I remember you, welcome back home Frank 
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Itās not always your fault Kelly! I just wrote this on my notepad on my phone to remind meā¦a few times recently shit has happened and i automatically revert to things being my fault or something i should have done differently but then im proved wrong, when accountability spills over into blaming yourself for every little thing, stop it Kelly.
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Checking in on day 353.
Anxiety through the roof, exhausted from lack of sleep, and canāt be f*cked with work today.
But I will get through this.
Have a great Wednesday everyone.
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Hey lovely lady, I like Jay Shetty also, Iāve listened to a lot of those! Amazing stuff, so inspiring isnāt it? X
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Checking in Day 144 
Still going strong, had a non alcoholic beer tonight as itās heading into summer and itās my last day of work 
Manager is still trying to get me to stay but I feel so light and happy 
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Welcome back Frankā¦ I remember you!
Good to c you back here
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47
Checking in.
Recovering.
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Checking in, Day 34. Still so gloomy, but only a mild sore throat so thatās an improvement.
I feel like I am making enormous progress though. I am visualising a future without alcohol, even the special occasions. That is something I donāt think I really accepted before. This Christmas I am looking forward to all the lovely food, a sparkling apple juice or lemonade, and being able to drive!
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Yes, progress! The āspecialā in the occasions will be not drinking alcohol during them. Proud of you for thinking ahead and talking about how you feel.
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1593
Sometimes all we can do is pick up the pieces and keep going. Sometimes work isnāt fun at all. Sometimes in the detox I work thereās very difficult patients that cause disturbances to their own process and that of others, like what happened in the last week. Which disturbs my capabilities to help people there a lot, and makes working there tiring, hard and unsatisfactory.
Then yesterday someone, a very young person, was admitted to the detox. That someone had an epileptic seizure during the evening caused by alcohol and GHB withdrawal. Then when they were coming out of it slowly, while I was holding their hands and they were trying to get up and leave, they had another seizure and that one wouldnāt stop. We did what we could, but nothing we did helped and they were transported to the ER. At this point I donāt know the outcome.
I know worse things happen in the world but this is up close and personal and it happened just after someone told me a news fact that hit me like a ton of bricks. And itās what addiction does. Reading this morning in the paper how drug and alcohol use is on the increase here amongst students, and how you can easily become a social outcast when you donāt participate in it. Screw that. Fuck addiction.
And finally, today would have been the 49th birthday of a very dear friend of mine, a girl who instead died 4 years ago, totally out of the blue, because of a freak brain condition that had nothing to do with drugs or booze. It was just bad luck. Miss you Suus.
And on we go. All I can do is move forward and work on myself, to be the best version of myself I can be. Look for, and find, connection in myself and to others. And thus try to make this world just this tiny bit better as well. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love from Luna and me.
@Mindofsobermike To quote Macklemore: if I can be an example of being sober, I can be an example of starting over. Be an example for yourself. We fall. We get up again. Thereās nothing else to it. Weāre in this together.
@Frank68 Itās good to see you Frank. Even if the circumstances suck. But this is what weāre here for. One day at a time for all of us.
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Thank you dearest Alisa 
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Great post Mno. Very important words to remember and hold dear.
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Aaaah, thank you. You made me all proud of myself
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Day 136 AF.
Weāre travelling through to a harp competition that my daughterās taking part in today. My daughter is understandably nervous but Iām strangely calm. I think this is the effect of the antidepressants Iāve been taking this past month. Theyāre really starting to work now.
Iāve been enjoying making artwork on my iPad and have begun contemplating putting together an exhibition at some point.
Wishing everyone an addiction free day.
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Glad you are starting to feel better! Honestly, my sober Christmas last year was so lovely. We walked through the royal parks really Xmas day and had a thermos of coffee watching the world unfold.
Sober is better, always. Gotta fight for it.
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That sounds amazing! Christmas in London must be really special
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Home alone now till the weekend, plan on some flat sorting and whittling down. Have barely any food in so will need to get creative later 
. Thatās my comfort zone anyway, when I have nothing, but build greatness from it! Having too much always makes me really upset and uneasy, itās a strange response I knowā¦a full fridge gives me anxiety and a lapse in creativity.
Anyhoo Iāll take my strangeness to my work day and get it done. Easier day hopefully today.
Plan to attend my ACOA late late meeting tonight at midnight. Last weekās shares threw up some thoughts that have really been playing on my mind a lot (how hard it is for an alcoholic, who is also an ACOA, to attend regular AA and being around adult parents that have either treated/are treating their kids like I was). Food for thought 
That turned out longer than expected. Peace 
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