Hey all, checking in on day 1144. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Captains log: day 2 quitting vapingā¦
Up at 4am due to Boscoe walking all over me to wake me up because heās scared of a big thunderstorm.
Trying to beat this addiction is no joke! Its exhausting. I hope i do okay driving into work today. driving and vaping were a huge trigger. I hope I have a positive uplifting day and if not, well then, the strength to carry on towards the mission of ADDICTION FREE
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Congratulations @Amy30 and Happy Birthday! 
Itās beautiful to watch your successs after watching your struggles. So happy youāre off that relapse merry-go-round. Look at you now at 200 days. The change in your mindset shines through in your posts. Enjoy your day and your stay in that posh hotel. You deserve it.
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Checking in,day 3. I feel very good and it was nice to see i have clear eyes in the morning and not a puffy red ones from lack of sleep plus bottle of wine.
I brought my daughter to a nursery and drove to the office. Not much to do today so i read again here in the appā¦
I would love to go to the gym tonight or do a little jog,but i am not sure because of the weather.
It seems summer in the Netherlands is overš¬.
I take it step by step,day by day.
Challenge will be friday or saturday evening when i will need to answer my husband while doing the shopping if i want to get a wineā¦
I didnt share with my husband that i am concerned about having drinking problem. He barely drinks and i am very proud of him.
Unlike him i do have a problem. I like wine and i like it a lot-but only white one and that was always my excuse why i dont feel like alcoholic. As if i would be that means i would drink anything which i dontā¦
I created many lies in my head giving myself plenty of justification why i can have that bottle couple of times a week
I wish all of you lovely day
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Day 70. Nowās the time to utilize everything Iāve learned, nowās the time to be the best person I can possibly be, not just for me but for my girls to. Iām gonna miss my other counselor at twin oaks but grateful I still have this counselor at the other place, whatās nice about this place is everyday at 12 they have an a.a meeting so I plan on hitting one tomorrow. They do a bunch of recovery stuff over at the recovery campus across the road so thats cool. Much love everyone
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Checking in. Day 298
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Checking in on day 22
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Days PMO free: Day 12
Streak with at Least 7 hours sleep attempted: 9
Days with PS5 in the closet to close the day: 8
Days went to bed the same time with my wife: 8
Days i dont take my phone into that room at night: 1
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening all.
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Happy birthday and 200 days Amy!!! So very happy for you. Sounds like a swish set up you have there!! 
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Huge congratulations sweet Amy 
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Day 4,43
Checking in to maintain focus.
Oat cure feels good so far! 
A special conversion already made my day 
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This is actually from 24 July. Didnāt want to make a big deal of it, as celebrating these kinds of milestones tend to trigger a want to drink. However, the addict voice in my head still resurfaced that day and has been treading water in the surface of my mind ever since. So thought Iād have the celebration afterall, and in the best place possible to have it ā among people who really understand.
Two whole years and then some. A long, hard road worth travelling.
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Thatās phenomenal and with celebrating. Congratulations
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Who flagged me this time? I think people talk here on their days, how their feelings are affected and related topics. Those events in my country affect me a lot, affect me as a person. I do agree that there was few flaggings before where I posted bodybuilding related topics (with some topless nudity) and that is against this community rules. Yet the tv news about kidnapped childrenās from their family that affected me - where is inappropriate behavior here? Anger maybe? I tough about that, but I see a lot of complains and anger and sadness here in this community. That is part of our lifeās. Either way, I am not angry. Maybe sad and part of me feel hopeless and insecure at some point.
I know that I can control my inner feelings at some degree, yet there are things in this country that I cannot control and some dangers that corruption levels growing to the levels that it does affect my inner calmness.
I still have my Believe system, acceptance and forgiveness.
Either way, I would like to know who flagged me and the reasons why?
I do have a feeling that there are few people who just donāt like me as a person. I do understand that is possible, since I have quite difficult temper and often say too much when the silence is needed.
But flagging just because You dislike me is not an acceptable behaviour either.
Any way, I donāt know whatās your problem, I forgive you and sending love. Never judge and You will not judged.
Hugs to you my brothers and sisters.
Love You 
Donāt forget
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Well done on your 2 years!!!
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I didnāt flag you but I did read the post. It was politically charged which is against forum guidelines. Politics affect most all of us, but that doesnāt mean we can discuss it here.
On the sobriety front I would suggest not putting the weight of the world on your shoulders. Sobriety is hard enough without worrying about everything else. Acceptance is the key.
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I can relate to the milestone malady, as some people call it. Well done on 2 years sober!!! Big achievement!
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I agree about politics here. I do understand the point about putting weight on shoulders. Have nothing too add.
I actually was planning to remove that post on my own. Yet that really affected me strongly I wanted to share my feelings. Thank You for listening.
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Day 613
Feeling completely exhausted today, I just need to crack on hit the gym and push through, so I will.
Iām not in a good place mentally either as it approaches the anniversary of my mums passing, however today is officially a year since I was discharged from intensive care. I missed 3 of my mums last 4 weeks alive and it kills me knowing she was so worried about me as she was in hospital herself whereas I was unable to due to being sedated and ventilated. Iām thankful we had 8 days together after we were both discharged but it pains me deeply.
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