Thank you friend. I know its not easy to deal with these symptoms and feelings and believe me I have my moments to scream and hit just to get through it. Just don’t give up love – it has to get better. Glad the box breathing helped and you were able to somehow enjoy the movie with your son. I do hope that you will be able to pick up the EMDR soon enough. I am hopeful that it will help you and you will feel some relief from this intense symptom soon 
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Great work on all your sober time friend. I do have moments of low motivation and do suffer from chronic fatigue so do find myself sleeping a lot. If you find this behavior odd and lingering then possibly check in with a doctor. It may be as simple as a vitamin deficiency. Sometimes my body just needs a bit of down time to recharge. 
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@Twizzlers thank you so much 
🩵 congrats on your week 
@DanaM56 sorry about your pain 
I do hope it subsides. So glad to read about you spending time with your grandchildren though 🩵
@JazzyS thank you 🩵 congrats on the reopening 
@BrOKenWolf congrats on 850 days and your promotion
@Mira_D it dossn’t sound silly at all, I feel so much lighter each time I declutter. I’m definitely going to be being more conscious now of what I allow into my home too, and try to make this a regular thing and keep reassessing what I really need to keep
@acromouse I’m definitely planning to sort through my clothes, on my own if we dont get around to it on Friday, I’ve discovered today I’ve got clothes in places I don’t even remember storing them! 
@Englishd I hope your move goes well for you
@CleanHeart congrats on 30 days
@Butterflymoonwoman I am so pleased to read that you are your son are home so glad he’s recovering and you can get some sleep 🩵
1324 days no alcohol.
789 days no cocaine.
304 days no vape.
49 days no binge-eating.
Woke up early, read another long chapter, then swept and mopped the bathroom and kitchen floors.
My brother and dad came this morning, to take a sofa away and put the sofa my brother has given me in, it’s so nice, and he also re-gifted me a soundbar, it’s so cool, I’m actually looking forward to going in the lounge to watch TV to try it out. The sofa they took out is now in my garage, along with the 2 TV stands that were where the soundbar now is, it does look so much nicer in there now. I’m grateful.
The decluttering lady came. We did get rid of a lot of stuff, but the spare room still looks cluttered to me, and is still not functional as a room. I’m going to try to do more in there tomorrow and Thursday, because when she comes back on Friday, we are going to do the kitchen, and potentially my clothes! (There are way too many).
🩵
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Day 85
Hi All, Normal day, get up, work, watch TV and go to bed. I always read here so many people eat well, healthy, or at least try to. A lot work out, get stuff done, etc.
I eat like shit, it’s not that I don’t have food, I do. Yet I don’t eat much healthy. I never work out, most of the time I can barely move.
I do walk my dog Buddy 2x a day, not very long, he’s 11 and previously had knee surgery, but that takes everything out of me. I have zero motivation to move. It would be so awesome if I could declutter and clean everything up. I keep the kitchen clean and I mainly live in the front room, except when I sleep.
What’s wrong with me?? Does anyone else feel like this? Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one, so I haven’t contributed much here lately. I do take meds for depression, but I think it’s more than that, idk.
Sorry about being a downer, it’s not who I am.
Just frustrated at me. 
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I saved this after I did it. Thank you! 
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@Lighter better days are ahead! I too, have days where I have to remind myself of how bad things were. #ODAAT.
@Charlie_C busy is good! Congratulations on 16 days. 
@maxwell I feel that way sometimes. Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere. I also take meds for my mental health, and I still find myself in the slums. Better days are ahead.
@Tomek sorry to hear that, hope you start to feel better. I’m happy that you’re able to be present for the kiddos, too! I start feeling like a shit bag sometimes for the things I missed out on with them and for them witnessing me being a piece of shit. Anyway, get well, better days are ahead!
@Sara.eve congratulations on all of your accomplishments, 7 months without a cigarette?!?!? Wheww! That’s amazing. really want to put my vape down, but I’m taking it one thing at a time.
@Twizzlers way to go on Day 7 & thanks again for sharing the breathing box!
Day 97… today was a good day. Taking things one day at a time, unlearning old behavior, praying, reading, and getting in tune with the sober Kenny. I found out today that one of my buddies I made it treatment has been back in treatment twice since I’ve left in January. He almost lost his life the second time, that was not something I wanted to hear. I hope he’s okay in treatment and realizes he has a purpose. As I lay here with my wife rubbing my head, I am so thankful for all the big and small things that aligned in my life. Goodnight, my people.
