Hey all, checking in on day 1,103. I hope everybody has a good one!
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1 week down. Monday was my birthday and my first sober one at that in 15 years (33 yes old). Proud of myself for pushing through.
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Day 1,105 clean and sober today. I had a video appointment with a psychiatrist yesterday and he was really nice. He is trying a different medication for my insomnia which will also help with anxiety, I really hope it works. The antidepressant medication is really starting to work now and I am going to be joining a grief support group to start working through that as well. I find myself feeling better but then feeling bad about feeling better because I feel that I shouldnāt if that makes sense. He said that itās completely normal and that people who have had a lot of losses like mine go through that. Whew itās a lot. Have an amazing day today everyone I love you guys 
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Day 29. Not sure how that is when my sober date it the 24th I even have it as the 24th on here and it still says today is 29 days. So thats exciting that tomorrow will be a month. I got accepted into mhab, still having mixed emotions about it, it is depending on if my county will pay the rent there, if not then I wonāt be able to get it. Unless of course I get a job which yes then Iāll do, but if Iām going to do school I really would like to be able to focus on just school, I donāt want to put to much on my plate, or maybe this is just me being lazy and not wanting to work idk. I donāt think thatās the case. I just want to stay sober and be the best person I can. Groups today have gone good so far, helping a friend out and changing the tire on his bike for him. Deadlifts today at the gym my absolute most favorite exercise canāt effing wait buddy. Much love everyone
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Evening check in.
From nowhere I start to feel a lot shitty. I donāt know why and how it startedā¦ I have a lot of feelings and thoughts but I donāt know how to properly tell them.
I should be happy, because life seems better a bit, butā¦ Iām not? I donāt feel like thatā¦ Iām really grateful for every positive moment, thatās true, but Iām not happyā¦
Maybe itās just a lot of for me nowā¦
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212 
having my feeding tube fitted Monday dreading it but long overdue tbh
Happy sober Thursday everyone
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Checkin on day 135
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Second check in
I calmed down a bit, but the job situation still is not easy for me.
Maybe everything appears much worse now as I am in my sad- or depressed state shortly before my period.
So Iāll wait to see how that feels in some weeks. Until then: breathe, be good to me, workout, eat good, sleep enough.
Tomorrow wonāt be an easy day but I try not to freak out now about something thatās in the future. I canāt change it anyway.
Only 2 more weeks and then: 3 weeks off!
I wonāt travel tho, everything became so expensive that Iām not able to. Iāll have a good time anyway 
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Day 
4
Courage to Keep Going
Be courageous by standing up for what you believe in today, whether that be you setting a boundary or telling your boss about an idea you have. Practicing courage can be scary, but it is also rewarding.
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I was preparing to write other things, but strange coincide happened.
Today after work went to Church to Pray and for Confession. Priest asked very strange repentance; yet interesting. He asked how would you want to repent; whatās goes first on your mind? - Fasting I said. Ok, then, when? Friday, Saturday, Sunā¦ Friday will be fine I saidā¦
So Priest said only drink water, tea, coffee and eat some bread.
And just going outside I realaised that fits perfectly that Fourth Principle of 12 Spiritual Principles of Recovery and Growth.
Tomorrow - only water, tea, few slices of bread and Prayers.
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@cueball8n9 sorry about your back ā feeling any better? I love the suggestion by @J_lo_ste I also use acupressure in my hands and feet to relieve pain and other symptoms. I do hope it works for you as well.
@butterflymoonwoman I am so grateful that the addiction demon did not suck you in through another portal. Any word from the health care providers on a different nurse?
@icebear best of luck with your family reunion ā just remember to find your safe place to escape to if the need should arise.
@sabrina80 so sorry to hear about your waste of time training session. Even worse that you are so short staffed and being worked to the bone. I know here it was hard before but ever since the pandemic itās so much harder to find anyone to work. Are you guys experiencing this as well. Your workplace should know that they will loose some good workers if they keep up at this pace.
@Catmancam thank you friend! The only thing I can think of is that I donāt have 24 hours of acid reflux (this has died down significantly and allowed me to eat a few spicy dishes lately without pain). I am looking forward to more good days. Hope everything went well with your dental appointment and fingers crossed that the one person does not cause any issues in your online course this evening.
