Grateful that you didnt crack today. Grateful that you are focused on adding days to your timer.
Day 1 was a bitch and youve come so far love! You have been remarkable in getting through these 300 days. Keep showing up for yourself- you are worth it 
For sure! Iāve found on here, youāre NEVER alone!! When my daughter used to go to her dadās it was āmy timeā and it was filled binge drinking until she came back but now itās so different. The last weeks I was wrestling with guilt and depression. Since itās passing, now Iām getting bored 
lol canāt win!! But, I have zero regrets on this decision 
I get thatā¦i feel lost sometimes when my daughter isnt aroundā¦your time is still your time without the boozeā¦do some self care lady and enjoy itā¦itl bolster your self esteemā¦if u cant think of anything to do after that do some work on your sobrietyā¦set yourself a challenge to do that happy list and try and incorporate as much from that list into your day as possible
Iāll for sure try it, and will try to get some meditation down. Iāve heard it really helps with grounding especially with boredom or cravings. Itās all so new, so fast. But, Iām feeling muchhh more optimistic than 27 days ago 
Your doing great things, it doesnt have to be expensive or big thingsā¦6 things that are on my happy list after my daughterā¦driving calms meā¦singingā¦silver jewelleryā¦animalsā¦musicā¦ foodā¦so i drove to the next town with some fave music on and sang to it, checked out the little cuties in the pet storeā¦went to the jewellery store (just cheap stuff) stared at it and tried some on then came home and ordered a fave take awayā¦simple but lovely 
That sounds amazing 
okay, I like that idea alot!!
Day 9
I made it to day 9? Ok wow.
I talked a lot and wrote with some familiar people about āhimā. yesterdayā¦ The guy who is constantly disappointing me, making me sad, giving me only place in this little little frame of his lifeā¦ Or as every single person said yesterday, is manipulating me and absolutely toxic.
I came to the end to quit. I am not good in that but I have to. We had fun with my favorite hobby but I have to. Have to protect myself, my soul, heart and sobriety. This little toxy shitty arrangement is making me sick and behave against my inner values.
His very charming outer shell is just a camouflage for its empty cold soul. The many compliments are nothing but the drugs he gives me. Lovebombing, future faking and then back to this little little frame. The red flags are big and unmissable. I will restart my toxic relationship counter. Keep on doing the work on my codependency and love addiction.
Stay strong 
this is the type of things i do on the days i dont have Sofiaā¦right im boredā¦ok check out the happy list on my phone and go do as many as possibleā¦i never have alot of money so sometimes its difficult but the list is a good point to start from xx
I havenāt been in this thread for a long time.
This is my first sober summer. Ever. (Well, since 2000). Itās great not to be hungover and sleep the days away. Except I work most in the summer so I still feel like Iām missing out.
Last night finished the biggest weekend of the year where I work. Anyone who golfs has probably heard of an Invitational. 3 days of golf and drinking. And 3 days of hell for the employees. I worked noon to 3am, having only 2 ten minute breaks. First one in 8 years I didnāt drink and I made it through just fine.
After the big dinner, once the real party started, I went downstairs and just thought āthe only reason this looks so fun is because everyone is hammered.ā Sticking around and mingling didnāt interest me at all. Even though I couldāve made a lot more money by doing so. Iām glad itās over anyway.
Iām up late tonight bc I didnāt go to sleep til 4 last night, but I think now is the time. Iāll try to keep checking in here. Goodnight everyone 
Checking in on Day 1 (yet again 
) I had 45 Days under the belt and have had to reset twice since. Definitely need to start using this app more often.
Day 618
Iāve not checked in for a few days, itās been pretty damn emotional this last week. On Thursday it is a year since my mum passed away so Iām feeling all the pain and grief again. My mother in law is in hospital and is not in a good way so naturally that only makes things worse and my wife is ill and canāt go see her in hospital so thatās not helping.
