Day 150.
Hitting 5 months at midnight, but I’ll be sleeping then. Sober.
Today, I took the day off and went to the beach alone with my book. No drama. No family. They were fine entertaining themselves.
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Hey Jasmine! Thanks for thinking of me. We had a few concerns with the nurse last night. She was struggling to stay awake unfortunately. I spoke to the head manager this morning and explained my issues. He agrees with me fully. He will chat with her and then we will give her 1 more try thru another buddy shift next monday. If she still is struggling, i will be asking for her future alone shifts to be replaced with someone else. And if that cant be done for whatever reason, than i will be doing those 2 shifts myself (which I really dont want to do but my sons safety is #1).
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I missed your 400 days! Major congrats.
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Checking in. Day 249
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So true and i totally agree but am worried about your health as well.
I do hope that either this nurse gets better. Night shifts are hard and she shouldnt be doing if not capable. Or atleast they are avle to bring in someone who can si that you are not left with Thursday night shifts. 
I do hope your day went well my friend:people_hugging:
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7 days AF. Struggled with the usual cast of characters a lot today - irritability, depression, exhaustion. I did the main things I needed to for work and health. I can’t wait to feel better, if that ever happens.
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Checking in day 9
Hi all hope everybody is doing well 
checking in at the end of day 9
Head couldn’t be more clearer and mood has been great the past few days even my partner mentioned to me today she already sees a big difference already long may it last.
I started on a new app last night habit now and made a checklist for me to do everyday with 7 different tasks to complete each day day one went well completing the 7 I had set out to do.
Wound like to say thank you to everybody on here for the help the last 9days it has been a huge boost for me and has given me more strength and determination on my journey
Goodnight to you all and godbless
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Amazing stuff! 
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Wow!!! Way to go!!! Congratulations 
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A huge congrats on completing your 1st week!!! Cast another play and knock out these characters 
I’m glad that you were able to get the main things done today - try to do something just for yourself.
This falls into the future self category in my mind and can be a very slippery slope - just want you to be aware of the feeling and not get engulfed in it.
I am personally dealing with a load of health issues and pain and unexplainable weight that won’t go away but I am trying not to focus on that cause even at 5.5 months I am not noticing any changes externally. Believe me - I understand the frustration and wanting all that sobriety offers to start happening.
I have so many internal changes so that’s something (some that only i can feel/see). I know that I’m on the right path for self healing and eventually all things will fall into place. When that will be is out of my hands and I can’t make that happen any sooner. If I were to focus on not feeling better and not getting my results I would go down the spiral of wtf I might as well go back to drinking, smoking and getting high cause then I was oblivious to all this. This would not only fuck up all the progress I’ve made but also guarantee a shitty unhappy life. Whereas the path I’m on is nothing but progress and I know I have the key to my own happiness.
I do hope that you stay in the present and fight with me ODAAT! we are stronger than our addictions and we deserve a happy healthy sober life 
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Checking in
Day 485
What to say about today lol… It went well overall. Last night though our new nurse (who was doing a buddy shift) struggled to stay awake. So i had to follow up with the manager on that, as it is a requirement that they stay awake throughout the night. We are giving her 1 more try next week to see how she does on another buddy shift. If she doesnt do well, i may have to do 2 ngihts in a row of overnight shifts myself. Unless they can find another nurse last minute.
Today i went out to grab a couple Fathers Day gifts and then came home to work on my cupcake toppers. The order is due end of this week so they need to get done for them to dry enough to hold their shape.
I did my nails for a little self care 
And just about to have supper. Nothing to really complain about today. Hope everyone is doing well!
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Days
247 substance free
164 self harm free
I’m home. And i am so tired! Third week in a row I’ve worked 20+ hours in 2 consecutive days.
Think i may be getting a cold due to not enough rest…
Besides super tired and drained, i am in a pretty good mood. 
Turns out I won’t have any days off this week again, so I’ll be on overtime by Saturday… Unless i do get sick. I hope not. I can use the money overtime brings.
Tonight, i will make some “throw it in the oven” food.
No energy for actual cooking. Hope the kids don’t mind 
How is everyone doing today?
