277 days
Busy day at work. Was good, made the day fly by. Got someone to come relieve me early so i could make it through the traffic to the gym. Had a session myself and picked up the kids who were already there.
Another day shift tomorrow.
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The start of day 4.
Coffee and no hangover. 
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@ASP Nice job stacking the sober days 
@MrsOdh That Trunk or Treat thing sounds really nice. Iām looking forward to more tales about it.
@SoberWalker Itās OK to be grumpy once in a while. Pervasive pain sucks. Get well soon 
@Dustysprungfield Good to hear you are in a good place after your struggles. We need both reminders from time to time: That all the bad stuff shall pass, but also what it means to be at day 0 again.
@Just_Laura Wow, that sounds alike a lot. I mean: a lot! Your days usually are so busy and now this on top of your normal work load 
Hope you find a good way to cool down your system and stay balanced 
@Mno Enjoy your vacations with your friend and keep sending us pretty pictures please 
@DanaM56 I remember we once went go kart racing for some kind of party. I really enjoyed it a lot. But my back on the next day was so sore 
I feel you.
@AZeke Sounds like you are working your tools, connecting here, getting the support you need. Good work 
287 sugar
151 UPF
25 gluten
25 dairy
Iām very glad it cooled down significantly, instead we are having galons of rain. My daughter is still overtly sensitive to noise and canāt attend school, so Iām trying to come up with some stuff she can do by herself at home, which is quite a drain on my time. But thatās life.
Stuff to do today, coupleās counseling later in the afternoon, and a regular Recovery Dharma meeting Iām co-hosting this evening.
Letās keep our hearts and minds open, loving life as it is 
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Yesterday was a good day body wise, felt integrated in myself despite the gym sessions really hurting. Luckily Iām not too sore today despite this, as I have yoga and Pilates class shortly. Iām throwing myself back into these classes for the mind and body element. My focusing on doing only hardcore cardio and strength training was effective for body conditioning, but I realise that I need the slowness of other disciplines as well. I was silly to stop my twice weekly body balance. The recent back ache just compounded that thought! 
Sleep is still allusive despite being dog tired most days. Iām working on the rigid sleep routine again now. Strict lights out and wake up time. The only problem being that almost every day I lie awake for about an hour or two after lights out and then wake up at least two hours before my alarm. 
It will happen hopefully.
Iāve signed up for an intensive 6 week course starting next Monday to work on my inner self. Itās weekly group therapy sessions with similar people who come from alcoholic, dysfunctional, abusive and narcissistic upbringings. Iām excited to do the work. Scared to be seen, but also excited. Iāve decided to rename my nervousness as excitement as they almost feel the same.
Itās the simple things in my day to day life that show that I really need to do this work. Yesterday we got a food delivery and the driver delivering kind of immediately ran off when my partner accepted it at the door. All the bags were wet and clearly dripping, and it turned out a bottle of vitamin liquid and another bottle had smashed all inside. The bags started to drip sticky liquid all over the carpets and table and the cats started walking through it. Broken glass was all inside the bags and over the food. I was immediately trying to help out and take some stuff to wash bits down in the sink and to make sure no-one got cut.
It arrived literally just after lunch, there were still a few bits around from me cooking and so that wasnāt ideal, and my partner got snappy with me for being in the way and the mess. I was calm at first and continued trying to help, but then we got into this passive aggressive exchange of words and then she mirrored my previous sentence but in a really sarcastic wayā¦ Well I lost it. Before I knew it, I was being super aggressive and pointing and angry and saying "donāt you dare fucking talk to me that way"etcā¦ and she was like āare you serious?ā.
Sadly, in that moment, I was deadly serious and couldnāt get down from the ledge. Reactionary bullshit from years of being put down and shouted at and manipulated and cross talked 
. It was ok in the end after we both cooled off and talked about it and I explained why I have these horrible anger issues below the surface. But it is rough to know that about yourself. And to know Iām a hairās width from explosion in some situations is really hard. Gahhh. Iām most the time very calm and even.
This is why I need to heal those parts. I donāt want to be this way. It is also why sober is the ONLY WAY for me. Drunk me had no chance.
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Day 1355,
I had this book lying for months now. Procrastinating to start reading it, I just started reading already have goosebumpsā¦.
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Thank you all for checking my well being. Iām today for far more better place than yesterday and yes, the meds truly helped (Iām under professional care). So, on forward! You rock, guys!
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Day 438. Feeling focused again. Feeling better about not wanting a beer. Jesus itās like an unwelcome guest just floating around being a pain
I prefer this version of me. The benefits are vast. I donāt need beer. It can f@ right off
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Checking in day 170.
Hope everyones having a good week
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Hey all, checking in on day 1543. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 2357. Yesterday I was downsized. Sometimes the universe gives you what you need. I loved what i did for work, I didnt like the buisness decisions the owner made. I was contemplating starting a job search, but also I realized that the grass isnt greener on the othet side of the fence.
I agree the owner needed to downsize his staff, his decisions with the buisness did nothing but erode sales. A very tiny part of me disagrees that I should have been pickedā¦I was picked because my annual raise was due and he couldnt affoard to give it to me.
Part of me feels like I should really be mad. Anger wont do a darn thing.
Looks like I get more time with the grandbaby!
Stay sober friends!
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Iām sorry youāre are downsized and thanks for your share on how you deal with it. Reminds me of the periods companies I worked for announced re-organisations. It totally blew me of my feed, fear, they found out who I really am and will sack me thoughts. They never sacked me , it was me eventually that did it by drinking and leaving out of shameā¦
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@JazzyS 
day 11 and with determination. I had a relapse dream but I am dealing well with it and not paying attention
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I have no idea what I was thinking. Itās much better today.
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It was fun in the fleeting moments. Iām much better today.
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5 months sober!!
Itās been a weird day here where everything that could go wrong went wrong all at once knocking my whole day out of wack. But I made the best of it and my mood has kept up. My best friend came for dinner to celebrate 5 months sober with me! We had a nice time and Iām feeling proud of myself.
And we had our first snow of the season today! Winter has officially begun!
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Day 934
Another gorgeous day out today. Nice and cool 
Got my workout done for the day and now just heading home to get ready to go out again to the mall to pick up my dads bday gift. Then home to sweep, mop, and vacuum floors. Thats about it. Would like to get a meditation in today also along with some prayer. Have a fabulous addiction free day everyone 
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Day 44
Having a tough mental day. No motivation to do anything.
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5 months OH YEA.
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