@bones_80 Enjoy the Rookie (I haven’t caught up but do enjoy the show) – Fingers crossed that your tests come back with some answers @kareness how are you doing today? I know it sucks not being motivated but sometimes our bodies just need to shut down and recharge. I do hope you are enjoying your Sunday @catmama23 so happy that you are doing better and getting back into your routine. I know the sudden onset of energy zaps clear out of the blue – don’t let them discourage you!! You are working on yourself and in time your energy will get back to normal too… listen to your body and go with the flow. Great job on 4 days!
So true my friend – I do hope that you start feeling good and become healthy on the inside… the gym, your sobriety and now your mental health sessions will all hopefully get you to your inner health goals @sabrina80 I am glad to hear that you are in a good place. The romantic notions of alcohol being our way of “handling” anything. We do know better which shows our growth! Late sleepless night – I do hope you get some rest today my friend @catmancam Sorry for the one person who is creating such a unwanted environment in your group. I would think the facilitators would say something to this person about smoking weed so openly or at all during these sessions. Glad you kept your camera on for majority of time-I do hope you continue with these as I think they would be helpful (hopefully you can drown out the one bad seed). Yikes – Sorry that napping causes nightmares! @Hillbillychris Congrats my friend. I’m sure you will be a great parent! Don’t allow all the what if’s cause you any anxiety now. I’m not a parent but do know that it’s a learning curve for everyone. Just the fact that you are overprotective and already worried shows how much you will love and take care of your new addition. @xxix excited that you are reducing the doses – do them gradually like you have been and you will be done with them soon enough. Check in here often to release your thoughts and hopefully will reduce your anxiety. @sobermedic sorry that you are so triggered at work and then again when scrolling social media. Do know you are not missing out! You are doing great and need to keep reminding yourself of why you started your sobriety journey. You are stronger than your addiction and life is so much sweeter sober @GenG you are doing so well. Getting you Vit D back to normal will be a game changer – we don’t realize how insanely balanced our bodies need to be (low on one thing can cause major shifts in energy, mood and overall attitude /motivation). Wishing you the best with your anxiety today. Excited for your trip
@brian1965uk wow what a clear message! Glad you had a lovely night out and did not give in to your urges!!! @nastya_is_fighting WOW – how amazing!!! By ignoring the message and knowing that replying would be triggering and a possible relapse and then keeping yourself clear of this is huge! Not mean of you at all. It shows growth and self-value – you are taking care of yourself and protecting your sobriety. Kudos to you my friend. So glad that your mom likes your bf – so happy for you! Yikes- I do hope you didn’t break anything and hopefully you are not in pain. @kelwooo my goodness girl yes you should be super proud of yourself and your overall accomplishments. Glad you are able to stay in your flat for now and wishing you the best with your new start in July. So glad you are not experiencing any urges and are just a few days away from your 30 days!!! So happy for you. @Jasty2 Yikes- I’m sorry to hear about your accident and the pain from it – I do hope that your doctor is able to see you soon and get you sorted out without surgery! @zzz what a lovely way to start the day! Looking relaxed my friend @marc3 I’m sorry for the nicotine slip – glad you are able to see this as a slippery slope and correcting the actions. Glad you and your partner have resolved your argument. Have fun at the medieval festival @hayleylujah YEAH TO the 1 year of sobriety!!! Way to go and glad you will be sticking with it. DO celebrate your achievement in a sober manner – Keep up the amazing work!
Checking in on Sunday afternoon
172 days weed and alcohol free
587 Day cigarette free
Having a relaxing day and i thought i was going to do a bit of a sugar binge today but instead just did a caffeine binge instead. Would think this would cause me to be jumping off of the walls but instead I am super tired and ready for a nap. I am sober and no urges … hope everyone is having a happy sober Sunday … sending much love
thank you a lot!! Also my leg a bit hurts but what I know from medicine if I had broken leg I would be already yelling from big pain + I wouldn’t walk. So I hope it’s not broken heh!
Doing much better than l was a few days ago. My hormones really mess me up mentally. It is when i am at my worst. Thankfully it’s only 2 or 3 days of hell lol. I got through it and accomplished a lot.
I worked a few hours yesterday. Then took time for myself, laid in the pool and fell asleep! Then slept in my lawnchair to tan the other side of me lol. I needed the sun and the naps. After that i spent about 3 hours moving 100+ rocks and boulders to line my garden beds. Then went to 2 meetings online and watched crime shows until 11 or 12.
Today i worked a few hours. I’m working on my 4th step some more. Need to get fears and the people I’ve hurt done. Later my son and i are going to a USFL football game at the Football Hall of Fame in Canton. I don’t care for football, but he does and it is something different we get to do together so I’m looking forward to it!
Day 5.8 check in. Didn’t really get to exercise or read as much as I wanted but I did go to a meeting and have some time to relax. I’m procrastinating on some chores but that’s ok. Monday has been a high relapse potential day so I’m going to check in here and call another alcoholic along with other recovery stuff. The meeting today was a speaker meeting - I didn’t relate much to the speaker, and she spent a lot of time talking about her active drinking days when I wanted to hear more about how she navigated recovery and the way her life is now. But I’m glad I went because it tells myself (conscious and subconscious) that I’m committed to recovery.
Update. Nothing happened, but I am really not doing so well. My anxiety is through the roof. I wanna scream from the top of my lungs until the fucking Earth shatters.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why is my family so triggering? They haven’t actually done anything wrong, it’s all in my head.
Well… not everything is in my head. They have a way of throwing constant jibes. Like my dad complimenting my husband’s cooking yesterday and following it with ‘but we are so tired, anything would have tasted good’. Like them going to a restaurant for dinner today and not even asking us if we wanted to join. Like him getting all arsy when I told him we’ll leave for the hike at 9 am tomorrow (apparently that’s too late).
At about midday I decided to try meditating on my balcony. As soon as I stepped out I overheard my dad and uncle discussing politics and then saying some pretty shitty things about the country we’re in. Just negative bullshit.
I’m not ok. I’m on edge. I keep thinking about numbing myself with booze.
But fuck that. Fuck letting them win. Not again. Not anymore. I’m gonna have my tea and place my head on the pillow. Sober.
And tomorrow’s hike is happening at 9.30. Because I’m petty like that.
Checking in Day 483
Called off from work today. Had the vacation time to cover my shift so it was certainly nice to have a day home with the family.
Hubby went to run some errands while i did a thorough cleaning of the apartment. Feels great to have a fresh and organized home. Now just doing up the laundry while he cleans one of our fish tanks. I also spent some time working on a new gym routine thay incorporates thr Couch to 5k program. So excited for that!
Not much else going on today! Just loving recovery! Hope everyone is having an addiction free day!
Oh Amy I am so very sorry that you are dealing with so many triggers and such intense anxiety.
No it’s not all in your head. I do hope that they are doing what they are doing / saying unintentionally (not that this makes it any easier to hear). Some folks are just negative by nature and can’t help spreading the negativity - do not let it in. I am sorry that this is all coming from family.
Do know that alcohol will never be helpful and that numbing shit is false — it does not last and it will only make you feel worse later.
Yes - 9:30 is perfect timing for that hike! You take care of you and sending you strength in dealing with your triggers.
