Checking in day 422 AF
Managed to get in a workout today and spent some time with my daughter in law. It was nice but I’m still leery wondering why she’s being so nice. There is no discussion of issues from the past with her or my son so it’s hard to read the reason behind the shift. Trying hard not to over think it because it’s allowing me time with my grandkids.
One more vacation day and then back to work. I’m really dreading that. The time away has been nice.
Work today was alright. I’m struggling just a bit to keep drinking off my mind today, maybe it’s the stress? I’ve been trying to just roll with it. today was one of those nice warm summer days, I thought about trying N/A beer to see if it helps but I don’t think it’s a good idea while thinking about drinking. it feels like it would be a slippery slope.
@acromouse they’re a little bigger than 5x5 and weigh 1300-1500 lbs
I enjoyed the hay puns stuff like that makes my day
196 days sober from alcohol
and circa:
5 years from selfharm
15 years from cigarettes
20 years from cannabis
21 years party drugs
Why not taking selfhate as the next step?
I feel, it is something like the selfharm, physically… That also all substances were, physically and mentally.
It’s hard to be fully free from bad thoughts about ourselfs. So I still try to find the right wording for it. But I think this is what recovery shows up to take care of, to realy take care of, now.
*Day 2155
Busy week, a bit like a rollercoaster. Very various activaties: work, a funeral, museum, vollunteerwork, gameboarding with friends, crossfit trainings, etc. Just a bit much
But I try to look at it one day at a time, that helps.
I recently read in a book from Pema Chödrön about taking three commitments. The first one is to refrain from actions, words and thoughts that will cause harm to ourselves or others.
And here is a quote about upholding this commitment:
Nobody’s perfect in keeping the commitment to not harm. But still, students often ask me, “How can I make this vow with any integrity? If I’m going to break it at all, then what’s the point?” Patrul Rinpoche, a Buddhist master who lived in the eighteenth century, basically said there is no way to escape harming. He devotes an entire section of his book The Words of My Perfect Teacher to all the ways we cause harm: countless beings suffer from making the clothes we wear, from bringing us the food we eat. Beings suffer even when we walk. “Who is not guilty of having crushed countless tiny insects underfoot?” he asks. Our situation is inescapable because of our interconnectedness with all things. What makes the difference is our intention to not harm. On an everyday level, the intention to not harm means using our body, our speech, and our mind in such a way that we don’t knowingly hurt people, animals, birds, insects—any being—with our actions or words.
Chödrön, Pema: Living beautifully with uncertainty and change
So the way I approach this is to make this commitment every day in the morning. When I realise that I am actually acting, speaking or thinking in a way that is causing harm to myself or others I refrain in this current moment. Then I will catch myself causing harm again and again throughout the day, and I will refrain in this moment and will renew my commitment again and again.
I think this commitment is not a goal to be reached but a daily practice, a way to live my life.
Another hot day ahead, decided to go to the office and give my air condition a rest. Let me tell you it would be a total nightmare without a/c at home. Anyways, staying sober, love it this way and being grateful for this decision and work around it I do. Have a great day folks
1463 days no alcohol.
928 days no cocaine.
443 days no vape.
16 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
It was quite late in the day when I checked-in yesterday, so nothing to write about apart from falling asleep early, which is usual for me now, but it means I’m waking up much earlier, which I prefer.
Today I am going to the cinema with my 5yo niece, very much looking forward to it, although I haven’t seen the 3rd Despicable Me, and we are going to see the 4th one, but it’s not about me, as long as she’s happy that’s all that matters.
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 167.
Yesterday we went to get our oldest daughter from the train because she was going back home from her boyfriend. We where supposed to pick her up in the neighbor village since there’s no public transportations to our village.
Train ended up cancelled so we had to go a a city one and a half hour away to pick her up.
While we was there we went to their local Cheese store. And had a wonderful afternoon.
A few weeks ago I got some flyers in the mail about Harlequin romance books (I guess they aim it for a certain age group) I thought about taking the offer and try some for free, but then I didn’t want to get stuck in a prenumeration that I couldn’t cancel, so I didn’t.
