I had a surprisingly energetic day. I got maybe 6 hours of sleep last night and thought I’d be dead by the end of work, but no. I just kept moving once I got home. Maybe bc I wasn’t a total couch potato on my days off.
Work has been a bit trying. Everybody is over it. Especially the few who’ve been there for years. We’re so close to our month long lay off that nobody cares about anything else. It doesn’t help that lately every event isn’t being communicated properly and we’re getting in trouble for not doing things right by the person who didn’t give us the correct information to begin with Trying to stay my optimistic self but it’s hard when everyone around you is miserable.
I’ve found myself short with my daughter a lot lately. She’s developed this ‘I know everything and that’s that’ kind of attitude and starts arguing over everything. Things that really don’t matter. I don’t know how to handle it. I’m a very laid back parent, but also, she’s always been so easy. I’m wondering if her hormones are already starting up Not ready for that roller coaster yet.
Gonna try to wind down with a movie now. Work in the morning again. Let’s all have a kick ass 24 hours!
I don’t have too many milestones to celebrate these days so I better celebrate the ones I do have. 3000 Days ago my journey started, on a whim, through a bet with my then bestie who said I could never quit smoking tobacco. But I did right there and then. Threw in quitting weed and hash as well. Which wasn’t that hard for me as all the positive effects from smoking had left years ago, as well as me having BPD traits such as strong black and white thinking has its advantages too. Also, in hindsight, some time before, drinking had taken over as my main DOC.
Seeing that I am truly addicted, that I am suffering from substance abuse disorder, took me a couple of years more. And than again it took me some time to finally act on the conclusion that as an addict I should quit using. Whatever substance and forever. Which is where I am now, 4.5 years in. There’s still some behavioural stuff too tackle. Been free from porn for something like three months now. I don’t do a counter for that as I feel its counterproductive.
My life has changed. I have changed. I established more of a connection between my brain and my body. I learned to recognise my feelings and therefore I learned to feel more. Which has made me understand other people much better. I learned about boundaries which aren’t the same as the walls I had build around myself.
I put in lots of work and I am no longer afraid to announce that and be proud of that. I will continue this work as there is no other way to have a good life, a life worth living. That goes for all of us, addicted or not. We’re in this together. That might be the biggest lesson I learned. Can’t do it alone. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Much love.
PS. Pic is me yesterday, right after a meeting for experience workers with my employer. Which was nice.
8 days,no drink. Usual day for me swimming, walk to work,walk home gym. Let’s see how today goes. Usually fine Thursdays,it’s Friday that is the hardest day
12 days in the bank.
Planned to go for a mtb ride but discovered I had a broken spoke from last weeks ride as I loaded my bike. Annoying and frustrating.
So instead of riding I was off to the local bike shop.
Had some nagging thoughts of drinking but held strong.
Back to work tomorrow hangover free.
22
Today my mind is taking the “what’s all the fuss about” route. My addiction isn’t that bad. It’s not real. Stop making such a fuss about it. Just go on with your life. There are more important things. There are more interesting things. It’s just food. It was made for eating. Everybody else can handle themselves around it. Stop whining…
I know it’s a trap
But it’s grating on my nerves. And there is a part of me that wants to believe this stuff
Congratulations on your 4,5 years into your journey @Mno and thank you for sharing it with us. Your posts always are a great source of inspiration and motivation.
Congratulations @Mno on all of it!!
3000 days, 4.5 years, 3 months
All lots of hard work and determination on your part while spreading inspiration and help to others along your journey. Happy for you and proud of you for your successes and your continuing satisfaction with the changes with your self.
@zzz I read a good bit of a post you wrote and wanted to reply that I so agree with what I read of what you wrote. Now I can’t find the post. Have a good day.
I just wanted to thank your for sharing your thoughts and experience in that post that disappeared.
It really helped me to change focus. I was focusing on stopping to feel bad and using exactly for this reason. But you helped me to switch to NOT using my DOC, because this is the only way to get rid of my mind’s constant preassure to consider using. Now I have a imediate reason NOT to use. Thanks again!
Yes I deleted it because I was talking more about alcohol addiction. Anyway, all addictions have a lot in comon and the principles and quitting protocols have a lot of similar pathways. Just after it I had read more of your post and found that your problem is not alcohol so to respect to You and to not make any confusion I deleted it. I know I could just have changed few points and as I said there are a lot in common in every addiction. We do it subconsciously, like a program or more like a virus…
On the end it is a slavery. By bringing that awareness, more of that consciousness into everydays life, actions, thoughts it all falls down on its own. You don’t want to be intoxicated anymore, you don’t want to eat junk food, you care about yourself more, automatically when you care about yourself you can really start to care about others, and in the same way carrying about others brings back that awareness to yourself as we all are connected.
By bringing that awareness, more of that consciousness into everydays life, actions, thoughts it all falls down on its own.
There are a lot of work to do with ourselves here, but I think to change our behaviours - we need to change inside first as any problem can’t be solved from the same conscious level in witch it was created in the first place. I think it is Einstein’s quote.
Anyway we are all connected and helping each other is one of the strongest tool to bring back that light into our lives and to be happy, loving and free
Day 173. Woke up at 7.55am and I start work at 8. My body wants to hibernate work is going well. Able to slow down and plan for next year. I’m working over Christmas and new rear but time off end of January. All good.
Trying to stay my optimistic self but it’s hard when everyone around you is miserable.
Not ready for that roller coaster yet.
work is going well. Able to slow down and plan for next year. I’m working over Christmas and new rear but time off end of January. All good.