Happy birthday 
, Dan. Thank you for being here and giving support generously.
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16 days AF. So relieved to have seen the psychiatrist and get started on a mood stabilizer. I was so proud to tell her Iām in recovery. Shared a little in a meeting this morning which is always scary but Iām glad I did. Felt really overwhelmed at work and told my manager who made me feel shitty by comparing my workload to another departmentās. Well, I am one person, and the projects I have are different and not like the other ones, and I feel how I feel, maybe itās not the right role or environment for me. Still not sure what to do with it - do I risk giving notice or keep trying to push through so that Iām not introducing another huge change in my life. Iām going to keep meditating and asking the universe for guidance.
@Sabrina80 iām on the hormonal roller coaster with you my friend - weāll get through this!
@JazzyS wow that is so beautiful about your plant!!! I feel like the brown stem in the water slowly making it back to life 
Wishing everyone peace and relief and strength 
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Congratulations on your days and happy birthday!! So great knowing you here, 
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Yeah! Thatās great news, Iām so happy for you 
Well done 
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Atta boy Dan.
Happy 45th.
Great job on the 1335 ODAATās
And many more.
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Thank u for ur support friend 
noā¦ nothing yet for nurses for those 2 nights. Theres still a bit of time left so im hoping 
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Happy birthday!!!
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Happy birthday Dan 
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12am check in 
630 days still going.
The past few days or weeks really Iv not been as active as usual. Apologies for this but please know I do read daily so if Iām needed donāt hesitate to reach out.
The past few days have been ā¦ wellā¦ learning to let go and go with the flow.
Without writing a story il try to make it short.
I did my garden up the other day so Iād have a safe space to spend summer for many reasons, sobriety being one of them.
Approx a week ago all gas was turnt off due to suspected carbon monoxide leak- it was all ok despite days of no gas or hot water.
The week before approx, electrics were off for a fault.
I woke up this morning to gardenerās chopping down the massive huge tree in my garden.
I had to move everything that I had made lovely, things were ruined by accident and my anxiety of going out there and having privacy I was just managing after my redocoration had made it a private space.
Well the tree is gone, it needed to go it was causing structural damage. I just wasnāt expecting it to be today just out of the blue.
I also have to move out my home for a few weeks soon whilst damp works are done. I also found this out today.
Thoughts of what is the point and all that comes with those thoughts.
Then the realisation that actually once all this stuff is done, maybe my depression might not be so bad. Life will be better as these things have needed sorting for a while.
I am going to manage, I can adapt to unexpected changes, I can re do the garden, the house will be free of damp. If I expect to be settled back down by the end of the year and be accepting that itās going to be rough some days, moving temporary etcā¦ but it is going to be okay.
I guess if I look on the bright side the garden will get more sun 
and my saying of all the little things make the big things happen - well at least I have been productive and now the big things are happening 
Breathe, Iād rather go through all of this and get it sorted than live another year trying to sort it out and living in depressing conditions.
Itās all good news really, just tough I guess dealing with it all by myself. But I am strong, I am capable and Il get through this, itās ok thatās itās going to be hard and I may cry or get frustrated but at least Iām not crying and frustrated because nothing is changing.
Sorry had to get it out. Itās 12am and I have to be up early to collect a shovel to save some plants Iād been growing for years, my palms, as the gardenerās are back tomorrow and I will save what I can.
Hope everyone is doing ok. Big hugs 
and thinking of you all 
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Happy birthday 
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Checking in
Day 494
Today has been a total self care kind of day. My mom has been busy with her conference so i had the day to myself. I got my son on the bus for school and then had to do a zoom mtg for an hour. Decided to exercise (havent worked out in 2 days) so my workout was a bit tough. But did some running and completed my Conqueror virtual challenge by doing that! Excited for the medal to arrive. Took myself for lunch and then came home and slept for 2 hours. Felt weird to sleep during the day but i guess i needed it. I have already felt my new medication begin to work. I still feel anxious but not nearly as badly. Sort of feels like my anxiety has been āmutedā. So hopefully it continues to work. Other than all this, i did some cleaning and played a board game with my son. Just waiting for my mom to stop by for a quick visit and for hubby to get home from work. Thats about it. Hope everyone is having a good addiction free day!
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This is good for you ?
Iām a little unsure but remember you posting about your back weight before, and since then it made me worried about you.
Iām pleased to hear this. I hope it goes okay for you, and try not to think about it. Itās going to help you
big hugs and healing energy.
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Yeahā¦A lot of truth there sirā¦
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Checking in sober. Still havenāt heard back about possible new job. Hopefully tomorrow. My friend whoās been staying with me (for free) finally moved out today. I have mixed feelings about that, but hoping it brings some peace. I suck at boundaries. I missed my therapy appointment today because I got a migraine with aura and didnāt want to drive like that. At least thatās a bit better after medication. Itāll be an early night.
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You have more than earned the right to feel betterā¦
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Holy smokes friend.
That is quite a lot of shit going on for ya. It sounds like you got the priorities sorted out in your head. The first things first stuff. And what to let go. That doesnāt make it any less stressful though. Iām glad you got around to checking in and getting it all out here for us to read. And you too know we are here for ya. You are always too kind and helpful around here. I hope the hard stuff gets sorted out soon. And I love the way you look at the bright side of it all.
Big hugs friend.
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Thank you
Itās just alot of annoying things all at once, easier to deal with sober I do know that much!
I guess planning to get a shovel and deal with it head on being my first natural instinct is a good sign, Iām dealing with life and not running away from it.
1am I better try to sleep.
I will be back tomorrow after dinner as I always look forward to catching up here, hit up the gratitude thread.
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Happy birthday man!! Keep crushing it 
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@brian1965uk Scotland for the week sounds like a great time ā have you gone before or your first time?
@Dan531 hope you enjoyed your birthday today ā so great to know that our celebrations with on going sobriety get better and easier to navigate. 4 years of sober bdays is awesome!
@catmama23 glad you were able to talk to your manager about your work frustrations ā I do hope that this helps create a healthier work environment for you. Yes love ā you are just like the plant coming back to life ā just need love and nourishment
@Twizzlers so good to hear from you. Iām sorry that you have so much going on all at once. I know its all needed but feel your stress as it is all happening now. I do hope you get to salvage some of your plantās tomorrow. Wishing you the best in breathing through this. Itās good to get it out ā we are here for you! Hope you had a good nightās rest.
@karenkw yeah to having your space back to yourself. It will be truly healing Iām sure. Sorry about the migraine and having to miss your appointment ā I do hope you are feeling better after a nightās rest.
Checking in Thursday evening
183 days alcohol and weed free
598 days cigarette free
Not the best day as I have been dealing more with pain and itching and just frustrations all while trying to stay positive and know that this will not last. I am not meditating as much as I should so I know I need to focus on this more to help me through this time. Itās all good - just finished watching some Ted Lasso episodes and been on the jokes, meme and riddle threads to keep me busy and my mind occupied. Wishing everyone a wonderful evening - sending much love!
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