#ODAAT
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@Sara.eve I’ve been feeling the same way lately. I honestly think it’s the weather. Not sure of your location, but spring is rather late here and I’m still in hibernation mode. Happy, just tired. Today was much nicer out, and I was out of the house early for an appointment, and I ended up with loads of energy all day. I’m thinking from the sun. I’m realizing right now that I’ve been slacking on taking my vitamin D, which really seemed to help last year around this time. Just a thought for you? 
@maxwell You’re not being a downer. And you’re not the only one. I’ve been sober over a year and there’s so much I think about wanting to get done, but I just can’t start. The essentials are kept clean, but there’s corners and closets that haven’t seen the light of day in years. The thought of it all as a whole seems to paralyze me from starting just one thing. I try to stay positive tho, and at the end of the day, I try not to think about what I haven’t gotten done, and be happy with what I did. If the only accomplishment of my day is not drinking, that’s all that matters. Focus on the good
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Sorry that you haven’t been feeling well. I have been there with my wife. I cheated on her one time and was honest with her and i absolutely regreted it. I tried so hard to gain her trust back. We got married in 2022 I really had hope that once we wed things would improve in 2023 I got tried of trying and started using again after 4 years clean. I beat myself up so bad for years because she didn’t trust me. In November of last year we split and are getting divorced. She now admits that she didn’t really ever try to trust me and has started therapy which is great and i am proud of her. I am also again with a new gf and we both are improving. I tell you this because I hope that it doesn’t push you to the point of giving up like it did me. Sometimes we can do everything they want us to but if they dont want to accept it and forgive us then we will never do enough. Dont let it cause a relapse I wish you the best
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Day 8
No Alcohol
No Smoke
Came to office, Having nice cup of coffee, Day was really refreshing and i slept 7 hours yesterday and it was a very good relaxing sleep after a long time.
I’m grateful for the happiness im getting. Have 6 hours work, after back to home
Hope you all doing very well !!
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1754
Counting down to my holidays. Three work days left. I really need some time for myself and my own mental health. Work needs to be done there as I feel the threat of falling back into old unhealthy patterns. I feel my body especially needs love and nurture somehow. I know my mind will follow. I’m tense.
At least I am 1000% sure fleeing into substance abuse wouldn’t help. Never again. Have as good a day as you all can friends. I will. Sober and clean. Love.
@CATMANCAM Sounds to me like a very productive day friend. Just keep going. ODAAT as in all.
@Butterflymoonwoman Happy you’re all home Dana.
@Twizzlers So happy you’re here and working your sobriety and life my friend X
@Lighter Thanks for checking in and sharing how to cope with less good feelings too Marie. Good days and less good ones.
@Juli1 
@Tomek Some good progress there my friend. Keep going.
@Sara.eve Give me some of your sleep! You feel good and you love life right? Sounds like you’re doing ok lady. Keep living and enjoying it. ODAAT.
@Amy30 Love you too 
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405
Ugh. You know what sucks? Writing 30 birthday invitations. My hands do not enjoy excessive writing anymore. I had to stop bc it was just getting too messy, plus the pain. It’d be nice to have a computer, but if I did I’m sure my printer would be broke.
Today was actually pretty great. Got outside early, in the sun, and then kept a steady momentum the rest of the day. Definitely crossed a few things off the list already. Gotta regroup for tomorrow and put what’s left in order of importance. Like Easter stuff bc I have nothing. It’s so early this year. Once that and my daughter’s birthday are over, it’s easy sailing til Christmas. Noice 
My neck it still bothering me pretty bad so I’m gonna get to bed and relax. Night 
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Here today, much pain in hands and feet. Going back to bed now and not medicating rest is truly the best medicine for me
I don’t and do not, have not indulged in any illegal drugs or legal narcotics . It’s many years of sobriety that have kept me sane.
Sometimes i do wonder, why don’t i at least use the legal ones such as lyrica but, anything to cause me to numbout is unacceptable
I’m focused on living to the fullest but in occasion, i must sleep it off.
Thanks for listening
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 28.
Had to check the timer three times before I started to write because it didn’t seem right 
I guess I thought it was going to be more difficult to stay sober this time. I don’t know who I always think that.
Anyway.
The museum was a lit of fun yesterday. The boys ended up buying mouth harps and believe it or not, this far they’ve managed to play everything from Baby Shark to the star wars intro. It was a fun ride home
We’ve changed the plans because my husband promised Ma that he should bring smoked salmon on Friday. So we’re going to Gothenburg today instead, so we all can stay home and prepare tomorrow.
But first we’re going to visit the village street fair market.
Yesterday before the museum my husband went to his doctors appointment. The new doctor which now will be his main doctor, agreed with me that the previous doctor must have missed something important. Unfortunately he thinks that it’s not only a back injury, but also something more serious. We’re glad that they’re checking, and hope they won’t find anything to bad.
