Thank youu!! 
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It definitely is…can’t say dope or heroine in aa gotta replace it with alcohol…even tho I don’t n never drank…crazy rule
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Day 117. Ok day at work. Alot to do. Went to aldi shopping, felt sad looking at the beer when i walked by. Not good . Watching ghosts on iplayer:) i will not drink today and am looking forward to the weekend
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You know what I do when I cross the alcohol isle in my store? I smile. Why? Because it has no power over me any more.
See it this way, that makes you feel a lot better about it: You beat it, every time you pass it.
Every time a victory 
You’ve lost nothing, you’ve gained everything
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Late check in. Woke up this morning and didn’t have the energy to look through my phone at notifications or check in on the app.
Day 455. Home early from work. I’ve been having some early days all week which is pretty nice for a change. I’m feeling good. I went to a meeting last night and it was really, really nice and informative… great people and the woman who runs the place was very amazing and welcoming. I’m looking forward to going back again next week. That’s all for today. Hope everyone is doing well today. 
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Second check in
At 8 pm I started yawning, my body telling me that he wants to go to bed to read and sleep soon 
And here I am, in my jammies snuggled up in a fluffy blanket and with 5 pillows surrounding me 
Time to unwind and read 1 hour and then: sleep.
My mind is wonderfully relaxed, I like this a lot.
Good night 
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I went to both AA and NA for almost a year. In the end I felt that AA was a better fit. I don’t mind identifying as an alcoholic in AA and addict in NA because in the end it’s all the same. In my area it’s very common to have talk of drug use in AA, however NA seemed to have more of an issue about the term “alcoholic”. This is part of the reason I felt more comfortable in AA. I was addicted to heroin and crack, but I’m also an alcoholic.
I know this is really dependent on where you are located.
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Massachusetts…I experienced the opposite in my area…aa doesn’t want people that share to mention dope or Is heroine…not for nothing people seem to be more stable in aa
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48
Checking in.
Last night in old home and bed 
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Thank you, really appreciate it!
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@Noshame belated congrats on double digits 
@JazzyS thank you 
🩵 I do hope you’ve been getting some rest in 
congrats on getting the house back on the rental market
@Mindofsobermike ah man, I’m so sorry to read this, but congrats on your honesty. Get back to basics with doing the next right thing, you can still do college and work on your sobriety at the same time. I believe in you, you can turn this around. 🩵
@Frank68 sorry about the circumstances but welcome back
@happyfeet belated congrats on 80 days
@Mno I’m glad your patients have you. Be very kind to yourself in your down-time. 🩵
@Deelzebub yay for your daughter 
I’m so glad you’re feeling better
@Andrea4 congrats on all the 4s
@Mira_D sending you strength as you face the trial 🩵
@Hidden congrats on 30 days and for feeling better 
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@WCan great to see you! Congrats on 1129 days
@HolySquid ugh, I’m sorry about your guests. I hope you can recharge and get some inner peace back now 🩵
@zzz congrats on 3 weeks
@mx_elle congrats on 2 weeks sending strength 🩵
@Rastana sending sgrength 🩵
@MooseTracks have fun celebrating your last day! Good luck for your new start next week 
@lorelai feel better soon 🩵
@Tragicfarinelli do NOT let her take you back there. I appreciate you are triggered but there must be a healthier way to deal with these feelings. Self-care, talking wifh people who dont make you feel like crap, meditation if you’re into it. Sending strength 🩵
@AnnaE congrats on 150 days
@Cpwalsh94 welcome congrats on your day 2
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@Curtis-81 congrats on all the 4s
@Mingo welcome congrats on 2 days
@Juli1 good luck with your move 
1165 days no alcohol.
630 days no cocaine.
145 days no vape.
Tuesday, I was up before my alarms. Did my morning routine and caught the bus to the city centre for my psychologist assessment. She agreed that we will do 12 sessions, starting on the 31st. I didnt even know it was an assessment, I thought it was just one session to help me with boundaries and assertiveness, so I am grateful for the unexpected outcome there.
Then I attended an online course, session 2 of ‘Food and Mood’. During the intro we were asked a question, and I shared something and then spent the rest of the session feeling ashamed and embarassed.
The rest of the session really highlighted how disordered my relationship with food is, so I was glad when it ended.
