A massive congratulations Menno. Your words on here have been really helpful to me in my short time here 
Checking in on day 32!
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Oh i can relate to what you are going through and just wish that you find some peace soon.
Hopefully the therapist can help shed some light on how to cope. 
I do understand how enormously difficult it is to do anything in this condition but you have to remind yourself that this isnt YOU.
Force yourself to bring positivity abd laughter in (not easy but baby steps). Only watch comedy - i ised to only watch shows like criminal minds, bones, csiā¦you get it - i stopped watching them all and literally watched stand up comedy or shows i knew were going to make me laugh. I opened up all the windows to let in fresh air and light (even on grey days). Repeatedly saying positive affirmations. These little things really pulled me up and i di hope they can so the same for you.
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Day 1,091 clean and sober today. I think the anti depressant medication is starting to work. I donāt feel that unbearable, heavy weight that has been on me for so longā¦ Iāve only noticed it for the past couple of days so Iām hoping that theyāre finally kicking in. What a fucking relief! The night medication is helping me sleep a little bit better as well but still not great as Iām very tired but overall itās a major improvement for sure. I hope everyone has an amazing day today, love you guys! 
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@Butterflymoonwoman DANA! Itās not bad enough Canada sends all its geese to America to shit everywhere but now its sending smoke here too! 
. I mean in spite of all that I still think you are an alright galā¦
Checking in on Day 1,776 Soberā¦
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Congratulations on 4 years! Thatās so awesome.
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Day 121 and on the next to last day for this business trip in central Mexico. This trip has been a great time to enjoy interacting with people , speaking Spanish, eating amazing food, and just having good alone time in the evenings to read, pray, and think.
Hope you all have a blessed day.
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Awe lol this was the first thing i read this morning and it made me laugh and smile. Thank you for that!
Sharing is caring tho 
Just be careful of those cobra chickens (geese), they can be mean lol and hopefully the smoke goes away for u quickly. How bad is it there?
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10 days being clean from self-harm.
What a such shitty school day today! Few classmates a lot triggered me on purpose, I got dissociated and while I didnāt controler my body I attacked themā¦ After that few other classmates started to harass me.
I feel like smashed potatoe over wall, seriously. I cried and screamed a lot today. I hate my class, absolutely.
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Appreciate and am so proud of you!!!
That is so true indeed! WOW ā Iām impressed with your new attitude and daily routine. Remember to do what you can sustain long term (do not want to burn yourself out). Keep up the amazing work.
@jennyH wishing you comfort today my friend !!
@sabrina80 Oh love Iām sorry that this guy was not ready for a relationship. It is most definitely not you and I am glad that the negative thoughts that youāve had before are in the past. Keep doing you and you the positivity will radiate and you will find someone who is ready and available. For now keep being āgood to yourselfā ā Have fun at the river. Sometimes I put in my earbuds and just people watch
@soberwalker ā DAMN another parcel gone in the wind ā WTF ā Iām furious for you and Iām sorry that you are dealing with this. I do hope that working in the garden is soothing and lessens the cravings. Great pics of the tree over the seasons.
@rockstar24777 WOW my friend so happy to hear that the meds are working. So thrilled for you all around ā this will make your vacation even more enjoyable.
@bomdhil -you are crushing it with day 7 my friend
@cueball8n9 so glad to hear that you are enjoying your trip in Mexico so far. Love how you are spending your evening!
@nastya_is_fighting double digits my friend!!! OH LOVE Iām so sorry for your horrible classmates ā They are absolutely the worst. Do not listen to them ā You are a caring, beautiful human being and I do hope that you are able to see this too. Itās good to cry and scream to release the pain! We are all here for you and love you. Sending you hugs!!!
Checking in on Thursday morning
Here and sober - trying to make the best of the day. A bit of a slow start but taking it one moment at a time today. My mind is go go go and my body is no no no 
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Good morning all of you wonderful people !!
Day 5 sober for me
Off to do my thing
Take care
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Good morning fam day 15. Still just feeling very uncertain and trying to listen to my heart and figure this stuff out. Im trying to let go and just let what happens happen. Iām also trying to speak about my feelings more especially here in the house and say whatās really on mind and not hold it in. Been hitting the gym and just trying to stay focused. Got this nice little award yesterday from the house and it felt nice, itās calming to know people have my back and understand me. Much love
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Checking in. Finally got some sleep last night, not enough but good quality. After my contemplation yesterday about anxiety vs. excitement, today Iām thinking about stress. I am acknowledging that i have stress right now, and often in life, thatās just part of life, but especially heightened right now with big changes and work to do. I donāt want to downplay the real impacts of stress on me and need to ensure Iām recognizing it, evaluating it, and addressing it in healthy ways.
I had another allergic reaction yesterday, this time to a hair product that I donāt normally use but have used with no reaction in the past. This time after an hour or so my scalp was on fire, burning itching, just awful, but I didnāt know what was causing it. I figured it out eventually and washed it out and felt better, but this tells me that my body is vulnerable right now and probably due to stress. I recognize that, it is also showing up in my digestive system big time. So I will be sure to be gentle with my body as much as possible and use hypoallergenic products only right now. Will still bring up to a doctor at some point, as well. Iām not being as gentle with my guts so I need to look at what Iām eating more closely as well. Man o man, itās been a week!
Lots of running around to do today and might get a car load of stuff over to the house if Iām lucky but not going to stress over THAT so much!
Hang in there, amigx. Stay the course and keep coming back. 
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Much love and support headed your way my friend!!! 
Can we help in any way?
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Thank you, this means to me a lot!!!
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Sending big hugs. 
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Continuing this thread for today.
Now itās after school and Iām at work. Mood is absolutely shit honestlyā¦ But co worker made me tea, which made me smile for a bit. Time to work a bit and listen to Linkin Parkā¦ Linkin Park saves my ass honestly.
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The person I wanted to be my sponsor is not available to sponsor. I feel so stuck. Like the more I want things to change the more they just stay the same. I will do everything I can not to drink today but this is just miserable. Iām trying and nothing happens. Like pushing against a wall. Iām so freaking frustrated. I want to scream.
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Thanks @Soberbilly but things just donāt seem to be working out for me. Maybe it just isnāt possible for everyone. Iām glad recovery and AA has been working out so well for you. Maybe one day it will get better for me but that day isnāt today. I tried.
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