Eyup fam, back from work. Finished late and up to my neck with my management’s disproportionate and unrealistic expectations for night staff, something will have to change, and will, gosh they’re so clueless. Just want to cook and eat something nice and substantial now, and maybe watch a movie or something before sleep. Or a brief guitar jam if I’m still in the mood, a nice mind relaxer…
Feeling better than before surprisingly, maybe the stress distracted me and made me more present and switched on against the odds haha. I never drink coffee but had 4 today too which I seemed to need
Tomorrow morning I’ll meditate for a good hour again for a change, and jog in the botanics in the afternoon.
I absolutely know what you are talking about, drugs take away the best parts of us and leave us stranded with depression and self-doubt, although we could be so much more!
You say that you are missing a purpose in life and I would say that this makes it hard for you to stay the better version of yourself. First, no one is here for a purpose, we are all born into this world without being asked. This might sound harsh, but that’s the way it is, so you don’t have to feel bad if you haven’t found your chosen purpose yet. Secondly, there are several ways to find something that would fulfill you: join an AA group to share your thoughts and find out how others found their ways and purposes; get involved in a charity or non-profit organisation and help others, if that is something you could imagine doing; do a trip to some place remote & outside of your comfort zone (e.g. camping), go for a hike and note down everything of importance on your way, think of ways how to achieve anything on your list. Regular activities would help you build a routine to stay sober, e.g. join a sports club, hiking group, game nights. If you feel that the urge to drink increases, talk to a close friend or find a sponsor that is there for you in those times. And come here regularly and celebrate with us your days of sobriety. Stay sober, friend, and we are here for you.
Work day done The weather is finally better (beautiful but not that hot). I’m hungry as hell, looking forward to a nice meal when home.
Besides that there is nothing to tell, all is good
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong
@pagan welcome friend – this is a fantastic community you have joined. I would hold off on work if you can (seems like you can) and focus on your recovery. The first few weeks are the absolute worst. Don’t apologize for ranting – this is where you need to come to at least once a day to let it out and stay accountable. I find being active here really does help with the recovery. It may be wise to start going to meetings now to help you get clean (rather than get clean and then go to meetings) – this is a hard path and not one we can do on our own. Sending you strength my friend – Great job in getting to day 2 – today’s main goal is just working on not giving in to your DOC’s for today. ODAAT! @alycia I do hope that going to the session helped. Try not to think about the future (who knows your current teen might actually help out with the younger sibling? You are already so strong but will be even mightier by then. Hope you have a warm sweet stress-free day! @alexwayill WAY TO GO – 6 months is huge…. So many fantastic things happening this year for you… keep making progress! @aegfletcher Welcome back Andrew and great job on starting your new life in sobriety. Seems you already know that leaving friends behind is not always because they were bad people but more to do with protecting your health and sobriety. I believe you have a great mindset already and working the addiction one day at a time you will be adding to your days of recovery. Good to see you here – hope you do check in often to maintain accountability! @vaariesga Wow Cliff – congrats on your 3 years of sobriety – WAY TO GO! I love seeing more an more people showing us this is possible. @1in8billion Wow – I feel the energy shift in your day. I am sorry it started off so gloomy but do know that no matter what – you are not alone. You have your virtual friends here and I do hope that you are working on yourself irl (going to meetings, getting therapy etc) . Are you able to sit down and make goals for yourself (nothing huge – make them manageable) SO that you can start each day with a purpose (not just going to work) – a purpose for self-improvement? Its awesome that you will be starting tomorrow off with a meditation and a jog – this will help you spiritually and physically – have a wonderful night my friend and do stay strong (this roller coaster will not last forever – just need to keep working on you and showing up for yourself). Lovely suggestions from @alexwayhill – I do hope you can find a way to incorporate some if not all into your lifestyle. @Butterflymoonwoman Just following up to see if you heard back from the health care people yet regarding overnight care? Hope you are doing well my friend – are you planning to go back to see your therapy specialist again? Glad that the meds are working - hope they continue to do so.
Checking in on Tuesday morning
So weird that these days I am spending so much time on me and really finding that I enjoy my own company (i can be super hilarious - well, that’s what the voices tell me ). JK - no voices — just trying to have fun with my healing process. I am working on recovery in every sense of the word and have decided to enjoy the hell out of it cause i may not see tomorrow (it’s just a harsh reality cause we do not know what the universe has planned for us) – i am not going to let this one day go by feeling bad for me … i have so much to be grateful for - most of all is that i am addiction free and tasting life in a whole new way! Here is to another incredible day my friends - I hope you are able to make it the absolute best day ever – sending much love
Hey girl, thank u for thinking of me Unfortunately i havent heard a thing about nursing for those 2 nights. It truly sucks for a variety of reasons but its better that i do the overnight shifts instead of a nurse that will most likely fall asleep on my son. I am going to try and get as much rest as i can during the day (since he will be at school) and try to prepare myself the best i can. The only issue i realized is that i wont be able to take my meds for 2 nights (because they make me groggy and very tired) so that im not happy about. But will do my best to take care of myself otherwise.
