Thank you, I like that idea of figuring out who I am. I guess that will happen over time and I have to build up some confidence in the person I am.
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Thank you for your reply. I’m quite shy and introverted as well and I guess I used substances to be more outgoing.
I’m going to work on myself and my interests as they definitely took a back burner the past few years.
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We need a naturalist thread, I am so into all of that now. Only recently discovered, always enjoyed spending time in nature but now enjoying learning about it and noticing it 
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Checking in on day 100. The feeling is indescribable. Just 100 days ago I was in such a dark place, I didn’t know if I could reach 30 days again.
Thank you to everyone in the community, have a great day everyone 
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Yes we should! You can sign up to free lectures on this stuff online you know lol 
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Congratulations on your 100 days Katiee. Enjoy that feeling.
It’s a beautiful thing.
And you deserve it.
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Thanks for letting us know Des.
It sounds like something I’ve had to do before. And when I just put it in Gods hands. And let Him guide me and let Him put the right people in the right place. It turned out to be a beautiful thing. It was scary. But it was so worth it. Like you.
You will be in great hands I just know it.
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Day 108 alcohol free
Thank you everyone for your input and support about my concerns with my focus on non alcoholic drinks. I agree I think I shall stay away from in at least in buying and keeping in my home. I’m do believe it would be a slippery slope for me. I have enjoyed a mocktail when out and will keep it that way.
It’s interesting to me how my mind began making excuses around my birthday to introduce a na beverage to my world. The addict mind is a tricky mind. Lol
Back feels pretty good today just a bit tired. I hope everyone has an amazing day!
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Just needing to check in today with people who can understand and where I do t have to explain myself…
Condensed version couple days shy of 5months, tomorrow is my birthday so I thought I would spend a couple days at the ocean bc I now live In the desert, I am 30 minute drive from where I used to live with my ex (narcissist) I’ve been in my Airbnb for 3 days now and have yet to go down to the beach… I dont know why the hesitation maybe I just needed to put even more closure on that extremely painful relationship…
If anyone even takes time to read this I would be so grateful for any input…
Thanks
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@hopedealer2 congrats on your double digits! We are indeed miracles – keep em coming!
@butterflymoonwoman Oh man Dana – yeah, I can imagine the emotional day you must have had. So grateful that your son had a good time at the party and what a lovely image of the two friends holding hands and having fun
@juli1 WOW – love your sober hike and a hell of a swim yesterday! Then joining a RR meeting – girl you are absolutely crushing it and I am so happy to see it!
@hoss love all the challenges and meetings you have lined up – sober you is in charge and I’m loving how you are working it ODAAT!
@hidden Thank you friend! Happy Birthday 
and well done on your 2 weeks of sobriety. I am grateful that you enjoyed your family time today.
@just_laura Oh love that is a lot to carry for sure and I do hope that now that you are not drinking that slowly you can get yourself back on track. Grateful that you could turn to your parents (I know its not what you want to do but that is what parents and support systems are for – no shame in using what you can to get your grounding solidified).
@soberwalker thank you for sharing that bench! Love this idea and hoping for more to show up around the world.
@jennyH I am grateful that you were able to get support and connection here when you needed it. Grateful that you were also able to find the Meme thread (so much fun indeed).
@brokenwolf Please do not apologize for not being here for others. You are a caring and loving soul and we know that you give so much to the community. Right now you need us and we are here for you. Sending you strength to get through this moment in time.
@pattycake – yikes… That’s no fun. I did have a bird stuck in my bathroom once and thank god I was able to get it out safely and seal the vent. I do hope it’s a easy and quick exit for whatever is in the walls. I am so sorry for your loss Patricia
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Thank you Eric! I hope you have a wonderful day!
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@cloudy Welcome back and glad that you are more willing to sick with it this time around. We got your back here – I do hope you are also doing things differently so that this time will stick.
@lotusflower 21 days (3 weeks is amazing) – Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment. We will be right here for you when you are able to reach out. I know its scary to embark on the unknown but you are the boss of your life and you do have the strength to face your healing journey head on.
@mia2 So good to see you back my friend – you were missed! I am so sorry for the depression – I do hope that you are able to overtake its hold on you. Grateful for your therapy session. Listen to your advice and do go easy on yourself
@Sabrina80 My goodness that is eerie. What a crazy dream and for it to have truth in it. I know I have waking moments of thought like this and I feel like it’s the universe connecting with us. I do hope you are feeling better now after last nights dream as the day progressed.
@selflove_42 you are doing great with 61 days under your belt. Way to go on realizing the signs that could cause a relapse and buckling down to avoid them. I know you are stronger than this addiction and with your vigilance and family / community support you will overcome!
