Checking in daily to maintain focus #58

[ImperfectEcho]

Weed - day 43
Alcohol - day 3
Cigarettes - day 1

This is my first check in. I am craving a lot for a cigarette right now. Weed cravings are gone. Alcohol cravings are manageable. Nicotine cravings are the worst. Nicotine gum is helping a bit. I don’t want to use patches, since my skin is sensitive.

My shrink says that I have a lot of anger inside me, among other things, and that I need to let it out in a healthy way. So I have been walking. Went for a walk today morning and clocked 10.8 kms before I felt calm enough to be functional. I will need to do it again in the evening, since that’s the time the cravings, irritability and anxiety are the worst. It’s a huge help.

I have a long list of things I need to do, but I don’t think I am in a state to tackle them. I don’t want to deal with people right now. I get triggered too fast. Stating away from others is probably the best thing for me. At least for the next few days.

Thank you for listening. Any advice is welcome.

[DanaM56]

Welcome and I can relate to the internal anger. I find lifting weights very helpful. I think the walks are a great idea as well.

[Sara.eve]

Hey

I am at day 13 with no cigarettes and the first 3 or 4 days were the worst!!! Hang in there!!! And congratulations !! You are already tackling a lot right now!!! All at the same time
Be nice and understanding towards yourself 🫶🏻 my first 3 months sober were soooo hard…i felt depressed and angry… i needed a lot of rest. I am at 5 months and I am starting to clean up my appartement…I am starting to have the motivation to do it…i am able to calm myself down…only thing I have to say is you got this!! Stay strong! Its okay to be mad, or discouraged…just dont hold on to the negative feelings…live them, learn from them, grow, and let it go
You got this, sending you lots of love
One day at a time 🫶🏻

[Sara.eve]

And yes going to walk, or physical activity does help! I dance or go walk! And it helps a lot 🫶🏻

[DanaM56]

Checking in 99 days alcohol free

My first semi down weekend in weeks. It was nice to just lay around and sleep. I took long naps both days and figured I needed them. I did house sir for a friend but it was local. Wishing I had another day at home before returning to work.

Cravings I had over the weekend to drink are gone which are nice and my back is feeling pretty good today.

Sleep well sober family.

[Sara.eve]

I just cant believe im at 149 days no weed, 170 days no speed no alcohol and 13 days no cigarettes…i am forever greatful towards myself for taking this decision…what a beautiful gift i made myself…finally i am me and boy i love myself. Thanks to all of you for your support 🫶🏻love you guys
Have a great 24h
Just for today

[Sara.eve]

Its sooo important to listen to our body and sleep when we need it good night and good day at work tomorrow

[Sara.eve]

Oh and congratulations on your 99 days sober beautiful

[ImperfectEcho]

@Sara.eve @DanaM56 Thank you. Means a lot to know that I am not alone, and there are others who can relate. Most people cannot understand what’s going on inside.

[SoberGuyUSA]

Hello all,

Checking in on Day 1,884 Sober.

Thanks

[Just_Laura]

Pampering yourself and getting dolled up doesn’t have to be expensive. I’m a single mom now but I still make it work. My nails always look fly, but I glue them on myself for as little as $3. A single sheet mask for a mini home facial. Epsom salt foot soak and a pedi (if you have the time(I hate waiting for polish to dry )). Most all of my makeup is cheap drugstore stuff. And you’d be surprised at some hidden clothing treasures at thrift stores. Sometimes brand name items still with tags! I found a $200 pair of Sorel boots for $10! Surprised they were actually my big ass shoe size

A little TLC goes along way

[Juli1]

24

Checking in.
Commited to this life in sobriety.
Will finally joyn a meeting again this afternoon.

[Just_Laura]

Another nice day off alone. I woke up earlier than expected and had energy all day. I’ve been cautiously having a cup of coffee here and there to see how it goes. It doesn’t seem to worsen my anxiety but I won’t over do it.

I am the most impulsive person when it comes to hairstyles. I’ll go 2 years without a trim and wake up one day and decide I’m cutting a foot off, into some totally different style. That day. I’ll go anywhere that can fit me in. No forethought whatsoever. Keep the style until I get sick of taking care of it (I always forget how high maintenance short hair is), and then grow it out again. Last trim was in February, but it’s been my natural color for 5 years now. Started to bore me…so my only goal today was to dye my hair. I FUCKING LOVE IT!!! Sometimes it’s the little things I’ll show you guys tomorrow.