@amy30 Oh I do hope your therapy appointment helped you ā so sorry about whatever caused you to go into a emotional spiral. Am super proud of you for staying sober through it all and showing off your strength. We are all here for you if you want to vent about the issue (that is if it still has a hold on you ā donāt want you to rehash something youāve possibly already worked at in therapy)
@artmama A huge congrats on your 4 months 
@deelzebub good to see you back and so glad that your GP is so amazing and helpful. SO glad that you were able to reach out and ask for help. Hoping that everything goes well tomorrow with your psychiatric nurse
Rob 11 so sorry about your HR meeting ā sending you hugs my friendā¦ 
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Day 255
At work, hungry and feeling like thereās so much to do and not enough time. But just trucking along as best I can
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@dee19 A very happy birthday my friend and congrats to your 1 week down.
@rockstar24777 so glad that your antidepressant meds are working ā I do understand your feelings but you do deserve to feel happy and loved and all that jazz. You have been in this grief-stricken bubble for so long my friend ā itās time to love and experience life. Wishing you the absolute best with you insomnia meds ā I do hope that you start getting good solid nights of rest soon.
@anon53116147 OOH 30 days tomorrow ā that is exciting!!! CONGRATS on your mhab acceptance. Whatever you decide at least now you have this option available. The word lazy does not come to mind ā you are far from lazy. You have a lot to sort through and Iām sure you will come up with the best solution for yourself and at the same time protecting your sobriety.
@nastya_is_fighting I do think sometimes are addict brain creates crappy feelings inside of us when we are doing so well. I wholeheartedly believe this and this is when we have to push deep and not let the negative energy win. You are strong and full of life ā send the negativity packing!
@scorpn hey I do hope that you get to take a break and eat something soon (you have been working long shifts). Try not to think of all that needs to get done (when you get a minute write it down and then prioritize it so that it hopefully will not seem too overwhelming).
Checking in on Thursday afternoon
Itās been an interesting day but I am determined to keep positive and not get sucked into the abyss.
Our creeper plant was dying near the ends so we trimmed off dying ends and soaked them in a jar (the stems were mostly brown) - well after 2 ish months - i see leaves starting to sprout and the stems are starting to all turn greenā¦ I am in AWE ā if this can happen then I can also heal and sprout a new. So much love to you allā¦
Funny how i usually stay in the basement and today i decided to write from the kitchen table where I could witness this miracle.
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Day 2,058.
Sobriety is not some big mystery or puzzle and alcohol isnāt some mythical creature hiding in the shadows wailing to get you.
Us alcoholics and addicts love to be dramatic and make shit complicated. In the end though itās simple. You do the work, you get the results.
I have never seen a person fail who has thoroughly committed themselves to their sobriety, no matter which program they work.
Iāve seen people on this forum go through so much trauma and strife and remain sober the whole time. Those are the people you need to follow. They are out their crushing it despite all the bullshit.
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Checking in on day 1126. Hope you guys are doing good and enjoy the rest of your day/night where aver you are 
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Day 220
A run, lunch with the Mrs in town, walked the dog, fought off horse flies all day. Little swines!
Packing tomorrow and heading north to Scotland for a week on Saturdayā¦ 
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Checking in, just about to go to bed, just made Day 38.
Life is so busy at the moment, work is a bit crazy, but have also joined the gym with the family. Tonight we went swimming and it was so lovely. It is hard knowing how to navigate older children and I am hopeful this will help.
Sorry, too tired to respond to people individually but I am reading everything.
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Where abouts in Scotland? Have a great trip
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I love your posts 
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Yooooo I have 450 days baby!
And itās Friday!!!
Iāve got a lot to be grateful for today. I remember when I used to dread Fridays in my early sobriety because they were my days Iād drink a bunch of beer to celebrate getting through the work week, Iād blow all my money, feel super shitty all Saturday and guilty, eat like crap and do it again on sat night.
Tonight I have a cool outing planned with my kids and husband, tomorrow I will have a clear head to take a long walk with the dog and take my daughter swimming. And I wonāt spend a second of it suffering from a guilt ridden hang over.
Sobriety is freedom 
Have a great day friends xx
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My sporadic check in on day 1,335 which also happens to be my 45th birthday. This is my 4th sober birthday and how things have changed. My first sober birthday was hard but that was itā¦ each one after just got better and better. Itās like that for any annual thing that was associated with partying. So, if youāre new just know that all of those things get much easier and sobriety is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
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