Enjoying my new weekend morning routine at Starbucks. Still cheaper than drinking, but not much 
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Checking in
Day 489
Didnt sleep well last night again. Wasnt a using dream this time but was an awful dream none the less.
I work today and on my way to work i walked past this huge puddle that had tons of pine needles floating in it. I know this may seem super insignificant, and honestly if i wasnt paying attention i wouldnt have noticed either. But i noticed it and it triggered a memory of my childhood. Playing outside in the spring weather when everything had melted and left huge puddles on the ground with floating pine needles in them from the pine trees. It actually made me cry bcuz i could see little Dana before everything bad happened. But then i came back to the present and i had this overwhelming sense of motivation to keep on this path of recovery and to keep moving forward in all areas of my life. I actually felt very proud to be where i am. To truly be a survivor and overcome what i have overcome. Im proud of me! And i dont often feel this. I normally am so hard on myself and am constantly seeing what i am doing wrong. That puddle of pine needles was really impactful this morning lol
Anyway, im off to work filled with gratitude. Hope everyone has an addiction free day
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WOW!!! this was such a beautiful read and so happy to see you being proud of yourself. Loads of happy uplifting hugs my friend. our higher power never ceases to amaze me - love that you noticed the puddle with pine needles today!
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@cueball8n9 have a great weekend ā love your traveling companions.
@Scorpn thanks love ā everything is manageable today. Keep putting off this nap but need to do soon as itās getting harder to keep my eyes open :wink
@2jtravnz I do hope you enjoy your time away. Beautiful pics!! So sorry to hear about your loss.
@sabrina80 Iām sorry that pesky headache came backā¦ I do hope it finds its way to oblivion soon. Get some rest love- hope your mood stays great today
@juli1 you are a superwoman!!! Even heroās need to take a breather and regain strength. Right now you are using your strength to fight the addiction and heal your body! 
Checking in on Saturday morning
Much love my sober friends. I am so incredibly proud of us all. Day 1 or 30 or 1000 + we are all doing so great living life on lifeās terms. So amazing how weāve all found this site for love and support and are here for each other (in some ways more so than Iāve ever received in real life). I love the honesty and transparency! We are our true selves here ā giving it our all to truly heal and beat our addictions. I am sober today and just dealing with lifeās terms in the best way I know how ā with a clear and positive mind. Sending much love ā have a fantastic Saturday 
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Checking in sober day 68 was at a meeting today went well just relaxing watching the football way go to the gym later hope everyone is well
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Evening check in.
Chilling day with my boyfriend. We were cooking spaghetti and tried as well pancakes, but I fucked up them litterally. I forgot to add eggs there. 
Otherwise then that we were watching as well one serial, called Chicago Fire. I really like that serial, it turns off my brain. It was nice to cuddling with him, watching serial and hear rain. 
(tw animal death!) Only thing which actually makes me anxious and sad is dead pingeon which I saw. I was holding in myself tears when I saw it and my boyfriend tightly hugged me to calm me down. 
I wanted a lot to hold pingeon and put him in grass because he was in upstairs actually, but I didnāt because of I didnāt have handkerchief. So yeah, he stayed there. I will tommorow bring handkerchief so I can hold him and put on grass. He deserves place to rest in peace. When comes to animal death Iām very sad and anxious, because from childhood I really love animals and take care of them and itās so sad to look how they die. So yeah. 
But I have now tiramisu, which makes me smile, so yay! 
I hope everyone are okay. 
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@Butterflymoonwoman what you shared is so amazing and beautiful. I donāt really have the right words but reading what you wrote made my heart swell. You absolutely have so much to be proud of. 
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11 days AF. Day started out really good - did all my morning recovery activities and shared in a meeting which was hard but led to some new connections. Where things went wrong is when I went to lunch with my wife. She was in a negative mood complaining about how long it was taking the food to come. Then I was looking at some cabins sheād found on Airbnb (planning a trip for my 40th bday in November). One of the listings said there could be some construction noise. Where we lived before was right next to a huge construction site where they worked 6 days a week 12 hours a day and it was miserable. I donāt even want to risk that so I pointed it out and she seemed annoyed about that. Then she teased me for not being able to find a link on the site. Then I asked her to join me tomorrow when I call my parents on Fatherās Day. I have a very difficult relationship with my parents and they have treated me really badly in the past. I just wanted her there with me and she was like no I donāt want to do that. Well that ticked me off - after all the ways Iāve supported her with her family and her momās health issues. So I got pissed and she tried to apologize but my mood was ruined and we just ate the rest of the meal in silence.
I donāt understand why she was such a you-know-what hole. I hate fighting with her - itās very destabilizing for me because sheās like the main part of my support network and my only real family. Us fighting is a huge drinking trigger for me. I called my sponsor and told her we got into a fight and she didnāt ask me any follow up questions or give me any advice (maybe I had to ask more directly). I was really surprised about that. So I got off the phone with her feeling very lost and disappointed. Iām feeling very unstable and lonely now which is really bad. Iām going to a bookstore to calm down but Iām afraid Iām going to start crying in the middle of the store.
Sorry for ramblingā¦. I really want things to get better but I donāt know. This really sucks.
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HECK YEAH ā double air punch!
congrats on your awesome 4 digits!
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That is awesome!!!
Congrats on quadruple digits!!
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Thanks for rambling. I feel your honesty and frustration. Wish you the best on your phone call to father. Triggers come but if we stay focused ever moment on recovery (a better way of living) joy and happiness can be found each day.
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Thank you, this is dead on. And since I didnāt drink over it, I was able to process my emotions and realize I did overreact. I saw that it triggered me because my momās personality could change very quickly and it was scary. My wife is actually a wonderful and supportive person. Sheās exhausted too supporting me during recovery and taking care of her mom. And as for my sponsor, sheās human, maybe she didnāt hear me, maybe sheās too tired or distracted, itās ok! Iām still building a good support network and am much better off than I was before.
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207 
chilling still watching fairy tail
Pain on one a bit
Happy sober Sunday everyone
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Checking in sober. Travel did not go smoothly, but I made it finally to my Momās 3 hours later than planned. Had a great fish dinner. Now early to bed. I think I actually coped with the stress today fairly well. A few rants here and to my sisters, but I remained friendly with the workers who were doing the best they could. And I stayed sober. And so thankful I wasnāt hungover today!
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@cjp follow up from sober legs thread 
Yes itll be a better cheaper experience and you wont have the foot off the bed type of night.
Itll be a night you will remember
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This is my first concert sober. Drinking everywhere im not in danger just idk cant place the offness. Once the music starts ill be better
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Can totally understand that - especially if everyone around you is drinkingā¦
Youve got us to keep u company till the music starts
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