I’ll be here 
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#3
Another late night check-in. It’s 02:15 am here. I’m too tired right now to even look for a smiley to express my tiredness lol. I hope everyone’s doing well. You are all loved 
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What a beautiful check in I just love those productive days.
You are a true champion Jasmine, going through all you are going through with chronic pain. I always appreciate reading your shares, your thoughtfulness and honesty. Makes me happy when I hear you had a good day (pain not withstanding). Sending you hugs my friend xo
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Simply stunning 
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Hi Mike, I had read this before and sat with it kind of in my mind.
I just wanted to say: its TOTALLY okay not to like when people say shit like that and to have your own opinion and mind. Some shit that gets said in recovery doesnt hit right, but also some people in recovefy deliver shit with ego and its toxic. Especialy when youre steuggling.
Just wanted to share my experience with that. For me; Im just really grateful that you shared your exprrience. Of coudse its good for you to do, but it is important for me to hear too, becayse it is a reminder of how challenginf this can be. When you share your experience it is a reminder of why I am hear, and its kind of selfish but also its like Fuckinf thank you for beinf real. Bc if you didnt, maybe we all forget what its like and well…how the story goes. I think that generally saying it, like in a way that is expressing true gratitude is just people sayinf thank you to those who are either new or experiencinf a relapse. When i was new in the rooms (not there anymode for my own reasons), the way that shit was expressed by members was mostly genuine af and made me feel important. Like me being there was helping them, and it made me feel apart of. People literally made me feel like that level of honest and starting this journey was doing them a favour, and it was part of what helped me feel apart of and so supported.
On the flip, we all have crossed paths with people who have a different tone or who may not express it like that. I defs had people in sobriety come for me with self righteousness disguised up in recovery talk. I think we encounter a level of that all over in life, and in recovery lots of people still sick and on their journey. Stick to the people who make you feel supported, and know that there will always be some shit thsy will say in recovery that will tick you off lol. Just wanted you to know on a genetal level where that sentiment comes from, on a real level of truly valuing your experience. Old members or those with sobriety expressing this are meant to come from a place of genuine gratitude for you & your experience, the rest can f off (or I mean you can accept it or whatever suits best LOL). Xo.
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It’s been awhile since I’ve checked in. To be honest I’m having a rough time dealing with tooth pain, migraine headache and trying to keep my spirits up. I have a dentist appointment next Thursday, I had to reschedule from tomorrow due to migraine triggered by weather shifting and most likely tooth pain exacerbates it also. I’m finally starting the process to remedy the neglect I’ve done to my mouth and it’s causing me to feel a lot of regret and shame. Years of drinking to numb and avoid taking care of business took its toll. I know it doesn’t help to feel shame so I am trying my best to take things a day at a time and even a moment at a time right now. I also know things can’t get fixed overnight and I’m nervous about that process but it is a quality of life issue at this point. I want to feel proud that my husband and I are embarking on this oral health journey together and hopefully I can cultivate those feelings over time. It’s an important investment and we have the financial ability to do so, just got to bite the bullet, so to speak 
It certainly makes me motivated to stay sober, I’ll say that! Hope folks are hanging in there through the changing seasons and the seasonal depressive feelings that can bring. It is something I deal with, too. 
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129 days AF
Overly tired today not quite sure why. I was able to get my workout in this morning and it felt good. Back is a little sore.
Work was quiet and I’m grateful for that. I’m going to head to bed early but wanted to keep myself accountable and check in. Good night and sleep well everyone.
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Wow that is great quitting all those different things in such a close time proximity…
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Day 36:
Slept better last night, busy work day, daughter’s volleyball game, headed to bed. Another happily sober day.
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251
It warmed back up again outside. Every time it does I think it’s the last nice day before it’s just cold but then they keep coming. At least we got to be out in the sun. Soon I’ll have to start taking vitamin D again. I started last winter and noticed a huge improvement in my energy and mood. SAD is no joke where I live.
Had dinner with my parents and brother. Then played the usual, Pictionary. It always gets us laughing. My bro seemed in good spirits. It’s hard to tell sometimes. Seems like his new job is working out well, aside from throwing his sleep schedule out of wack(overnights). I hope he adjusts and it doesn’t affect his schizophrenia 
He’s no good when that acts up.
Finished Hill House. Onto Bly Manor now. Have to work in the morning so just one episode, maybe 
See you in 24!
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@timetochange How are you feeling? Can the change in weather cause the flatness? Not getting enough sunshine gets me in a funky mood. I do hope you are able to take Thursday / Friday off. Sending you positive energy my friend.
@jennyh 40 days!! Hell yeah the days are stacking up. I know it’s a process in figuring out how to learn to sit with our feelings. Be gentle with yourself – know that ALL your feelings are valid. I know I went through a period of just crying for no reason without warming. I know the need / desire to want to be perfect. You are a great mom Jenny. Do take care to not overextend yourself. Only one of you love – living in a self created circle of always being perfect is utterly exhausting! ODAAT my friend – you are doing great.
