@JazzyS thank you for all your inmense support. Today I reached two weeks
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You are most welcome Thomas- what an amazing achievement- keep up with your practices- you can and will kickbthis addictions ass 
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2 months, 14 days. The āself-pity scrambleā has been running around my mind this weekend: āI have to do / should have done this and this and this and this and this and this and this
and this and this
and this and thisā¦ā
ad nauseam.
Itās frantic, itās like my mind tied itself up in this āI have to do and be everything or I am nothingā idea. Itās paralyzing.
Iām taking some time to meditate, then getting started on my day. One task at a time. Thatās what is possible. Thatās what is helpful. The next helpful, constructive thing.
Take care all. You are good people and you belong. 
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I understand that would be very uncomfortable. Dryln, with all due respect, you have bigger fishes to fry. Alcoholism will end you if this continues. How are you doing today?
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@icebear How are you feeling today? Lowering meds and caffeine can cause havoc but knowing the effects can make it easier to deal with ā hope you are able to get it sorted. Yeah to improvement in blood pressure.
@DryIn785 I do hope you are doing better today. Sorry that your home (safe space) was violated. Glad nothing of value is missing. I do hope that you are able to find the safe feeling again (I know that can take some time). Mainly hope that you are able to stick to your sobriety so that you can start getting healthier in all aspects.
@Nytefyre Thank you so much for sharing your story. Donāt apologize for letting out your feelings. That is what this space is for. So grateful that you do have such an amazing neighbor / friend. Wishing you the absolute best on your journey ā none of us can do this alone and need all the support we can manage to find.
@mischa84 yeah to your double digits my friend. You are correct -most important is that you stayed sober. You are still early in your sobriety and doing all the right things ā keep doing what you are doing and soon your energy levels will be up to where you can get back to jogging regularly. I often overeat when I am on holiday. I wouldnāt be too hard on yourself.
@mno wow that is impressive ā Iāve never seen such a massive bike rack unless at the store where they are being sold (lol). I love how so many are utilizing bikes as an alternative to driving.
@crystalclear I am trying to be in bed by that time but these days I seem to still be up. I will message you if I am up at that time to check in on you. Iām sure youāve already tried this but - are you able to keep healthier snack options available so that when you do feel like binging itās on 0 to low calorie foods? Are you attending any ED meetings? It is scary when you canāt get a handle on an addiction when your mind and body desperately need it ā I know you have the strength in you to overcome this. Glad to see you reaching out for support.
@matt Iām so sorry for the round about you have going with your mind ā I do hope that you are able to sort through the cycle of lies ā You are far from Nothing. These thoughts can be self-destructive and like you said paralyzing. I do hope the meditation helped ā are you able to practice positive affirmations? Reciting these helps my mental state immensely. @1in8billion just posted last night a list of amazing affirmations ā maybe give that a try?
Checking in on Monday morning - ooh about to be afternoon 
Itās been a busy start but a good day so far - i am moving about and trying to stay out of my negative head space. Deep breathes and good coffee are helping tremendously
I wish a wonderful addiction free day to all of you - sending much love 
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Day 12. Started walking again. Trying to do 10k steps a day. Managed to meet the goal yesterday and today, but energy levels are low. Wanted to do a bit of gardening but didnāt feel up to it. Slept for most of the day. Woke up very irritated and anxious, so went for a long evening walk. The walk helped a lot. Feeling much better now.
@Cjp I started exercising as you suggested. Baby steps. Just walking for now. Trying to do 10k steps. Managed to meet the goal yesterday and today. Once I feel a bit more energetic, Iāll start home workouts.
@SoberMedic Drinking tea in a whisky glass is just my 
to booze 
@Butterflymoonwoman @CATMANCAM @Mno Thanks for the support. Double digits means a lot to me. The past few days have been VERY rough. It feels good to be able to share this achievement. I donāt have anyone else to share it with, except maybe for my wife.
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Here I am. Wanted to check in with my community here. The weather is georgous, water is beautoful, kids are having a blast. It is very challenging with my nephew, particularly for my mom and husband. My husband is really trying, and just needs breaks but for my mom it is constant. This isnt just now, it has been this way since ly sister died but was very challenging for my husband when we moved nephew to our home. That challenge came from the fact wr were in an impossible situation - I know that. But i was hoping hetting some breaks, it woule change. Perhaps it will take more time. Find dealing with orher peoples emogions has been big part of my life since my sister died. It really has been a lot, and its so involved that its not as easy to take breaks from others or to separate myself. My mom does not handle stress well. I am having my own feeling about being in this beautoful place, that I came every year with my sister since she was 2ā¦and she is not with me now, all of these memories and I do believe that is what teiggers the small thought last night after evefyone wrnt to sleep that there is alcohol hereā¦i iust woke up feeling strange. I am happy to be with the kids and the kids are SO HAPPY, but my Aunt is the only other person who is as relaxed as I am and I just have toā¦breath. kiss each of my chuldren (my nephew is mine if I say my children on here i mean him too), write here, let it out, sit with the emotion and take the space and dont take anyones emptional state personally. I do feel for wvedyone in this situation, but a bit tired of having to ve emotionally up on my own or in the midst of so much stress constantly.