Tuesday evening had a migraine and was really shaking even when laying down. Putting it down to the vaccines as it was only day 3.
Yesterday I had 3 booked courses, 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon, and 1 in the evening. I missed the middle one as I was hit with fatigue ten mins after the first one ended, so had to lay down, I did set alarms but didnt realise my ohone was on silent, and I didnt wake up until 14:10, and the course started at 13:30. I atteneded the evening one, so 2 out of 3, and I’ll do the one I missed next term.
Today I had an all day tattoo session. It was a long-overdue cover up, where one of my abusive exes branded me. I had it covered up before but the tattoo was hideous, so a few years ago I had 6 sessions of laser to remove it, and now finally, I found a piece of art, that the tattooer I go to did his impression of. I am very happy with the outcome.
🩵
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Checking back in part 2 haha. Made another meeting. Also kept my doctors appointment to discuss my drinking. I was SO afraid that it would involve going into the hospital because im feeling like garbage with withdrawal symtoms. I explained that i went back to AA, was taliking with my sponsor, Journaling, taking to you all here on the ap. They gave me a once over for symptoms and vitals and to my pleasant surprise he gave me meds to get over the symptoms and contacts for programs that are outpatient. Also has a medication/ medical testing plan to start in about 3 weeks when things are semi normal. He said he liked the work i was doing so that helped his recommendations.
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day 596 of no self harm
I don’t know if I want to get better. I don’t want to live like this but I also don’t know anything else. it’s comforting in a messed up way. I’ve self destructed my entire life and as harmful as it towards me, I don’t care. whatever happens to me is fine
(not saying I’m going to harm myself no one needs to worry about that I’m not)
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Day 278.
Checking in. Sober.
Today I’ve been struggling to find the words. At work, I mean. And that’s a problem because… well, I fucking work with words. But I can’t seem to brain fart them out anymore.
It’s probably the whole grieving thing. I was working when I got the news last week so maybe my brain suffered a short circuit or something?
In other news… the cyst is back. Yes, that cyst from my cyst thread. Yes, there’s a cyst thread.
I know I need antibiotics to make it go away again, but that involves going to a doctor and I really really really don’t wanna.
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Just checked into my Airbnb. I’d been staying with my friends who own the ranch where my horse lives until my house is finished (last I heard I can move in this Monday🤞). They drink daily which was hard for me, and I was doing great at avoiding it until 2 nights ago when I mindlessly poured a glass of wine and drank it, then drank another one. I’d even been drinking an NA beer before I did it ffs. Power of suggestion I guess, plus nightly invitations to drink. I didn’t go overboard, but I had almost 2 months of sobriety and now I am on day 1 again. Anyway, I decided I needed to leave their lovely home and check into an Airbnb so I could get away from the drinking, and I have an appointment with my sober coach Saturday to go over what happened. It was time to leave their place anyway since I’d been there almost 2 weeks which is too long in my book, so I had an excuse to go:).
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Sober day 14.
Back home from the mountains. Sad to leave the cabin but happy to be back to my cats and my own bed. I wish I could afford to buy a little house in the middle of the woods somewhere.
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Thank you Cam. 
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569 day check in 🩵
Happy Friday friends. All is well here.
The nice weather is starting to roll in. Usually the heat is associated with lots of beers, pub times by the water, all that stuff. Over the last few years I’ve learned that I don’t need the buzz of booze. I don’t enjoy it, it just makes me feel like shit and enjoy the good times less.
Lately I’ve been enjoying a nice cold drink like a ginger beer, or a coke, and I’ve felt comfortable enough to enjoy a non alcohol cider/wine as it doesn’t trigger me to want to get buzzed. I just enjoy the notion of enjoying a cold fancy drink in the sun.
However, my brain has been almost in two minds about the non alcoholic options lately. I really enjoy the additional options available, and they don’t trigger me to miss being drunk but I know that it is a no no for some sober folks. I’m worried that maybe subconsciously I am crossing a line and don’t realise it? I trust my gut, I know I feel solid in my sobriety right now.
My husband said that he doesn’t enjoy the non alcoholic options as it makes him just want a real beer. Maybe we are in two different places in sobriety?
Or am I not seeing the signs within myself?
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