57 days in the bank
Checking in early today, still a 6hrs or so till my counter ticks over, but I’m on nightshift tonight so will be sober.
Last night was a busy one, got home and after saying good morning to the kids went straight to sleep for a few more hours.
Tomorrow’s a public holiday here so will be a good family day before the kids start back at school next week
Thanks James, Pavolov and Squid. Feeling better. I did some yoga and then set up my weight room. Turned the negative energy into something positive.
day 696 of no self harm.
family being shitty as usual.
when told to help with the dishes “all you bitch ass kids come help” and then an uncle goes “little bastards”. i just want to be referred to with respect . then I’m shaking because im near a panic attack in a crowded kitchen but also have to stand for about 30 minutes and I can only stand 5 without my legs going totally numb and my heart rate is like 120 and I’m dizzy and I had to ask permission to sit down. maybe it’s my fault for not being open about my health but I don’t think they’d accommodate for me anyway
earlier I tried to talk not even to this uncle and this uncle goes “trying to watch the game here keep the talking to a minimum”.
there were many other instances of being treated like I’m less. I’m so tired.
Hi everyone…
I’m on here less and less now but I came on because I’m really scared. Im scared for my dad. He’s really stressed. He’s using again and Ik this sounds like a good thing but for some reason it scares me sm…he admitted that he’s “stuck” and can’t get out. Idk if that’s progress bc he like never opens up and although this was minimal, or seems like if he’s that bad that he’s finally breaking down and telling us what’s in his head he must really be hurting. in a way I’m proud of him in another I’m scared, really really scared. He is using just to get through the day and it hurts me and the rest of us am to see him struggling. He was really depressed today. A lot happened lately and I think he’s having trouble coping. He hasn’t laughed or made a joke. I’m afraid but with my mental health being so much better I don’t know whether to put all my focus on this or on me. I want to balance the two but idk how. I have no control over my dad’s sobriety… Tips???
Day 475
Have an early morning, so I’m heading to bed. I hope I can get sleep.
Love y’all.
@Jules000 only advice I can give is to tell him you are there if he wants help, but also if he isn’t ready, that you can’t and won’t try to make him. When he is ready, maybe you can take him to a meeting or if necessary to a rehab.
Sending lots of love your way.
Day 713 Evening
Work was alright but dragged on. On the way home, I had a craving to use my DOC. All I have to say is that I better not be entering the same sort of phase i was in awhile back. Where i craved everyday, almost all day, for like 3 weeks. Couldnt explain why either. Today the craving went away fairly quickly but it was there and stronger than usual. I feel it has something to do with the weather. Spring and fall are my weather triggers for using drugs. And even tho its not spring technically, the weather today sure felt like it.
Ate better today. Not perfect but better than I have been. I set a goal for myself to get myself in better shape (5lb loss a month). Not sure if I will make this goal for January but Ill find out when i do my monthly weigh in next week. Am also going to get a Body Scan done at the gym next week. Excited to see what information I can find from that. Just finished a quick shower and now putting my son to bed. When I look at my son, any urge to use washes away. Im so grateful that he will never know me as an active drug user. Sooo grateful to be clean. No matter what, dont pick up! Work again tmrw. Hope everyone has a great evening!
@Cat10 welcome back 
congrats on day 2 
@Catmama23 sending you strength as you navigate these challenging times 🩵 I’m so glad meditation is really working for you 
also congrats on your month AF and the interview request 
@Dilettante congrats on 6 months
@Deeh I hope you enjoyed the concert, the Foo Fighters are amazing! 
@MeSober welcome back I hope the withdrawals pass quickly
@Misokatsu thank you 🩵
@Lotusflower thank you 🩵
@JazzyS thank you congrats on 400 days no alcohol or weed I really hope your doctor has some answers/ideas at your next appointment 🩵
@Frank68 congrats on triple digits 
@acromouse thank you 🩵 I’m not very talented at any of it, but I enjoy the process. I do like using air-drying clay to make something and then paint it and use glitter 
congrats on your 3 week milestones and I hope you enjoyed clubbing
@Amy30 I’m sorry you’re feeling so fragile bills are extra sucky atm 
sending strength 🩵
@tryingthisagain sorry about the roach, I hope that issue is resolved asap 
but congrats on 3 weeks
@Chevy55 congrats on 3 weeks
@ForrestKump congrats on all the 2s
@Jimz that’s amazing news 
thanks for sharing.
@Louloubelle congrats on 200 days
@Violagirl congrats on 30 days I try not to look too far ahead, but I do know that it will be better than the before times, because it already is
@Noshame I hope you got home and got some sleep.
@Naomi I’m sorry about your dad’s bad news glad you could all be together to be there for him 🩵
@Ofmiceandroach congrats on 3 weeks
@Jasty2 glad you’re okay
@Tragicfarinelli congrats on 30 days
@SolarEclipse sorry you’re struggling sending strength amd hoping to congratulate you on 30 days in a few days time 🩵
@Davina_Davis congrats on 30 days
1265 days no alcohol.
730 days no cocaine.
245 days no vape.
10 days no binge-eating.
I didn’t make it to the gym Friday, because a delivery that was supposed to all come together Saturday, got split and some came Friday. I also was light-headed and dizzy all day, and fading in and out of not quite sleep, this followed 9 nights of barely any sleep. Friday night I got a few good hours.
