Massive congratulations to you and your wife, that is wonderful news! I remember your sad news last year so really pleased to read this. My daughter had a lot of the owl and the pussycat things in her room as a baby 
Try not to worry about passing on the gene, I think things can be more complicated than that. Your baby will only ever know you as sober which will make a huge difference.
Day 209
I went into Manchester last night to see Roger Waters (he of Pink Floyd fame) and being alone in the city on a warm evening with lots going on in town was a little triggering. I channelled that momentary brain tickle away from booze thoughts and got myself a nice coffee. That placated the pleasure centre of my brain.
Later at the gig a stranger sat next to me got chatting and offered to buy me a drink. I managed to decline without seeming antisocial. So, a successful eveningâŠapart from Manchester City winning the Champions League final!! 
Do you think Roger was trying to tell me something? 
13 days being clean from self-harm.
My morning started with drums lesson! Feeling a lot amazing.
For unknown reason my ex best friend who is drug addicted wrote me⊠Which made me feel a bit strange, but I ignored his message. I donât want to talk with someone, who doesnât want to help himself⊠And as well if I started to talk to him again I would risk again relapsing and stuff, which I donât want to. Maybe itâs mean from me, but I feel it will be better to not contact someone, who is addicted and doesnât want help. So yeah.
I hope everyone are okay. 
Thank you for saying so. Youâre absolutely right. I think I finally had a good conversation with my husband about what the root of my distress was. I donât think I was ready to dismantle the life I had finally gotten organized at our current house in order to prepare to move here. It feels like starting over because thatâs exactly what it is. And I do need to take it odaat. Thanks chica. And no, I donât want some magazine perfection either. 
Sunday and feel a bit sad but ill push through, i know it was right to resign from my job of 5 years and ive a lot to be proud of (taking control of my life and mental health) but its the financial fear and fear of something new to start in july, however everything happens for a reason, i get to stay in my flat now as i have more pay (holiday owed etc) so im good until end of july, i do have a well paying career but its stressful and would like to change, but hard as it means earning a lot less and i dont have anyone financially to rely on, bright side is ive had no cravings or wish to drink which is good, so im proving i can stand on my own feet emotionally (im bi polar and autistic who lives on her own) so thats gotta be good, im on 28 days i think nearly 30, super proud! But the feelings of fear i guess are normal as its the unknown rightâŠ
Morning guys checking in SAF. Still going to meetings and reading the books they gave me. I avoided AA like the plague, because I kept trying to do shit on my own but finally realized through a lot of relapses, that probably didnât need to happen, that wasnât gonna work for me. Had a little accident while working and did something to my shoulder and collar bone, so now Iâm out at home until they can get me in to the doctor to see whatâs going on and when I can go back. Hurts like hell right now but hopefully I didnât tear the rotator cuff again cause I donât want another surgery. Anyways all else is good. Have a beautiful sober Sunday guys. 
Hey all, checking in on day 1,092. I hope everybody has a good one!
Hi all, checking in on day 35 sober. The cloud in my silver lining was that I had 3 cigarettes on Friday, which doesnt feel like too much of a massive deal. But theres a part of my brain that say that was step one on the slippery slope to relapse. It was emotionally driven for sure as I had an almighty row wiith my partner over house chores the night before and I really hate it when we fight. The good news is weâve apologised to each other and moved on. On our way my first medieval festival and Ive made it through another weekend sober. ODAAT
Second Check-In
Started my day at Church. Then drived to nature and enjoyed some Yerba Mate 
Have a good day, Friends 
Im sorry that you are dealing with this. Sundays are meant to be inside out- try embracing that idea.
Your family are adults - they will figure things out. I do like the term âparent-sittingâ⊠listen to your husband. Take deep breathes.
I hope you enjoyed your coffee at the cafe. Do try to find time to meditate - centering yourself and finding calm within is exactly what you need.
Most of all remember that they will be gone soon enough and we are only secinds away when you need to vent 
I do hope your day gets better!
Iâm kind of in the same boat. Fear seems to be logical, I am having it and sometimes even terrified. But fear can be paralyzing and is for me. The opposite of fear for the future is to have faith and trust in the future. Iâm having some but it is hard by times and working hard to growth it.
Some people have said things like âhaving a beer to celebrateâ. Yawn. No, I will be sticking with it
Congratulations!!!
Absolutely Rob, i think we said before we are having similar issues, i had a talk with my mum and will apply for the social housing route, i guess as ive never been through this process i dont know what to expect, i know however, doing the stressful career IS NOT helping my bi polar and autism, so i cant go back to that, i need to start small, be humble and trust the process, i have an employment liason officer contacting me soon via my hospital and regular psychology sessions every thurs now booked, so getting there, im sure it will all work out fine Rob 
hows your sunday going?
Checking in day 7
Hi all
So made it to day 7 iam absolutely delighted to say the least along way to go yet but it has been well over 10yesrs since I went 7 days in a row without a drink or consuming cocaine just going to take everyday is it comes now.
Heading off now to bring the mother for dinner then heading home to relax and reflect on the week to plan next week.
Hope everybody has a great day and are doing good. Yee have all got this we can do this 
PS iam having problems be able to load pics up in different topics when I try to it brings me out of the post and back to the clock everytime has anybody else had this problem or know what I can do to fix. It just seems to be limiting my interaction on topics on here.
Thatâs amazing!! Congratulations on 1 year!!!
Checking in @ day #10
Does anyone know of any inpatient programs in Chula Vista that doesnât take insurance? Iâm in between jobs rn with no insurance.
Second check in.
Okay, so my mother now knows about my boyfriend! It seems she likes him, as well his mother does like me too. So our families knows about our relationships. I thought it will have bad ending, but at the end I feel like I started with my boyfriend new generation, which connected with our families. Itâs nice feeling.
Also, my leg hurts because I felt down on it. But I hope I didnât broke it somehow. It would be very meh situation right now. 
I have a lot of emotions right now, but most of them are positive, which is nice!!