To top it all off. If it wasnāt for bad luck at the minute I would have no luck at all. Having a shower at 5am before I got ready for work then headed downstairs after I got dressed to start being dropped on through the ceiling, back upstairs to check under the shower base and find the pipe to the fall pipe has disconnected so all the water I used in the shower has flooded through the floor and wall cavity. Was perfectly fine yesterday, I showered after the gym, my wife showered later in the evening too and there was no issue at all so how it all of a sudden disconnected I canāt fathom. Especially as it disconnected from both sides. (It is under the shower floor and the access panel is screwed in place and sealed to the floor)
On a plus side itās the last week of prep for the tournament, all going well, feeling good, really good to be honest. The important thing for me is I feel confident, I used to get nervous before tournaments when I was younger but as a defending champion the weight of expectation is youāll will win, as Iāve not competed in so long I am seeing this as I have nothing to lose so itās quite a liberating feeling.
Gonna keep concentrating on the positives, if they happen! 
Sending love and strength to you all!
Donāt beat yourself up over it, in the previous 45 days you developed some tools to help you through, now you still have them at your disposal so use them to get through the next period.
Resetting the clock doesnāt mean you have lost those 45 days of sobriety, you still have those sober days behind you. Itās not about starting again because youāre never back to day 0 with what you have learned and what you have gained from your previous sober times. The clock for the current period since you last used your DOC is the only thing that resets.
Life will knock you down but getting up and getting back to it is the biggest and hardest step, youāve taken that so well done, keep it going and remember you only lose when you give up trying.
So good to read you checking in again girl.
Just thought about making a āyou are missedā post but then I saw your healthier chocolates treats on Foodies 
This test sounds interesting. I will google and try this later. Fuck that guy who did that to you years ago. I know itās hard and I carry my wounds too. But honestly, mostly it has more to do with the other person then with us.
As you can c in my post above I have a current issue too. But we have to be strong. Fill our own cups of love first.
Thank you so much. You are right - definitely need to try to look at it that way, so thank you 
1521
Had dinner with me sister after and talked family history. Iām very busy with my early life in therapy atm, I re-found a diary from my mum I am reading now, and I put in a request to see the security file on my dad, who was a communist earlier in his life, and thus was deemed a security risk and followed by the Dutch secret service for years. Curious to see what I find there.
When I was still using I would have done this stealthily, secretly. Like I did most things in life. Now I am learning to share, to look for connection. Weāre in this together and that goes much further than just as addicts. The opposite of addiction is connection.
Now I shared with my sis and sheās happy I did. The relationship between her and me is improving. As kids we felt both so isolated and alone that we never really formed a bond. I feel we are now. One day at a time. Itās making my life better slowly but steady.
Sobriety is a gift that keeps on giving just as long we work it. Have as good a week as you all can friends. Love.
@Scorpn Huge congrats on 301 days friend!
@BJonns This place is so great for accountability, for sharing, for support, for wisdom. For togethernes. Glad to see you here. All success.
Checking in sober. I think sugar is making me feel hungover in the mornings. I had a bit too much over the weekend. So, Iāll be skipping the ice cream and biccies this week. 
Thatās a lot going on. What is your sport? Iāve heard you talk alot about training and getting ready but not sure what is the sport.
Day 12. I am currently on a little family trip. Usually I would be knee deep in beer all weekend but not this time. And it has been probably the best weekend weāve had here after a few years of coming.
I have noted this phenomenon in the past. You actually enjoy these things more sober than you do when drinking. Itās just that little voicing your head saying āhave a couple of beers, youāll enjoy it moreā itās a lieā¦ I know this, and I need to control it. Maybe if I do that enough times Iāll quell that little voice for good?
Iām doing good now. Anxiety is still under control and Iām feeding my brain endorphins when I can through exercise. My diet needs some attention though and I will work on that this week.
Enjoying reading posts on here. The good, the bad and the ugly. It shows Iām not alone in this thing.
Much love to all. Letās go for another 24.
They do get so much better. I quitna 20 a day habit over a decade ago. I can hand on heart say I never, ever think about smoking anymore and havent for years.
Six days down feeling very positive. Need to get a hand on my sugar intake but thats a worry for another day.
