I suppose it’s as good a time as any to share this…
I hit 2 years free from binging on alcohol last Friday and I mentioned in my previous post some of the feelings I was having leading up to that milestone. I know I deal with some seasonal depression and things have been stressful at times in my life, but I definitely resonate with what some others have said about milestones getting things mixed up in your head! But the life I am able to build without alcohol is remarkable in comparison to where I was before, binging more and more, lying and hiding from my husband and family, feeling worse and worse physically and emotionally, deepest dives into depression I’d ever experienced, you get the point. I have healthier relationships, especially with my husband, he’s my best friend and never left my side. My finances are better, we bought our first new car and our first home, no doubt due to my not literally pissing money away. I’ve made strides in getting to know myself better and be kinder to myself and even to others. The list could go on and on. It has been one of the hardest things I’ve done but one of the most fulfilling, too. It takes work and it continues to take work. That work changes over time and some things get easier and then life happens and shit’s hard again. That’s why the work of recovery is fundamental.
Mostly I am grateful. Lots of gratitude for finally making that decision and sticking with it, for my support system and for this community. You all are the bedrock of my sobriety - thank you for being here. 