But that’s another day’s worrying.
Really looking forward to today’s visit at the Kawaii store and Asian supermarket. A little bit upset because they’ve removed to free toilets so now you have to pay $1 / person to pee, no matter where in Gothenburg you go. I get it, but with that, the city car tax you have to pay while Entering the inner city with a car, and the hideous parking fees I wouldn’t say it’s really tourist friendly.
I’d recommend you guys to come touristing in my village instead. We got nothing but a nice river, but at least you can pee for free at the library when it’s open, and you can park your tractor (Yes I mean farm tractor) wherever you want for free 
Sharing a picture from the museums “old fashioned play store” my 12 y/o in it, got a bit roasted, among all the old things there was a CD and a CD player displayed. Never realized it barely excited during my kids lifetime.
And another picture with my 14 y/o and a crane bird from the Cheese store.
There’s a huge lake with hundreds of Cranes nearby that city, it’s a huge tourist attraction during the spring. Unfortunately we didn’t have the time to visit that lake yesterday, but we might do it during Easter if the weather is nice.
Wishing you all a wonderful day.
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Day 277. Woke up early … So listening to the cocteau twins and having a coffee
I haven’t done much with my week off yet. Just trying to slow down… I am so looking forward to some sunshine. It’s still cold in Cornwall.
I’m staying humble. I had two and a half years sobriety then was off the wagon for three years? That’s still scary for me. The knowing how easy it was to relapse but how hard it was to then stop again
Hope u all have a good day folks. I may go for a long dog walk along the promenade
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Thank you.
I agree, everytime you can dress up is a good time.
I celebrate everything if I get the opportunity. Doesn’t matter which origin it has as long as it’s fun.
When I worked at the local school during falk I had a super cute little girl go on and on about Halloween. Which isn’t really a thing here yet.
After a few minutes her friend goes “What’s the thing with you and Halloween anyway? Can’t you like something like… Easter”
Same girl goes: Are you kidding me? I get to dress out to something really really spooky, scare the s**t ouy of the kids I don’t like, Get free candy and I don’t need to say Thank you for gifts I don’t like, I love Halloween and Easter, it’s better than Christmas"
That girl was gold
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@J_Lo_Ste Sorry to hear about your pain. I hope it passes soon. Do you have any tips how to deal with pain without medication?
@Mno I hope you get to take care of yourself soon. Maybe something small is possible already today? A small kindness?
@s_unrelax Sounds like you’re already reading the benefits of sobriety 
@maxwell Please believe me: We all feel like that for stretches in our lives. It’s absolutely ok to take your time. But if this is bothering you, try to find out what you need to change things. Listen to your needs. Try something and see if it helps. And share
@CATMANCAM My husband is moving out right now. This and your shares really trigger an itch in me to get rid of old stuff
@Butterflymoonwoman Pamper yourself away 
@Lighter That’s the spirit!
@Tomek Hope your cold passes soon. You already have the baked goods. I’m sending you tea 
@Sara.eve You feeling good? Than just take your time. Your body is telling you what it needs. If you live in a place with spring coming right now, it could be just that. In German there is even a long word for “Frühjahrsmüdigkeit” 
@JazzyS We’re all here hoping your pain will be a matter of the past soon. Do you maybe have resources on how to deal with pain without medication?
126 sugar
24 UPF
10 PF
10 overeating/binge
Goals for today: not eating after supper time, setting up a good schedule for the day, setting a timer for HALT and prayer breaks, keeping food journal, mindful eating, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
More game design studies today. I’m very excited. This is a very different kind of work in my game development process than dealing with software modelling. I get to think about very different things and I’m realising it scratches a long-standing itch in my creative part of the mind. Love it.
I want to get on the rower today. See if I can get into rowing. In the past I always found it to boring, but it would be a good supplement to my yoga routine, targeting different muscle groups and energy systems.
Not much else planned but living a life of recovery 
Stay in peace, kindness and freedom friends 
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116 days
Was in a bit of a funk all day. Achieved a few things but also was just meh all day.
Got to the gym this evening for some sparring, I think this may have been partly the cause of feeling low today, I was just waiting and killing time before I could go to the gym.
Need to fill my day better maybe.
Back to work tomorrow day shift so no need to worry about finding things to fill my day tomorrow
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57 days AF
The new study / education is quite intense 
Nothing new about the apartment stuff,
just, that I do breath.
And hang out in the gap @Soberbilly 
Sunny day everyone 
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Checking-In Sober.
Time Capsule. Friend send me old footage. Wooow that was a bummer to see
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