No gym, hike nor bike today brother. As a matter of fact, it was even a nice day and I sat on me arse for the most of it…
That all said, I do dig your vibe my friend… keep speaking the gospel my man!! 
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506 
chilling watching fallout tv show on prime
When to chronic pancreatitis clinc other day got to have a new NJ feeding tube fitted 
same time as when they do the endoscopy thankfully asleep 
Apparently not much at all left of my pancreas so I said whip it out then 
to my consultant he said you don’t want make would create more problems
I said to him if it’s gone why do much pain he said with chronic pancreatitis it fucks up all the nerves in that area apparently
Will have to stay in a bloody week to make sure don’t get refeeding syndrome the joy hate hospital
Happy sober Thursday everyone
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Always can do that my friend. I met a friend for coffee, after a bit the noise inside started getting to him (PTSD), so we went outside and sat on the lawn chatting for another half an hour in the beautiful sunshine.
And drinks at a bar isn’t necessary either. My sons in university and he meets friends at a coupe local places and he said half of them just have soda or water… servers don’t care as long as there’s a tip for running ya your drinks… lol.
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Lovely share, Kenny, thanks! I love your positive vibes here!
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Day 453.
Checking in sober. Love you guys
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Tomorrow will mark a week sober! Unpopular opinion, but man, I LOVE crying. I’m sure a lot of you can relate though in sobriety all those feelings that are suppressed finally coming out. It is so cleansing. I’ve always had a hard time with not crying enough and that’s probably because I’ve always been under the influence of something. It made me so deeply numb. I just blasted the song homecoming queen By Kelsea ballerini and it always makes me feel like I am singing to my younger self and lots of tears were shed. 
much needed release. Just went on a drive, my dad paid a friend of him and his girlfriends to come and do a deep clean of my tiny home because I asked if she could so I picked everything up off the floor and stuff to make it easier so I’m excited for an actual deeper cleaning to be done. Just spending some time alone in my car now and letting myself feel the feels while the rain falls and watching the cows. Very relaxing. Going to shower after this and get comfy and rest, I am still in the heavily exhausted part of recovery. From what I remember it’s intense in the first week, still there a bit in the second and then gets better by the third? Hope everyone has a peaceful sober day as well. 🫶🏻
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Very fair point mate. It just takes a while to deconstruct all those experiences which involved alcohol in your head you know? Making new memories one experience at a time. I’m glad for your son, I hope mine grows up sober or at least does not go off the deep end like I did!
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Yeah, I’ve been still quashing them all down I suspect.
Yeah, not sure how the booze skipped him. Even played hockey for past 15 years and sported the C aptain and A ssitant many of those years. Never bought into the beer culture that much amongst hockey boys.
He always had his head in his shoulders right. Works two jobs, full time student, has a car and his own apartment… he’s doing well
His best friend signed in the NHL a couple
Years back…. Guess he had a good friend group also…
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Hey Elisabeth. It does feel good, and is habit-forming 
Things don’t feel quite right until I make it official. And the community aspect of it makes a huge difference to me. Glad you’re here!
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Checking in, I’ve had to reset due to intense emotional pain and made a stupid decision.
So one day for me.
I hope you all have a good day, I’m feeling very remorseful. 
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I’m so glad you came back right away. We do this together; no need to suffer alone. 
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Congratulations on 60 days!!
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Day 1,287 of continuous sobriety.
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Congratulations Sebastian, well done 
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Nice. I have a tens. Those are awesome
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They work amazing
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Day 2
Can feel myself shrinking into a depressive state, idk 
Feel like i should go to muay thai class tonight because i havent been in a while, but that also feels pressuring, if not then i should go for a run, but i work a double tomorrow and i dont want to leave the house right now, i just want to enjoy the last of my hours of today while i still have freedom
The urge to drink is creeping its way in and i just want to curl into a ball
I hate how stupid and difficult this is
I feel like i cant do this and it just makes me feel more pathetic lol
Like it shouldnt be that hard to just not consume something, right?
But everything is too much and i just wanna escape it man, idk. I just need breaks from reality this shit is too much sometimes
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Awe, that’s so nice! Put a smile on my face for you 
Great job at doing a great job!
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nothing pathetic or stupid about it Zoe – the addiction is real and strong.
i can understand not having the energy to go out for your class or a run but can you do something like a zoom meeting or if you want we can chat here. Anything to keep your mind occupied while this urge passes. Drink something cold (this helped trick my mind too). I used to drink sparkling water from my wine glass cause just holding it made me think i was getting what i needed. I know this may not be ideal for everyone but it worked for me.
Addiction is hard to overcome and you are not alone – lean on us. We have all gone through this / are going through this.
Just remember that alcohol offers nothing of substance and takes away everything of substance. Here for you
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