@looking4support sorry about your headache – hope you are feeling better now and were able to make that coffee
@calgary5577 I think this is a false statement we tell ourselves – we are only fun when we drink – we can only have courage to dance after a drink… NOPE – it’s time to re-train our brains and get comfortable with being ourselves. We are amazing just the way we are! Those who can’t appreciate that or have a problem with it need to keep walking (this is why when we become sober, many a times, we have to find a new social circle – not that the folks that we hung out with are bad or uncaring / unloving – its just that we don’t fit like we used to. Do not change yourself (end your streak) to please others or be what you think they need you to be.
@katiee 100 days! Triple digits my friend – you are amazing! Keep going strong 
@NICKLE5CENTS WOW – almost 5 months and a happy early birthday! Love the name! Spending it by the ocean side is beautiful. I do feel like the water is healing in that we can talk to it and share our grief and it literally washes it away. Your ex is a part of your past and tomorrow is a beginning of a new year for you. It takes time to heal from a relationship even a painful one. All you can do is keep moving forward and loving yourself in the process. Grateful that you shared with us today and I do hope you have the absolute best time at the Airbnb while you are there
Checking in on Tuesday morning – i feel good but overwhelmed. I have energy but also have a ton of stuff to get done. I do hope that i don’t over do task myself and that i am able to get it all done (if that makes sense). I am enjoying my morning so far and hope that today is a beautiful day. Yesterday was nice but far from comfortable. Glad that i did get my locks changed and the irrigation blown out properly at no extra cost. Waiting for 7 hours was a bitch especially in this heat. I also walked past a thistle bush so had thistles all in my back for 6 + hours which was not the most pleasant experience. Today is a lovely hot day so glad that i’m indoors. I do hope you all have a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all much love
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When I’m overwhelmed I break it down to:
First Things First
#fuckthistles 
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Thank you Eric – I will be doing that now
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32
Yeajjj
Got my things together. Today.
Much love
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@NICKLE5CENTS happy birthday and congrats on almost 5 months!! 
it sounds like you’re hesitant to go to the ocean because it brings up memories of your narc ex! i’d say - go down there! make a new memory! make it about you, the life you’re building, and the pleasure of being at the ocean to celebrate yourself, your sobriety, your birthday … and just to appreciate the simple joy and wonder of the ocean! especially when you live in the desert now! it’s an amazing opportunity to give yourself a wonderful gift, close a chapter and open a new one 
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checking in with 23 days alcohol free and 6 days nicotine free. yesterday was rough yall the tears were flowin and i wanted to drink but some great folks on this platform talked me out of it and i went down to throw rocks in the river with my baby boy instead, and told someone who hurt me to fuck off forever instead, and cooked an elaborate vegetarian meal instead, and watched some silly reality TV instead!! it’s so much better to do anything other than hurt yourself! 
i’m really grateful i got yesterday to see what it’s like to sit with harsh feelings and watch them flow through, and not feel like i have to numb them. ya it hurts but so what? drinking hurts more. i’m glad to have gotten that important practice. love y’all!
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Checking in on day 66
@Sabrina80 and @Pattycake I know those dreams as well. Sometimes they felt so real and I can recall it all day but sometimes I can’t even remember the dream but waking up with kind of feeling sad and melancholy would stay all day through.
Hope you’re getting a peaceful sleep tonight.
@Soberbilly just want to say thank you tonight. I always love reading your posts. They send great energy and positivity to the room and especially your kind words tonight make me feel blessed. Thank you Billy
@Lotusflower I’m glad your treatment ist starting now. I can only imagine how nervous you feel about it, especially leaving your kids but you will bring them a gift nobody could buy. You’ll bring a sober Mum who’s armed with tools to deal with life on life’s terms.
Just be open minded and take it even there one day at a time. You’ll make it!
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Morning Check in
Day 597
Had a pretty rough sleep last night. My plan was initally to get my son on the bus for school and then go back to bed. That didnt happen lol i decided to get a few things done instead. Phone calls that had to be made. I made 2 appts for my son, a dental cleaning appt and a wheelchair fitting appt. Then i made myself a dental cleaning appt. Kind of nervous about seeing the dentist though. I brush my teeth daily but i havent been in to see the dentist in about 5 years (mainly due to to cost… plus I sort of have a fear of the dentist). Its just soooo darn expensive here where I live (apparently my province has the highest dental rates in all of Canada). My husband has benefits now for dental which should help, hence why Im making this appt. But im also wondering if i have done damage to my teeth in any way, due to using drugs. We will find out in a couple weeks when my appt comes up. I then went to the grocery store for a few things. And now im going to workout and have a healthy lunch. Hope everyone is having a great day so far! 
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Hi Julia, have you moved into your new apartment yet? I’m sorry if I missed it if so, I’m not the best at keeping up with all the posts in here 
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