You will not believe to it…
Because guess who came to school party, when told million times they won’t? Right, me.
Do you remember that class with which I have fine relationships and was with them one week? They all managed to tell me why I should go. So I went. I was worrying honestly, but at the end (it doesn’t matter, ha, Linkin Park moment!) it was really good. We enjoyed time with each other.
Now I’m driving again to that little house, but with big thing on myself, which says “Absolvent 2023”. I’m really proud of myself I did it and I finished school.
(also yes I was drinking mostly cola because there was alcohol and I don’t want to ruin my soonish 9 months sober from alcohol. Also W moment for me.)
Checking in on day 3
Today was quite a good day, I woke up at 6:00 am, as usual… That’s when we have sunrise, and somehow I can’t sleep any longer lately. At 7:00 I was already on my morning 8K walk, which is actually the best time. After 9:00 am it gets too hot. Drinking has not been on my mind, but so has food… very annoying, trying to get rid of those (binge) thoughts! I went to the public pool we have in town, it was packed, but I had a nice time, reading my book. Finally I had a healthy chicken salad for dinner, so not too bad after all. Since I’m up since 6:00 am, and it 8:30 pm now, I’m almost ready for bed! Unfortunately the sun won’t go down until 9:30…
Man that sucks that you will have to be without the meds for that time period - possibly talk with your doctor about it to see if something can be done that won’t cause the groggyness?
Wishing you the best in this and do know you are in my thoughts – you are a tough ass momma and can do this - just want to make sure you find time for self care as well
@JazzyS thank you 🩵 our addict minds are sneaky, so glad you stopped the search for cigs, congrats to that @Coleman21979 congrats on 2 months @Fury sorry about the worst date ever, but congrats on 3 years @SoberMedic sorry about the work stress, but congrats on 30 days @Timetochange welcome back congrats on 2 days @Mno stunning sunset photo sorry about the bites, hope you found something to soothe them. @TheWolf congrats on 50 days @HolySquid I hope you’re feeling better today 🩵 @Complicatedmama I’m so glad you’ve got your family for support, I’m sorry for what you’ve had to give up though 🩵 but congrats on 2000 days @Pagan welcome congrats on 2 days
1051 days no alcohol.
516 days no cocaine.
31 days no vape.
5 days no binge-eating.
2 weeks no nicotine patches too. Somehow.
Finished completing my form and posted it yesterday. Glad that’s over with.
Course finished an hour early yesterday, so the bus home was much better.
I slept on and off for 21 hours! Still feel so tired. I’ve got 2 back-to-back, in-person courses tomorrow, starting at 10am-15:45, so I need to be awake early, to do my morning routine, shower, and be at the bus stop before 9am. I hope I don’t oversleep!
I’ve just managed to do my lake walk, for the first time in a few days, so that felt good.
Checking in 455 days.
I went to the counselling session, it was fine. I didn’t need to stress. I’m really looking forward to keeping these up in the long term. I can already see the benefit for having someone to bounce my ideas and thoughts off of. She is a keeper, I’m so happy I’ve found her!
Other than that, getting ready to head into the city for work today. Should be a good day. No urges at all to drink lately which is such a relief.
I hope you all have a wonderful day/night x
The weather is finally better (beautiful but not that hot). I’m hungry as hell, looking forward to a nice meal when home.
Unfortunately i havent heard a thing about nursing for those 2 nights. It truly sucks for a variety of reasons but its better that i do the overnight shifts instead of a nurse that will most likely fall asleep on my son. I am going to try and get as much rest as i can during the day (since he will be at school) and try to prepare myself the best i can. The only issue i realized is that i wont be able to take my meds for 2 nights (because they make me groggy and very tired) so that im not happy about. But will do my best to take care of myself otherwise.
I can’t stay away from it 
I went to the public pool we have in town, it was packed, but I had a nice time, reading my book. Finally I had a healthy chicken salad for dinner, so not too bad after all. Since I’m up since 6:00 am, and it 8:30 pm now, I’m almost ready for bed! 
sorry about the bites, hope you found something to soothe them.
