I’m not a parent but do know how true that statement is. I watch friends and family juggling work, love, kids and it’s exhausting especially these days with all the extra activities (multiple kids doing different after school stuff – FORGET ABOUT IT!) Focus on you and everything will work out. Just remember you are doing the very best you can.
@bones_80 my goodness man – you are giving me strength every day. I am so sorry that you are in such intense chronic pain. I do hope that they are able to get you sorted out and pain free soon enough. Sending you comfort!!
@butterflymoonwoman How did it go with the nurse? Reflecting on your day and doing inventory is awesome – you are correct that it needs to bring all that to the surface so that you can be aware of it and work on it. DO not get wrapped up in it and have it bog you down. This is a learning exercise not a decapitating one. Being so self-aware is exhausting so do take care to be gentle with yourself. You are awesome lady and the fact that you are working on yourself so diligently just proves that. MUCH LOVE!
@Scorpn hugs my friend – we do have our sad moments – I do hope yours has passed… have a beautiful Tuesday
@hoofhearted Loads of hugs my friend – I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I know that the memories will forever keep her alive in your heart. Its good to finally cry and let it out. Glad to see you checking in – know we are all here for you.
@nastya_is_fighting I do agree that you were put in the wrong class – is it possible to stay with this class or do you have to go back?
@completely I totally understand the need and want to get more days and be done with the initial stages of sobriety but we can’t run without learning to crawl and walk first. Try to stay in the present as looking and wishing for future goals can be very slippery and detrimental to your sobriety. Besides, being sober is just the beginning – you will also learn so much about yourself and grow in ways you didn’t know were possible – this takes time. Love the process my friend. Yeah to day 5
@soberbabee0607 Congrats on staying sober during the wedding and beyond – Keep checking in – soon you will be able to post those pics
@Juli1 Much love my friend – Sorry that the damn depression /anxiety is hitting you today. I do hope that you are able to do your meditation and yoga and lift your spirits
@kelwooo A huge congrats on your 30 days!!!
Returning after being gone for a while…
48 hours 
@Dan.h84 hey congrats on your 13 hours and @SleeplessMoonlight congrats on your 48 hours-- we gotta start somewhere. Do you have plans on how to tackle your sobriety? Going to meetings, getting a sponsor, distractions to keep you busy when urges hit…etc. Glad to see you here and checking in-- this site has been a lifesaver. ODAAT
Checking in on Tuesday morning
Man it’s weird - i know i slept because the hours passed but i dont feel like i did (closed my eyes and opened them and don’t feel rested)… UGH! at least today is not so intense so I can move at a snails pace and with the rainy day it feels like i have permission to stay indoors. Have a lovely hot coffee to start the day - hope everyone has a marvelous Tuesday — Sending much love 
Thank you, I used to be very active on here but somehow I drifted but I’m glad to be back
@Misokatsu
Not much sleep, but happy to have watched my daughter sing in front of her class! She’s doing so well
@JazzyS
Yes sadness has passed, and I am getting home from the school where my big girl got to sing a song in the talent show! I’m so proud of her progress! Now i get ready to go to work. I have one hour of free time. My little one is asleep still (rainy day vibes ) so i might have some coffee also and read some here for a while before leaving. 
I hope you are able to rest some today too 
Day 1682.
I am grateful for my decision to leave a bit earlier from work so that now I can listen to the rain and thunder from inside. I love this.
I was just thinking of my therapy in 2020. Painting therapy. I was absolutely not getting what she wanted from me. I cannot paint. No, she kept insisting, it’s not about being able to draw, it’s not art, it’s therapy. Get your feelings on paper in color. Ahhhh, whaaat? I think I never really got to the point. I couldn’t let go of the thinking of what she might expect me to draw.
I gave what I had to go, even exploded in anger and everyone who was triggered had to leave the room as I was beating up a punching bag. What I want to say is that I am glad I did it. Maybe in some years I will understand more about it. Maybe I’ll understand. And if not I still have this picture I made during my last session now in my living room.
Edit: I just remember a situation during this therapy. I can laugh now. Back then I was filled with anger. After lunch I went for coffee with a fellow patient and when we came back a nurse asked us where we had been. I bluntly replied that we were having a glass of wine. It was this afternoon I had to pass an alcohol test for the first time in my life. 
That’s for controlling your impulse and be ready to answer appropriately in every situation.
Hugs to you my friend.
Day 20. One on one with my therapist, we had taken me off my abilify right before my relapse and I have noticed my obsession thinking and mood has completely come back so in realizing that I believe it was helping so we put me back on it. She took me of my buspar for anxiety and I haven’t really noticed anything with that. I feel ok I suppose, I applied for a c.n.a job last may in my home town and didn’t hear anything. Well i just got a email asking if I was still interested in the position. I’m not sure if this is a sign or a test. I’m not sure what to do. I’d like the position so I can be with my girls again. But in also not sure if it’s the right thing, I just wish I knew what to do. I’ll take it a day a time. I did message them back and say yes I’d like the position but my license expired last may so I’m not sure if they can reinstate it or not. Yeah much love everyone
Awwww thank you very much, you inspire me as well!!! 
Lol I forgot to check in. 3 years clean and sober today fuck yeah!
Can you apply for a CNA close to where you are now?
Day 255
The day started bad but ended good. My colleagues got us all some ice cream and after I had this ice cream I felt like me again 
Sometimes stuff happens that can ruin the whole day if you let it.
I decided that some things are out of reach for me to change. Work-related stuff. Bosses are going to push you as far as they can and you have to stay calm, stick with your pace and don’t rush. It’s not worth it.
Besides that I’m good Yesterday I forgot to wear leggings under my dress, guess what I got? Fire red upper thighs. So today: pants!
Going to walk some km again today because the temperature allows it, but not as far as yesterday. But I have to move, it helps me to unwind and calms my mind.
After that I’ll go grocery shopping, Nik passed a song to me that now lives rent free in my head for the next days, my fellow Germans on here will exactly know when I say “und dazu ein belegtes Brot mit Schinken SCHINKEN” 
I want ham now 
Okay that’s it for now, have a beautiful sober day friends and stay strong 
Thanks so much 
Well I was gonna see if the place I applied can reinstate my license and if so I was thinking of applying for a job here where I’m staying. I really am just having a hard time being away from my girls, they really are my world and I miss the bike rides and the little laughs and just having fun. Since I’m not there they don’t really get to go for bike rides Ive just already missed so much in this last year it really eats at me and makes me feel like a terrible father. I know the alternative of me being there and using would be worse. I hope what’s meant to be will be
Congrats sober (almost) twin! So proud of you bro!!!
If you go back stay away from the old crowd bro… I still don’t hang with my old friends much, my time goes to my family and myself… after decades of drinking I have a lot of making up to do to both.
AHHHH YEAH — 3 years is awesome! Hope you are enjoying your vacation celebrating your 3 years 
Day 
Working In 
Working Out 
After that long relapse and skipping workouts feeling small and weak AF. I know everything takes time. At least moving forward.
I know how much they mean to you; you are focussing on you and that’s important. You WILL have your time with the girls again, that’s a given.
Don’t stress, Mike, you’re doing what’s good for everyone. Hugs, sweetie.