Anyway, its all okay. Trying to just be there for everyone, soak in the joy and speak to the part of me that wanted to dribk. Last night she said she just wanted to relax - just a few. And to be honest, i can do that and I know I can. But i dont want to. And its not a failure to have these thpughts in the beginninf, its justvpart of it. And as we do the work, it gets easier. I know this xo. Happy next 24 to you all. Xo.
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Day 4: no grazing
Day 20: no credit cards
Day 22: no iced coffee
Day 708: no pills
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Hello my Sober friends hope you are all doing fine.
I not much online on the forum anymore because I lowered my screentime massively and because Iāam so bussy in my new sober life.
Nevertheless I wanted to share the milestone I reached today. I thought it was impossible for me to reach this milestone after 10 years of struggling. But suddenly it is there and it feels amazing. I am so grateful that it finally happend and I will never forget where I came from and never take my sobriety for granted. Alcohol and drugs Never again! 
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Lol! You finally read it!
I think Iāve been recommending it to people for about 2 years now.
Anyways, I hope you found itās teachings helpful. After reading that, I read Allen Carrās books on smoking and alcohol. And it brought everything together for me. I recognized the lies and brainwashing that we all held onto. And dispelling those myths gave me a huge advantage in my decision to be sober from my DOC.
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This is amazing. Congratulations on one year Roland.
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Congratulations on your sobriety! One year is very impressive. Iām so proud of you! Keep up the amazing work!
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Yes Roland!!! Excellent work friend! Huge congratulations and thank you for sharing!!!
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Day 295 AF
Just checking in Team hope all is well wherever you are. Remember ODAAT amd take it easy on yourself.
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Day 177.
Ok. Thatās me. Iām ok. And thatās pretty fucking awesome.
The new gig is going well, Iām getting awesome feedback and the work is lots of fun. Going out of my confort zone and learning how to do new things isā¦ fun. My anxiety seems to have subsided for now, but it could just be that Iāve been too busy to be anxious. Instead of my usual mindless scrolling, Iāve been actually staying productive.
Iāve also been eating better. Iām trying not to fall back into calorie counting and all that fun shit, so for now I completely stopped snacking, unless itās fruit or yoghurt, stopped the chocolate/sweets, and mostly sticking to two healthy-ish meals per day. I am struggling with hitting my step goals butā¦ heatwave.
Soā¦ thatās all from me. I have nothing to moan about. Even leaving my beloved island wasnāt too painful, thatās probably because this time I actually got to enjoy my time there instead of permanently nursing a hangover while regretting not doing moreā¦
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Day 12. One day at a time.
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@Dmcg1987 congrats on 90 days 
@Cabshear welcome back 
@Leveller welcome back
@JazzyS thank you and congrats on 200 days
@Mischa84 congrats on double digits
@DryIn785 itās concerning that you canāt lock your home, can that be changed? Sorry about the intrusion, I can empathise with the violation you feel.
@Sabrina80 enjoy your 3 weeks off 
@Bomdhil congrats on 2 weeks
@ShadowFax congrats on your year 
1064 days no alcohol.
529 days no cocaine.
44 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Missed my Saturday and Sunday evening check-ins. Binged both days, including sugary stuff, so was sleeping a lot. I realise that seeing family is a doubled-edged sword for me, and is therefore a trigger, thatās what happened on Saturday after seeing my brother and his family, then on Sunday I wanted to watch a fictional program so I thought Iād be able to go into the shop Iād banned myself from, and only buy the healthier type crisps, I was wrong, I came out with yum yums and doughnuts and 2 bottles of full sugar coca-cola. I need to keep the ban in place. Even though I am having cravings and the bingeing voice is angry and loud, I do not have to act on it, so I have managed to catch myself today, and Iāve been busy with therapy and my diabetes annual review.
Therapy was tough, we were talking about sciency stuff about the drive-sooth-threat system, and what happens to it after prolonged trauma, and also the window of tolerance and what happens to that. Sometimes I just feel sad and hopeless like thereās no chance of getting better when I see stuff like this, but we are going to try to introduce compassion focused therapy next week, which the therapist said should start to enlargen the soothe part, with practice. So Iām already looking forward to next Mondayās session.
Iāve mentioned in some previous check-ins that I had to write my recovery story in a hope-focused way, Iād been putting it off since last Wednesdayās session, even when Iāve had time to do it. But my calendar reminded me I had planned to go to the cinema tomorrow, to finally see the film Iāve been wanting to see, so I told myself, if I could get my story written today, then I could go to the cinema, if not, then no. I got it done, I shared it with a friend and he said it was well-written and sounded very hopeful, so we shall see how it goes when I have to read it out. Iāve also got 2 songs to play to fill some time, because at the speed I talk, I definitely wonāt fill 10mins with what Iāve written.
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Hi there everyone, today has been a good day i think.
It was my first day back at work after sometime away and I did struggle at first but soon found my groove and ended up almost enjoying it.
Ive promised the dog a swim in the sea tomorrow before i start work so that should really chill me out and clear my head and send me to work in āI can do anything todayā mode.
Im still reading loads on here and catching up with all your posts.
Hope you all have a good day.
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