I spoke with an ex of mine today for the first time in months. My first love (before my daughters father). I was happy I actually picked up. There’s been a reason I hadn’t. This whole situation happened right before I came back here, and honestly might have been the reason I did. It is so confusing and complicated and crazy. I will share it when I have A LOT more time.

See ya’ll tomorrow

[Hidden]

End of day 6:

Not a bad day, didn’t start great, but ended perfectly.

Slept soundly last night, my sleep machine has been doing wonders at helping my brain from running wild. The sound of a crackling campfire with a thunderstorm in the background calms my mind and draws me back to nights in my tent listening to the rain bounce off the stretched canvas.

Woke up, made my coffee while listening to some indie music. Jumped in my truck to go find some breakfast, no bueno, truck wouldn’t start. Hooked up my jumper box, still nothing, batteries wouldnt even take a charge. Luckily my daughter was able to run me down to the autopart store and $400 later and a little work i have two new batteries and a truck that runs.

Good part was seeing my daughter. My son is back in town from college this weekend so i had them both over for dinner. Told them I’d make whatever they wanted and luckily for me they wanted bbq hot dogs and Kraft Mac n Cheese! Cheap easy dinner, but always good, just not exactly healthy! Best part was being with them though.

Afrer they left i had some time to do a little self reflection on my last relapse. It lasted almost two years. I honestly thought i would be able to manage my drinking after being sober for two years, i couldnt have been more wrong. Only took a few months and i was drinking every day again.

The thing about this last relapse was the drinking was never fun, it’s just what i did, what i was compelled to do. I was slowly shutting down. Not the life i want. So glad i found the strength to pour it all down the drain.

It’s amazing the difference I’m already feeling after only a week. Thankful for the lessons each of my relapses has taught me, but the time i wasted is unfortunate. I wish i would have taken my sobriety more seriously the first time i got sober back in 2015. Painful lessons learned, but no looking back, just focusing on tomorrow.

Sorry for the long check in, this is what happens when i do a little self reflecting! Haha!

Wishing you all crackling fire and thunderstorm dreams!

[JennyH]

Welcome to the thread @ImperfectEcho and @Denver Nice to have to have you here.

Checking in on Day 11. Really pleased with my progress. Quite tired today, with a headache. My first thought on waking was I must have drank last night. Massive relief that I didn’t but still feel a bit rubbish. Even when my chronic fatigue syndrome is in a good place, it still takes me so long to wake up and physically get up. I used to hate staying in bed after waking up. Oh well, this is where I am at and am starting to accept that. Feeling more at peace now I have.

[Timetochange]

Day 93. Back at work. Today i will be mainly catching up on email’s i think.

Everyone around me is getting use to the idea i don’t drink anymore whixh is helpful . Sometimes they seem a little sad which I kind of understand… I’m not sad. Onwards and upwards

[Wakikki]

Checking in, 364 days sober from alcohol. My days are very swinging from good, ok and terrible. Today is terrible. Had my mri, waiting for results.
Still going to my psychologist, she have some tougths about wahts going on with me, but want to wait for mri resultat. Perhapse I have somatoform disorder, definitly anxiety and depresjon in various stages.

My psychologist mentioned a word during my tests. I heard it before and had to dig and ask for my papers from earlier psychologist back in 2006/07.(age 18-19) And ohmyy… I had according to this psychologist antisocial behaviour, careless for others, very angry hostil, violent. And I read that I had used different drugs, had alcolproblems and been suicidal trying to end my life. I cant remember all this. Yeah some of it I can recall when I read it. But not all, can I have forgotten it or shut it out of my memory?

I dont know, I was shocked reading this.

[Rob11]

Day 1010,

Just saw this as well on my phone when I picked it up. For now still in bed , but don’t put me down for it……

[Barber508]

Vivitrol shot today…hopefully

[Mno]

1570

Glad to see my Luna. Sad to have said goodbye to my friend and her cat. Home is where the cat is. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam.