I thought the same @Scorpn 
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I was in a depressive mood starting round 11am. I had to clarify something with my digital passport and on my way to the citizin office tears were running down my face and I had real bad thoughts. Still did the the carwash. I felt cloudy and numbed all day. Managed to eat something although I felt bad about eating and my body too.
Had a short yoga sequence and 1h of swimming, now I am better. But I also had cravings. Need to go on with the inventory of suffering.
Nice messages from TS members and the sangha kept me up in the evening.
Hope tomorrow I am mentally more stabile.
I don’t want to go back to hell!
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Checking in sober day 65.
Horrible headache started mid afternoon. Nothing has helped yet. Dealing with some unnecessary stress. Craving a drink but I know that won’t help.
Just keep going OFDAAT. Right @Soberbilly ?
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Day 202,
I found myself craving today so I came on here. I’ve been busy lately and focused on work. I’m stressed about money for the next month but I’ll be ok in November. The deathly Berlin winter is around the corner it seems and I’m feeling wistful and overworked.
Just finished 4 funding and residency applications for a project I want to complete in 2025. Now I have two weeks to do a big funding application for a 6 day symposium I’m programming in the summer of 2024 and afterwards I enter rehearsals for a show premiering this November. I’m now just trying to fill my 2024 work calendar and it’s just so stressful. There are just so many things to do and so many meetings and so many people to answer to and coordinate. I really enjoy what I do and working for myself but sometimes I wish I had the stability and security of a 9-5.
Anyways I’ve been sober for a half year now and I didn’t even celebrate it on here. Happy 6 months to me. I’ll check in here more often.
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How are you doing now Jasmine? Hope ur having a beautiful day my friend 
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Congratulations on ur 6 months of freedom! Im glad u checked in, especially since ur having cravings. Hopefully connecting with others will help 
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Thank you! I’m trying make some time to read some quit lit. My cravings to drink right now is definitely coming from a place of self sabotage and impatience that I’m basically just planting my seeds right now and it won’t bear fruit until January at the earliest—and even then it might not be a ripe harvest. So I’m wanting to clip my wings a bit so I can be comfortable. Luckily this ive made this knowledge conscious so I won’t be possessed by this self destructive impulse.
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Its a decent day love – not the best but i know it could be worse-- i am moving around and keeping my mind / hands busy… luckily no cravings.
How are you doing – were you able to get your routines in?
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Great to see you DJ - you were missed. Sorry that you are dealing with such cravings.
Yes - they do seem to get stronger when we are not at our best. I’m sorry cause I do know how exhausting it is working for yourself and being responsible for your income / schedule. I do hope you are able to fill up your 2024 schedule without too much stress.
Much love my friend - A huge congrats on your 6 months of sobriety!!! You are crushing it – we are here for you and with you on this journey - stay strong 
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Checking in
Day 583
My day has been okay so far. I really had to push myself though to get up and get going. The morning basically involved me getting my son ready for school and then laying back down to bed once he got on the bus. I managed to get up around noon, vacuum the apartment, and then went for a 1 hour workout session (which was sooo needed). Now just doing a bit of reading on here and checking in. I still have dishes to do and supper to prep and i am just waiting for my son to get home.
I got some super crappy news tho about my sons overnight care coming up this weekend. One of our usual nurses took vacation and I found out today that the scheduler forgot about it and now there is no overnight care for 3 out of the 4 days that she took off. They are trying to finding coverage but so far its not looking good. Its Sept 22, 23, & 24. This weekend i have to work also and i cant call in bcuz that would be too much off my pay cheque. I cant afford to take time off. So idk what to do. I have no choice really but to do the overnights and work and then try to sleep as soon as i get home from work for a few hours before having to do it all over again. Theres no way I can stay awake for over 3 days straight. I politely bitched to the head honcho of homecare about the scheduler and how shes forgetting dates like this. Im sort of stressing about this but trying not to let it eat at me. We will see what happens lol
Anyway, thanks for me letting me vent haha and i hope everyone is enjoying their day! 
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Awwww thank you! 
and to you as well @Butterflymoonwoman
The cravings are already passing and I’m reminded that I’m living in my purpose and I’m not throwing that away!
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@JazzyS thank you so much 
🩵 I’m so glad you managed to enjoy games night with good friends, and some family time at the weekend.
@DanaM56 congrats on 90+ days 
@Just_Laura congrats on 7+ months
@LotusFlower thank you so much 🩵
@Thumper1213 congrats on 40+ days
@Qhob13 congrats on 3+ weeks
@Ballroomdaze sorry about your break-up 
but congrats on 3+ weeks
@JennyH well done for coming back and being honest. Welcome back 
🩵
@Susy welcome congrats on 6+ weeks
@Saturn81 sorry you’ve been unwell but congrats on 3+ weeks
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@Clarity my gosh, that was some day your family had! sending strength 🩵
@MrsOdh sending you strength 🩵
@Mira_D belated happy birthday 
🩵
@JuliaLuna congrats on your week
@Curtis-81 congrats on 30 days no tobacco
@SadMemeQueen glad you enjoyed Beetlejuice
@Hidden welcome back proud of you for pouring the rest out 🩵
@Bomdhil congrats on your week
@Rastana welcome congrats on 12 days
@Louloubelle congrats on 70 days
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@Tragicfarinelli congrats on your week
@MegaMeg welcome back congrats on day 1
@Lou82 welcome
@Mindofsobermike congrats on your first grade 
@2JTravNZ congrats on your year 
@Lotusflower congrats on your week wishing you all the best for treatment 🩵
@Its_me_Stella congrats on your week back on track with no sugar
@Deelzebub well done for being honest with your GP, I hope the new med helps and starts working asap 🩵
@liminal.rehab sending strength 🩵 congrats on 200+ days
1135 days no alcohol.
600 days no cocaine.
115 days no vape.
(Saturday was also 1 year no takeaways, quite a big deal for me).
Annnd it’s suddenly been 4 days since my last check-in. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but everything is currently feeling so much harder to do. It could be SAD kicking-in already, on top of my regular depression, so I could try using my SAD lamp some more. It could also be that my recent therapy has ended, or a mixture of both. I need to get back on track with my daily routine things asap though, I don’t feel right at all when I’m this far off-track. Today I’ve put together another reward chart with the larger paper I bought, that may help me to start doing my daily activities again, it was motivating when I was using one before.
I managed to do my 2 walks yesterday and today, for the first time in a while, so I do feel good about that. The meet-up was nice Sunday, we sat and had a coffee then did a partial walk around the lake (one of the bridges is closed and being rebuilt so we couldn’t do the rest of the planned route due to the meet-up end time).
I attended a Zoom webinar about flashbacks and how to manage them last night. A few new bits of insight there. Also found out the current wait tine for their specific therapy is 3 3/4 years, I’ve been waiting 3 1/4 years, so it may be my turn in another 6 months or so, I’ll get there eventually.
I have an appointment with a psychologist booked for 17th October, to do some work around boundaries and assertiveness.
Today I had an online meeting to see if I can offer any help for the trans awareness week at the recovery college. Ideally they would like a 5min video, but I really cant see myself being able to do that. So I said if she emails me some qusstions, I’ll be happy to answer them in writing.
Then this afternoon I attended an online course about CFS/ME.
It feels good to be caught up again.
(I ran out of 
s about 40 posts ago).
🩵
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Im so glad to hear this! 
Glad u checked in!
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@Starlight14 and @Juli1
I lost regular status because I wasn’t active enough. But I’m close to being active enough to get back to it.
I was working 60+ hours then I got pneumonia. So it’s ok. Life happens.
Love you ladies 
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You got a lot accomplished today - 1 hour work out – so grateful it treated you well.
WTF – i am so fed up with this scheduler – does this person not have empathy in their heart? Cause no humane human being would keep being this absentminded and leave people in such a lurch! This is ridiculous.
I wish I could help you out my friend - 3 nights straight with work in the days is a heavy load to take on. I do pray that they are able to find some coverage and more than that - i pray that someone talks to this scheduler.
Much love Dana - please vent anytime my friend. I would not have been so polite with the head honcho.
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Omg! Wow!!! Congratulations not only on ur 1 year of no take a aways, but i also see u have 600 days of no cocaine!! Fabulous work friend! its always nice to see u checking in!
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Day 135. Here I am fellow sober peeps. Checking in, checking out.
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I completely agree!!! Like idk how she missed our nurses vacation dates. Apparently it was bcuz she was away and then wasnt made aware. But i call BS on that. Bcuz this vacation time was put in months ago. And now all of a sudden they realized last minute and now cant find coverage for it. I am fed up. Im calling tmrw to see if they have any leads on coverage. There was only 1 other person that is trained with my son that could potentially be free. Im praying she accepts at least doing 1 shift. Thank u for ur support Jasmine! I appreciate it 
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