a bit stressed out, as there is an extended weekend coming up with a group of friends and I am thinking of having a drink again, although I fear this would be back into the vicious cycle. So I am going to be open and tell them in advance that I am not drinking and staying sober. It’s going to be different, but I enjoy life as a sober person now so much more than the drunken years!
Wish you all a good and sober day or night 
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Appreciate it bud will keep Yee updated on here tomorrow night 
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That is so exciting, good luck and keep us updated!
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Forsure Im not in any spectrum of autism. ADHD, I dont see that any of those symptoms fit me. One doctor asked me if I migth be bipolar, if my parents are.
All I feel is that something is wrong, that I have a sickness or disease and I will die.
How do one check for neurotransmitters? And how you figured about ADHD and seratonin(whats this?))))
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Will do, promised 
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From what I’ve learned serotonin is the chemical in our brain that regulates our mood. It’s our happy neurotransmitter. Its related to dopamine. I did a urine test in my home through an online site called lab.me. But I think there are other alternatives. I had very low serotonin production. The docs recommended vitamins, supplements (Ex. Ashwaganda, Vit D, Magnesium) and it was a game changer. Personally I don’t take medication (bc I always get addicted) so having info helped.
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I agree with you. So many stories of frustration and indecision of their next step. I suggest that continuing to reach out here at TS will guide them to a clean and sober future. On the other side there are so many sober friends here celebrating hundreds and even thousands of days of sobriety. It is awesome and inspiring to say the least. Wishing you a nice day.
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No, i havent, not for any reason, just not. If they ask tomorrow I’ll tell them honestly.
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433 days 
It’s awful weather here today, hail and huge amounts of rain. I am grateful I can work from home today!
I made it sober through a long weekend. Still have not made it back to the gym, but my mental health is improving a lot, and I’m feeling stronger in my sobriety so I’ll take those wins.
Have a great day friends 
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Checking in
Day 477
So my son had his appt… and it went pretty good! Feel a littly silly being so wound up over it. Like why do i have to waste my entire day being anxious when in fact the appt went well. I was just nervous i guess. I have to do better next month when we do this medical procedure again. I feel emotionally drained now. Pretty tired. But i managed to get my fondant made and do a bit of planning for these cupcake toppers. Waiting for hubby to get home from work and then thankfully this day will soon be over. I need the rest lol Hope everyone is doing well.
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day 260 AF
Still here, still havent had a drink!
Been on a cleaning rampage this past long weekend then the rest of it was rather chill with the wife.
Back at work today and greeted to snow on the range this morning, its about to get super cold here real soon.
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I enjoyed another day of abstinence, I was depressed at first but the day got better. As a whole I had a good day. I play bass guitar and I’ve decided I’m going to try my hand at rapping now too because I really enjoy performing music. I was a little worried about court on the 20th but I know that everything is going to be fine in the end. I look forward to what tomorrow brings.
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I feel like this too. At the moment my days start out feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, but I persist to get through all my tasks (even though brain and body say…“Do Nothing”). Then by evening/bedtime I feel better.
I look forward to when this will end and I wake up with joy and bounce out of bed!!
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Hey! In order to keep the forum tidy I moved your post onto this daily check in thread. Hope you to see more of your posts here. 
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@catmancam Best of luck with your appointment tomorrow. I do hope that bringing it all up again will not be painful and will be helpful.
@Wakikki congrats on your sober time – very impressive. I am so sorry. I would tell your doctor about your alcohol use…they really can’t help you properly or diagnose correctly if they don’t have all the facts. Just knowing that you are keeping a secret that could possibly help you might also cause unknown anxiety. Fingers crossed that you get the best results and soon – not a comfortable feeling to live with. Sending you comfort my friend
@Twizzlers so sorry that you worry about this so often — sending you hugs and comfort too
@anon15828629 congrats on your day 2! I do send you the best of luck my friend. The more you dwell on today/ tonight the more anxious you will become. Do some meditation or breathing exercises to help relieve the anxiety tonight.
@alexwayhill Great time this weekend with your friends – You can take your own na drinks or juices / flavored or seltzer water so you can be ready with something in hand. Excited for you on the proposal – do keep us updated
@butterflymoonwoman Oh love so glad that your son’s appointment went well. Hope you get a decent night’s rest so that you can regain your energy
Checking in on Monday evening
166 days weed and alcohol free
581 days cigarette free
I received my GI map test results tonight… I’m asking for an appointment with a specialist to explain the results because they are not so great if I’m reading them right. I was under the impression that this test would only reveal parasites or allergies not chronic diseases. I’m trying not to get choked up about them and will try my hardest to accept whatever is in store. I’m just a bit emotional at the moment and going to meditate / pray. I hate the addict voice and am working overtime to shut it up. Ok- as i’m doing this update I am also checking on these results and this one site says they are between 26-80% accurate – OKAY seriously WTF! I’m going to breathe and not drink / smoke…Have a great night my sober friends…
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