Yesterday, I went for a walk, in a different city, with Safe Soulmates, I got the train there and it only took 35mins. I was really looking forward to it, it had been months since I’ve seen that group, it was just me, and another Soulmate, then one facilitator, and we did a 5 mile walk along a river, it was such a nice bright day, and quiet too.
When I agreed to the walk I forgot about Saturday’s delivery, but I got home a few hours before it arrived in the end anyway, so it all worked out.
The Art course start date has been postponed to the 26th Feb-10th June, luckily I can still do all the sessions.
I have been successfully watching a mixture of my favourite TVs show, without bingeing crisps (chips), and I’m feeling really good/peaceful about this.
I ran out of likes 12 posts ago, sorry about that.
Wishing you all wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
@steve92 How is your day going Steve? I am sorry that the depression is still kicking around. I know it takes some time for the new meds to kick in. Sending you strength to get through the limbo time as your body adjusts to the new meds. Here for you friend. 
@alejondra ooh YES!! Cookies are a great go to… mine was ice cream. Our bodies try to replace the sugar we used to get from the alcohol. A day without drinking is a day won! Be super proud of yourself.
@jimz sorry that you are being tested today friend. Talk to us if we can help you out in any way. Love the positive attitude – you will not let this bullshit addiction beat us 
@catmama23 fingers crossed Lauren — excited for your job interview request. I am so sorry to hear about the health issues. I totally get the frustration with having to deal with health concerns. I do hope that its nothing serious and that you are able to heal quickly. 
@jules000 I’m sorry friend – It is difficult watching someone you love active in addiction. Unfortunately, we are not able to force our loved ones into sobriety. You can help them by being available to them – giving them options for support and recovery. Hopefully he has someone he can talk to (doctor / therapist) to help with the depression. Are you able to attend a Al Anon meeting for yourself?
@catmancam thanks Cam. Congrats on your double digits of no binge eating friend. So happy to hear that you did meet up with your Safe Soulmates group and had a wonderful time.
Checking in on Saturday night
402 days free of alcohol and weed
807 days free of cigarettes
didn’t get much done today. physically not good but mentally i’m awesome. hoping to get to bed soon and have a much better Sunday
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening! Sending you all so much love
awe thanks friend - this made me laugh 
Day 27:
Staying sober and still keeping to myself. Life is pretty routine right now, but that’s exactly what I need. Throwing myself into working out, keeps my mind occupied and I’m determined to get into the best shape I’ve ever been in to hopefully prevent turning 50 this fall! Went to my boot camp this morning, good day with my kids, home for a 45 minute Peloton ride, that bike is my therapy. It’s crazy, but I work out a lot of emotions on those rides. It’s also addicting as hell or maybe that’s just my addictive personality. Saturday night, home alone and it’s exactly where I want to be.
Going to a new restaurant for brunch tomorrow with my kids, will hit the Peloton for another therapy session and then try to get some work done around the house while watching the football games. I sometimes miss socializing, but for now, getting ok with myself is top priority.
Stay sober, sweet dreams!
Tips?
I’m watching my wife’s drinking progress more and more each day. It’s not as bad as it was.
I am taking care of myself. I’m going to Al-Anon meetings 4-6 times a week so I can learn to take care of me and not worry myself sick about my wife, of 40 years, drinking herself to death. It’s so hard. Going to Al-Anon has been saving my life. Al-anon.org.
And if you’re interested we got a thread here
Are you affected by a loved one who’s an addict?
Where others have shared there experiences strength and hope or just to vent and get it off their chest. There is also Al-Anon for children of alcoholics. You know it’s a family disease.
I’m sorry you are going through this with a loved one. It sucks!
Day 14
Woke up feeling sick today. Called off work and also called off work for tomorrow too.
There was a moment earlier i was throwing up and my vision was blacking out, face was tingling and i was getting severe hot/vold flashes, i thought i was going to pass out so that was super fun but luckily I was fine.
Ate a couple hours ago and theres been no issues there. Just physically feel terrible with body aches/weakness. But grateful to have the day off regardless lol. And gratful i dont have to work tomorrow.
Hope everyone is doing well
381 days sober. I need to catch up on here. No desire or urges to drink. As I have read of others often - the decision to refrain from alcohol is easy. It’s just knowing that with the choice to have 1 drink, any chance of control is gone.
My mood has been pretty low, lately. Trying my best to do what I can to turn it around. Fresh air, trying to eat properly. Really stuck in a rut and it’s a lot to do with sitting with uncomfortable feelings and memories of while I was drinking. I try to tell myself that that’s the past and can’t be changed. There’s the present and future. Just so much regret, guilt and shame. Time lost. I have been making a point to practice gratitude daily. It does help.
Just throwing my thoughts and feelings here in case anyone can relate. Or suggestions accepted. Brighter days ahead.
I totally understand, its hard when we think about the past.
I think of things I am grateful for daily. And when I start thinking about things negative I tell myself to start thinking positive again…sobriety is a long journey and i think its important to condition our minds to find positive things in our lives. Sending you lots of love 🫶🏻
Late night day 26 check in. Wishing everyone a good rest of the weekend.
This inspires me - amazing work on the greenhouse model!
So today must be your day 200, congrats Patricia!! 