@wakikki I am grateful to hear that you have been doing well for the most part. Were you able to get your anxiety calmed down today?
@frank68 well done on 1 week of sobriety! Great way to talk yourself into a meeting – that is awesome!
@butterflymoonwoman we have a different definition of relaxed day 
I do hope you enjoyed your day! That view of fresh snow is beautiful – a bit early for my liking lol but yeah the first snow is my favorite.
Grateful for your approach. Being aware of our stresses and planning on how to navigate them is key. Just remember that using your DOC does not offer any relief and that you are doing fantastic with your sober days
@noshame doing so well my friend – it did take me 6-8 months to stop the Nicorette gum. Listen to your body. For me, I started to chew regular gum in place and my mind thought it was getting the Nicorette. Maybe some hard candy or regular lozenges in the mix of using the lozenges may be of help. Glad you are seeing your health improve.
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@mreeclee Great to have you on this journey with us and a hell of a job on 4 days of sobriety! You should check out the Meditation thread
@catmancam hope you are not getting sick Cam. Hope you got a better nights sleep last night.
@zzz wow those rock statue’s look impressive. Thank you for sharing with us!
@chuckie22 ugly grey chilly day’s are meant to be spent snuggled on the couch – hope you enjoyed your nap and the movie.
@karenkw 19 days and counting – I am sorry that you are having such trouble. The cravings are strong at the beginning but they do lessen as you keep stacking on the days. Hang on Karen – you are a badass – keep kicking addictions ass! 
@mira_d thanks friend. 
Appreciate you! Hope you had a wonderful day.
@Mindofsobermike Hell yeah day 2 and wow that is a beautiful read! Remember those words and know that on this sober path you are healing your suffering. How did school go today? I know the early days are super hard and hope you had a day not filled with fighting urges. 
Checking in on Tuesday evening
307 days alcohol and weed free
722 days cigarette free
It was another super productive day. I am exhausted and fighting through my body issues but i am impressed with all that i accomplished. Did have to take a 3 hour nap this afternoon to recharge. I will be working tomorrow and hopefully that goes smoothly. Did have a few moments where checking out sounded good but hey I don’t do that anymore and i know that if my body needs a substance to keep me going then i am pushing myself way to hard and this is a sign to slow the fuck down. So grateful for all of you here and the support i receive from this community.
Hoping everyone had a wonderful addiction free day! Sending you all so much love
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I believe in you too!! Best reality here!
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Hey jazzy not day 2 unfortunately:( I didn’t make it school today I spent all the money I had from school since Friday I really am not ok
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Hey Mike - I know it’s late now but can you log into an online meeting? Get yourself to a meeting or your group for some support tomorrow?
I know the spiraling feelings you are feeling right now. Show yourself some compassion and love.
This monster will not get the best of you. I am so very sorry that you are struggling.
For tonight maybe take a hot shower. Try to get some sleep. Maybe a hot cup of tea? Have you tried meditating or doing a full body mindful scan combined with Deep breathing?
I know the addition has its hooks into you right now. I also know you are a strong young man full of life and can beat this. You have to find that drive within you.
Mike - we are here for you. Always ready to listen and lend a shoulder. Sending you much love my friend
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Thank you for being here
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Of course my friend. We got your back. Hope you are able to get some shut eye soon.
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1600
Slept longer and better. Happy with that as I feel I’m on the brink of a major depressive episode and if there’s one thing I need to fight that it’s good sleep. While at the same time lack of it is a typical symptom of depression.
Which always is the paradox with these f*cking depressions. The remedies are the things that are hardest to do. Exercise. Go out. Hike and bike. Prepare good food and eat it at regular times. Do house chores. Read. Do cultural stuff. Do whatever gets my clock ticking. And enjoy it goddamned! EDIT: Forgot to mention socializing. Of course. Hardest thing to do for me.
Both my individual therapist and my GP are on holidays right now so that’s not so great. On the other hand I really don’t like or want medication. While the last time sertralin wasn’t that bad TBH. Will see how my mood develops in the coming two weeks or so.
It’s the first time I get to experience it like this. Experience the full range of feelings and emotions and how to deal with them, using the tools i’ve learned since I became sober. No numbing. No cravings. I know exactly where using would lead me and I’m not going here. When I die I die but it will not be because of my stupid addicted mind.
I really dreaded having to work yesterday. But it turned out work is good for me. Talked to my manager about how I’m feeling. Work gave me some purpose. Occupational therapy for me. Thank god I feel pretty safe in my job and by and large I know what I’m doing. One late shift tonight, two days off after.
Let’s keep active yes. Like yesterday after work I went into town where I bought a fountain pen, some 40 years after I broke my last one, same brand, same look. Made me happy. As the autumn colours around made me glad too. One day at a time. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you can friends. Love from Amsterdam.
@Mindofsobermike You need your sober mind Mike. This path is taking you down. I know you know it but I still need to say it. You can do it. With 100% commitment. All in. No holding back. No secret escapes and back doors. Never again. ODAAT. And never crave alone. Much love friend.
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