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Hey guys checking in. Went to the work Dr. today, didn’t tear the rotator cuff again, thank God. Just sprained the AC joint, so gonna be out of work for a couple weeks for physical therapy. That’s cool though I could use the time off. Have a good night guys.
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Checking in sober. I’m up to 25 days since my last drink. Cravings haven’t been bad but struggling with depression and anxiety. Bad nightmares last night. So probably going to bed early tonight. I made plans to see a friend for dinner tomorrow. We haven’t gotten together in a while, so it’ll be nice to catch up. And this weekend I am flying up to my Mom’s. I guess things aren’t too bad. And I did get mostly caught up at work, so feel better about that.
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Lonely yet isolating…hmm the wonders of the mind. Feeling low these days but got Boscoe out for a medium walk. Damn its hard to take the right counter action when all i wanna do is curl up and cry
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Sending you a big hug my friend
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@scorpn so happy that you were able to go and see your big girl perform today! It would have been so dear to her to see you in the audience. Glad you were able to make it happen. Awe babe – I do hope you get some rest and can keep the cold away (try flushing your system with vitamin c and sleep with super-hot clothing – you can sweat it out as my brother would say).
@anon74766472 WOW Franzi – that painting is speaking so loudly. I love it and what a great idea to hang in your home to see how you’ve grown! I was not aware of painting therapy but this totally makes sense
@anon53116147 I know you miss your girls and want to be closer to them. Your first priority is to make sure you take care of your sobriety. From what I’ve read it seems that you have a lot of triggers in your home town. Do you think you could avoid these and start a new life for yourself there? If you have any doubt then I would steer clear for now. Nothing is permanent (do remember that)! And never doubt if you are a good dad – I can feel the love and care you have for your girls and I’m certain they can too. It sucks not being a part of the day to day but you are working on yourself now so that this will be made possible. Wishing you the best in whatever you decide.
@chey.o I’m so sorry love! It does take a lot of time for some to move past what we did / said when we were our drunk selves (and unfortunately sometimes this never happens). You are doing amazing AF – 338 days! Keep working on you and hopefully your hubby will come around to seeing the new you. Should be super proud of yourself and do know you will survive this too
@nastya_is_fighting I am so happy for you!!! Keep fighting those demons because you are worth a beautiful and loving life.
My favorite thing to do on a warm summer day!!
@Amy30 Congrats on your 5 months!!! So happy to hear that you did something just for you – sounds absolutely perfect and relaxing.
@cjp awe this depression can just FRO! I’m sorry love and do hope that these feelings sort themselves out soon for you. Do try not to self-isolate – you do need human connection atm. Hopefully that will help you start to feel better.
Checking in on Tuesday evening
174 Alcohol and weed free
589 Cigarette free
7 days gluten free
It’s a beautiful Tuesday – I did take a nap today and do hope that doesn’t fuck up my already fucked up sleep schedule 
. Got the house tidied - ran the dishwasher and found out that the new garbage disposal my brother installed is missing something as i had a nice puddle to clean up. Luckily i was in the kitchen but in a meditative state so it did still take me 15 min to figure out what the beeping was 
I got the area cleaned and dried and then cleaned up all the water from the dishwasher and hand washed all the dishes - my entire body is screaming. This is not a lot of work but these days it feels like a ton! I just looked at my counter for gluten free which i forgot i added and am at 7 days (i have done this a few times before in the elimination diets over the years but somehow this time feels different). I now possibly have an auto immune disease but they don’t know which one just yet (more tests) --I do think that gluten and sugary stuff aggregate my symptoms (my self diagnosis)- i do allow myself a small amount of sugar daily since i gave up alcohol so not totally sugar free but trying the damn gluten free diet again.
OK - so i’m going to make a late dinner once i can get up and get some work done while watching something funny – hope everyone has a wonderful sober Tuesday - sending much love!
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That’s great that you can see that drinking will only make things worse for you even during very difficult times… that shows that you’re gaining some serious sobriety muscles 
. I’m sorry that things are not going as you would like with your husband.
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Hope ya feel better after a good night’s sleep
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