Yesterday I got a gift from my husband,the Harlequin books I looked at, and a necklace that came with the package.
It was so sweet. And I had totally forgotten how nice it is to read some Cowboy Romance. If I can’t get my own, I can at least read about it
Besides that there was a truck crashing right outside our house. A car transport. The driver luckily didn’t got hurt. He had been a police officer for 15 years before he got a truck driver. So he was calm all the way.
We watched them trying to tow everything untill really late last night.
It was interesting but also a bit scary.
He is not the first one who ends up with a car on that Field. But it was most likely the mest complicated one they had to tow.
Today I’m going to drink tea and read some more Cowboy Romance.
That’s all Folks
Wishing y’all a wonderful day.
@zzz Stay cool in that heat @Timetochange Sometimes stuff needs time Or talking about it with caring friends. @SoberWalker I often get the feeling that the summers are so very busy with all kinds of activities. And then the winter comes and I have so much more time at my hands. Maybe it’s about having so much more sun light through the day Have fun sweating @Lefty624 Stay strong friend. You don’t need a drink, unless its water It’s the addicted part of your brain that will come up with theses thoughts. But that part sadly does not care for you or your well being. It just cares for getting its DOC. Make new memories of enjoying the summer without drinking. Next summer you will have these to remember @DanaM56 Enjoy your time with the grandkids. Take what you get. If there is going to be problems around the corner you’ll tackle them when they come. @Mno Enjoy the AC at your work place. I hope this heat wave passes @Butterflymoonwoman Good job on finding AND practicing a good way of dealing with overstimulation. Often when I am in such a situation I completely forget that I can step out of it with mindfulness, breathing and meditation. Actually remembering to use our tools is a big win @Just_Laura on good quality sleep. @Mira_D We all have emotional needs and emotional boundaries. If someone does not react to our calls for emotional support and/or oversteps our boundaries in whatever way, it is our job to communicate this. But it is the other person’s job to acknowledge, to appologize, to make ammends, and to make sure to respect your needs in the future. There is no shortcut to this. Material things are not a show of love. They are a bad substitute for the lack of an ability to connect emotionally. You can be grateful for the material support you are given and non the less be clear on the lack of emotional suport. Yes, you are actually entitled to material and emotional support from your parents. @Dustysprungfield Your body, your mind, your heart, your choices. We are here to support you, not to judge. Nobody but yourself can know what you need. Nobody but yourself can walk your path and live your life. Stay connected friend.
265 sugar
129 UPF
3 gluten
3 dairy
5 overeating
Another very hot day today.
My daughter’s birthday party is going to be in a few weeks and my gift to her every year is an elaborate game, some kind of scavenger hunt, escape room, or something similar scenario where the kids have to solve all kinds of tasks embedded in a story. After all there has to be a benefit to having a mum who spends her whole day with games The party is still a few weeks ahead but every year the kids grow older and I want to present them with a different kind of challenge, one that is suitable to their abilities. So I am going to start tossing around ideas and do what I do best: creating stories, rules and challenges out of thin air
With the current heat wave I think I am going to do my yoga practice before noon and then go to the pool in the afternoon.
I hope to enjoy a recovery dharma meeting in the evening. I love those meetings. The online group I’ve found is so caring and supportive.
Let’s keep our hearts and minds open friends: in peace, kindness and freedom
ODAAT
Off for a swim, really looking forward to it then see how hot the air is and decide if it’s a pet day in the garden or an indoors day with air con
Been exercising and eating as healthy as I can, living sober life is so fun and exciting and I’m so grateful I get this chance to know that life is better sober and to live it sober.
Life is what we make of what we have, be grateful for what we have, appreciate the small things.
After all, It is the small things that make the big things happen
playing 
belated happy birthday 
🩵
Have fun sweating 
It’s the addicted part of your brain that will come up with theses thoughts. But that part sadly does not care for you or your well being. It just cares for getting its DOC. Make new memories of enjoying the summer without drinking. Next summer you will have these to remember 
in the afternoon.
meeting in the evening. I love those meetings. The online group I’ve found is so caring and supportive.
