Day 11 for me. First really serious attempt to be completely sober. I have to accept that I can not drink, not one drop, just like when I finally quit smoking (13 years ago) I had to accept that I can not smoke, not one puff.
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Thank you
I feel amazing from being sober
And today i get my day off 
from work
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Been there myself. Youāll be ready eventually. Probably after you get booted out of school and lose your place to live. Thatās what it took for me to actually be ready. Luckily I didnāt have kids at the time or I would lost them too.
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Second check in of the day. Just finished work, and have a ton of house work to do with no break time, and donāt really feel like doing it at the moment.
Old me a year ago would have gotten into beers to āmake getting started more enjoyableā, which as we know is way more of a problem than any kind of solution.
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Thibking of you. You are in a lot of pain. Hope you get the help you need soon.
I thibk to an extent you know what to do. At least where to start. Xoā¦
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Makes me so happy to hear & see You got this & inspire me as I think about quitting cigarettes.
Weed is a tough one. Some ways i think its harder to quit then other things bc the consequences arent so āobviousā. You on a great journey here, and hope you enjoy the day off 
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Compassion, love, empathy and understanding is the best way to communicate
Opinion is also a must but easiest way to communicate
Your wisdom is amazing though
My trust for you is there mr englishd
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Thank you mira d
Its because of people like you that i keep trying every day
I get up and keep trying
Including naps**
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HAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Sometimes ya gotta make yer own fun.
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Probably right w.e
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I messaged english when i was wasted one night years ago
He told me
Step 0 is putting the drinks and drugs down
Its a better and more helpful way of life mr mike
Just think about it ok
Naps are key during a bad day
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I honestly could care less what he has to say I need to just step back. Idk why Iām here posting anything
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I hope not. But I also understand where youāre at right now. You donāt want to hear shit from anyone. You want to wallow in self pity until the pain gets to be too much and thereās not a goddamn thing anyone can say to change that.
Exactly 6 years ago I felt the exact same way. A couple weeks later I realized I wasnāt going to kill myself, and apparently overdosing wasnāt going to kill me either so I was left with one choice. Get sober.
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Wow. 100 days. Im feeling proud, and more confident in myself then I have felt in a long time. Still things are rough, life is life and we only get one.
Im starting to feel the grief and letting it come. I feel sometimes like this is just a gap time, and like my sister is still there and part of me does feel like when we get to the end of this long road we will get her back. I dont know why it feels that way, and the realization that she is gone, hits me very hard. When she would not be well, which only happened a few times, we would sometimes have gaps. Maybe thats why it feels like after our efforts, she will be back.
I do believe in continuing to grow. Often we want to heal from the past, and maybe we haveā¦sometimes though, the big things they come up again and again. Not because we didnt try to resolve or heal earlier, but new stages in life and growth have us seeinf things a different way. I learned so much in my younger years of sobriety, grew so much and was able to build the life I have today - through so effort for sure, but also being ipen to the things and opportunities in front of me. Im still learning, and losing my sister and this round in the ring has opened my eyes to so many things, taught me new things about myself. I am truly amazed.
I so appreciate this space and all those who share, no matter where you are in your journey. To those struggling today, hang on. It does get better, stay the course. One of my fav sayings, a bit cheesy i know but Ill admit it to yaāll: shoot for the moon. Even if you dont get there youāll end up among the stars.
Xo. Happy 24 everyone.
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Not yet, supposedly Friday fingers crossed lol
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Mike, you were here when I joined 4 years ago, and I was happy to see you still around and doing so well when I came back. I ended up in that exact same mindset as you are now. I stopped posting. Then I stopped liking posts. Then I left altogether.
I went back out for 3 years. It was pure torture. I donāt want to see that happen to you. Youāve worked so hard already to throw it all away. I know Iām probably talking to a wall but I hope youāre hearing some of what weāre all saying.
Get well soon 
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Nobody feels normal. Sorry. But thatās not the point I want to make. Iāve been super anxious forever. And I numbed that anxiety with drugs and alcohol forever too.
Now Iām sober I got the chance to work on that anxiety and the other messed up stuff inside of me. The lost connection between my mind and body for example. I do that through psychotherapy. Talking therapy and more physical bodily therapy. And it works. My anxiety is seriously diminished. I learned to feel my body, my feelings, my emotions. Iāve become much more one instead of fractured.
My pont is this: I might be traumatized from youth (and I am pretty sure I am); what I am treating is the person I am now. Itās not about the past, although itās nice I learned a lot about the past and myself along the way. It is about me in the here and now, being less anxious and functioning better. Through therapy, through my job, through this place. Recovery. Discovery. Thereās no magic pill. Itās work. Hugs.
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Day 37:
Checking in earlier than normal, busy day, but still sober and plan on staying that way.
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@Wakikki That does sound overwhelming. Sending peace.
@Sunny11 Glad you are back. 
@Mindofsobermike Resignation will get you exactly that. You donāt need to step back. You need to step into group or a meeting. If you give up on yourself then there really is no hope. But you want to be around for your girls, right? You want to make something of your life? Be productive and happy in whatever way that means for you. So get this vicious cycle going the other way.
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Day 284.
Checking in. Sober.
I think Iām going through a bout of depression. Not exactly a surprise, considering everything. But Iām also trying to keep up with my recovery, meditation and work. Itās a struggle to get back into my normal routine. Iāve also been overeating. But stopped the over-shopping. So thereās that.
Tonight I went to see Killers of The Flower Moon. 3.5 hours is too fucking long to sit in the cinema. Itās a good movie, donāt get me wrong. But I wish Iād waited till it came to VOD, so I could take toilet breaks and refill my drinks and snacks while watching it.
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