Okay … Day 1
I am not trying to stop anything… This counter is for my life
I feel I don’t have any goals in my life… every day is wasted for nothing
So 
I will try to keep on Inshaallah to make the best I can do for my day
I don’t want regret doing nothing while I have the ability and time to do some achievements
I’ve written a long post 
sorry
Enjoy ur day:hibiscus:
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Welcome, Keep coming back. This is a huge step and I’m proud of you.
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Thanks alot 
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@timetochange oh man that is rough – I’m sorry it was such a horrible process. I’m sorry friend – do hope that you are able to heal your relationship with your kids. Onwards and upwards indeed.
@anon53116147 I do hope you get the heart palpitations looked at just to get a peace of mind. Ah man Mike – I’m sorry to hear that. Is is possible to call DSS to see what the hold up is?
@SelfLove_42 well done on your 3 weeks! Sending you strength to stick with your daily plan so that you can push on through.
@luluonthebridge glad to see you checking in – grateful that you didn’t give into the thought to drink! For me --I would find it to be a blessing to be scared of drinking.
@catmancam congrats on getting your cat to groomers today with success and a huge congrats on your 10 minutes coloring in the lounge.
@rosacando Totally sucks that our bodies go through so much during our cycles. You have been dealing with a lot of stresses with the packing / moving and preparing to leave the rental on top of recent family get togethers – all this can cause our cycle time to be more strenuous. Hoping that this is what it is and not premenopausal. Hope you start feeling better soon.
@rainy7 it is not irrational at all. I know many have related quitting alcohol to leaving a friend. It is a toxic relationship that you are ending. One that had nothing to offer and only took took took to no end. Grateful that you do have your sober buddies to talk to. It may feel uncomfortable to begin with so you could start with your audio and video off until you feel well enough to participate. You are still very early in the journey so take baby steps and remember we can only deal with this odaat. Sending you strength my friend – you are doing great
@jwfletcher4792 I can understand the nervousness being that this is the first concert you will be attending sober. BUT – imagine being able to actually enjoy the event that you have paid for and remembering the moments. Coming home safely and waking up tomorrow without a hangover. Grateful that you are not worried about wanting to drink – I do hope you and your wife have a wonderful time! It’s so much better being social when you are sober. Watching others around me drink really hits home that I don’t ever want to be like that anymore.
Great job of 38 days – do you want to talk about whats going on? We are great listeners – may help talking it out here.
@nony Welcome to day 1 - keep showing up for you - you have the strength to beat your addictions. Make a list of small achievable goals for this week and lets make them happen (your sense of accomplishment will lift your spirits and keep you fighting for a healthier you).
Checking in on Wednesday evening
210 days alcohol and weed free
625 days cigarette free
I did manage to push through and get some work done but then had to sleep in order to stop the pain and insane itching. I have cried a lot today and that is super exhausting - so now I am now watching the adult Looney Toons show.
My first thought was to drink heavily and pass out today but that was replaced with WTF is that going to solve. ONE more day in the books. I feel great to say i am addiction free today. Have a wonderful day / evening everyone - sending much love
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Thanks
Really that’s what I am doing right now
I am writing today’s goals so may be by the end of the day I could achieve them 
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Just over being married, over feeling like I don’t belong or matter in my own life. Hearing my aunt is feeling the same way made it worse…
The best way to put it is this…
For so long, my spirit has felt like a light bulb that’s flickering because it’s burning out. I’ve had zero fight left and many nights while crying myself to sleep, I just prayed so hard to die. But that flicker is what saved me. One spark of hope… The filament that saved my soul.
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Oh Frances - I am so sorry that you are struggling so hard in your marriage. No way is it ok to be feeling this way on a daily basis or crying yourself to sleep or heaven forbid praying for death. You are doing great in getting sober for yourself.
Have you talked with your husband about this? Are you able to seek counseling (if that is something you would think could help). If not together - do you have a therapist to talk to alone?
Were you able to make it to your meeting today (keeping up with 90 in 90 goal)?
We are here for you my friend - keep that spark alive!
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Day 5 checking in, suffering with sleepless nights, still feeling positive though
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Sadly I did not that’s why I’m on here right now. I have to make appointments to talk with my therapist as well as actually see my doctor so I can get back on track. Back on my meds maybe change them idk. I’m trying to bring that spark back into a fire it’s just not there yet. Maybe tomorrow I can get to an actual meeting.
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Here is great - so much support and love here and i do hope that the threads and community have been helping you get some of your spark back.
Good goals to set - appointment with therapist, appointment with doctor, in person aa meeting…
What do you do for fun? Are you able to work out or do something to get boost your Endorphins? Possibly meditate - love this post but great stuff on the mediation thread – ways to meditate
Keep chatting here or engage in some of the “Fun” threads to lift your spirits. Going to get the joy of life - that spark burning brighter for you!
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The site as a whole has definitely helped a little. Along with my work bestie who knows what it’s like. Little by little my fire will burn brighter. Tomorrow is a new day and my hopes is to get back to my NA meeting.
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Checking in sober (day 3).
Dealing with so much right now. Talked to a friend today. Opened up more than I usually do. But still guarded.
OFDAAT
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Congratulations! Keep coming back. And even if it’s one second at a time you got this. We are here to help you.
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Is it an accumulation of things causing you to feel this way?
Is it acclimatisation to your marriage and it’s dynamics now that you are sober?
When I was in my early days I began questioning my value in my relationships and the relationships themselves, probably because I had spent a lot of time numbing feelings with alcohol.
What I would suggest is you evaluate over time how you are feeling in your relationship whilst you remain sober.
At the end of the day when you have evaluated everything and allowed time for you to acclimatise to your new sober feelings in your marriage if you decide you will be happier single then be brave enough to make that decision, however I would suggest firstly that you are open with your husband and you discuss your feelings etc, he may not know how you are now feeling with your new found sobriety and you may be able to work through things together, communication is such an important part of marriage.
Ultimately you need to do what is best for you and what makes you happy, you can’t be going through life feeling that you don’t matter in your own life. You are unique, you are priceless and don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise and don’t let your own thoughts and feelings make you feel otherwise either.
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Day 600
2am check in, half way through a night shift.
Feeling good, taking the chance to have 5 minutes to myself and catch up with a few of the posts and threads in here.
Hope everyone has a good day and I send you all love and strength.
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@CATMANCAM thank you! I’m feeling pretty good though still feeling the affects of the anesthesia
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Congratulations on 600 whole days of freedom! Exrremely proud of you Richard! Hope ur overnight shift is going well 
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You lost a skirmish, but you can still win the war.
21 days is great. You’ll be at a month in no time.
But I agree with you. I cannot control or manage my lust. I can only choose to say “No” to that first look or thought. If I don’t give myself permission to look at the females on YouTube or IRL, then I’m not going to lust. What am I missing out by choosing not to look? Less attraction towards my wife? Reinforcing my toxic shame? More craving? Heating up my brain drawing me close to relapse? I don’t need to look at them to know they’re beautiful. Truth is that I can see them better if I don’t look at them; a whole lot better.
If I don’t look, I’m not going to lust.
And if I don’t lust, I’m not going to crave.
And if I don’t crave, I’m not going to cave
Game over. I win.
No, I don’t do this perfectly. But I’m getting better at it. I will win this war. I will be victorious. I will conquer.
That’s my secret. I stop the war with my eyes and mind before it gets a chance to start.
@Bomdhil , congrats on the 23 days. Excellent 
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Celebrating day 285
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Way to go on 3 days sober! Im sorry ur going thru so much right now. I hope u are able to find some peace and calm in ur day today 
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