Really struggling the past few days to stay within my calorie goal. Probably because I’ve just been at home, bored, but holy crap why is not goving in to cravings so damn hard. I just want to eat what i want. Then when I do that, I’ve gone 1400 calories over my goal. So frustrating. Trying to be kind to myself and remind myself a couple days here and there of going over is okay as long as i generally stay on track.
Tonight might be the night that I finally decide to quit vaping. I’ve gone 3 days without it before, when I was sick, and I was honestly fine. It’s just the oral fixation and repetitive hand movement that sucks to deal with because it’s such a consistent habit. My vape died tonight and I dont have a backup like usual. Its too late, stores are closed. I’ve been thinking abiut quitting soon anyway so I guess nows my time to shine. Part of my brain though is going “I already quit alcohol, cant I just have this one thing?” And the other part of my brain is going “yeah dumbass, you already quit alcohol, so quitting vaping should be no problem, just apply the same concepts” lmaooooo. I do have a vape on my desk but I hate the flavor and havent touched it in months so I doubt I’ll end up reaching for it. I’ve already been dealing with vaping cravings for the past several hours, and I haven’t touched it, so we’ll see how this goes I guess. Part of me still doesnt wamt to quit though, which I think is a huge issue and will eventually prevent me from quitting. I feel like in order to quit something I have to be 100% committed to it, and I’m just not quite there yet. Who knows. Thanks for letting me ramble.
I’ve been more depressed/bored lately, might be because of winter coming, and there’s significantly less daylight. I have a few days off in a row which is nice so I’ve just been trying to rest/relax and give myself what I need.
I love this! There’s this lone tree in the middle of a field on this straight country road that leads to Niagara Falls that I’ve always felt made me stare at it every time I’ve drove by for the past 20 years. It’s honestly a weird feeling, but it’s been nice to watch “my tree” grow up
@Rookie Idk if you’re using the app, but last time that happened to me I was told to manually update the app in it’s settings. Might help ya Lately for me, I get this weird message randomly, but it’s never when I click on something, only when I’m reading
I used to be like this obsessively. It was crippling in a way. I wish I could tell you how I got over it, but I’m not exactly sure. I know at some point I started seeing the beauty in everyone and realized how different it is. Then I guess I realized it’s incomparable idk if that makes sense but you’re amazing and shouldn’t want to be anyone but yourself Hope all goes well with your boy
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I woke up far too early on a day I could’ve slept in. I had quite a bit of cleaning to do, but instead of lightly cleaning the entire house so all looked good, I got stuck hyperfocused in one area. On the plus side, you could drop food anywhere in my bathroom(idk why you’re eating in the bathroom ) and still eat it no worries But all that elbow grease caused a tension headache so I had to stop and lay down.
My daughter didn’t seem sick at all today(she rarely is for long), so I agreed to the sleepover. First time meeting this friend and I loved seeing them together. Same weird sense of humor For something fun, I turned out the lights, busted out as many glowsticks/light up toys I could find, and connected this music synchronizing LED strobe light to my speaker and had a living room rave! It was actually super awesome Took them forever to settle so I’m off to bed now in hopes they don’t wake me too early. Goodnight
@Whereswaldo oh nooo, I hope the leak doesn’t stop the sale completing @Noshame congrats on 18 months no alcohol @chess-the-mess95 welcome @Scorpn congrats on 500+ days SH-free and 2 weeks smoke-free despite it all, you are achieving this. Sending strength 🩵 @Just_Laura I get that random msg whilst reading too the living room rave sounds epic
1553 days no alcohol.
1018 days no cocaine.
32 days no vape.
5 days no binge-eating.
Depression had me in bed yesterday afternoon. I was so frustrated and angry at myself for not being able to start the cleaning. I just can’t seem to do anything without a deadline, and even then it’s a high-anxiety process of doing it the day/night/morning before. I need to break free from this, somehow.
Today, Monday therapy, so I need to shower after the cessation nurse has called me.
I can identify with this in a way. I’ve come to realise that my alcohol use was a form of self harm. It was literally poisoning me and causing me to not take care of myself. I managed to get myself together enough to take care of those around me, but not myself. Always putting myself last.
My journey to sobriety started 18 months ago with a realisation that I was slowly killing myself. I’ve had numerous relapses since but in my case they’re getting shorter and less severe, but my overall mindset has changed even if I am not always strong enough to stick to it, yet. The net result is that I’m in a much better spot than 18 months back, but with work to do still.
Why am I telling you this?
Because even though I don’t know you, I know YOU matter. The best way you can be there for your kids is if YOU are ok, too. Kids are incredibly intuitive, they know if you’re not ok deep down. Yes, your responsibility as a parent is to your children, but your responsibility as a human is also to yourself. It’s not selfish to take care of your own needs, it’s necessary.
It took me a long time to realise this, and I’m still not perfect at actualising it, but every day/week/month I get a little better at it, and I can feel myself growing as a person as a result.
There are some amazing mind opening developmental podcasts out there which I credit with helping me along. What do you love doing? What did you love doing? There’s a podcast out there for that which might start bringing some joy back to your mind.
And we have no balcony anymore… Until it’s changed to the aluminium version… Bear is finding it fascinating! I’m not! It’s so noisy (since 7.45am) that we are going out for lunch and I have a haircut booked at 1pm. I don’t do hairdressers, but I am today.
Feeling a bit meh which is annoying as my partner is off all week. I get this territorial pull on my time and space sometimes and it really annoys me. I am trying to get to the core of why it annoys me so much to share space and my sense of independence; there’s probably something in there to do with hypervigilance and my need for autonomy. Gah. Meh. Gah.
Mow season is done!
Got into gym yesterday for first session, upper body superset. Not gonna lie, it was tough and I’m a bit stiff this morning. Nothing crazy but feel it for sure.
Today is either calisthenics or lower body weight, not sure.
Body was a bit stressed during sleep but that happens when I begin working out. Body never recharged well. But we’ll push through another session today and other than physio that I start tomorrow and a sauna session we’ll try and take er easy and jump back into an upper body superset again on Wed.
Have a good day folks and if you recognize this day please take a few moments to quietly remember those that gave so much for us.
Late checkin. I woke up in the middle of the night, took me quite a while to fall back asleep, and then I just slept through the alarm far longer then I had planned. Went with my daughter to parent-teacher-meeting and trying to get on top of the day after missing most of the morning.
Today’s picture is a summer picture of my favourite farm.
@whereswaldo wishing you luck today…hope all goes well with the sale!!! Just saw your update-Oh this is fantastic news! A huge congrats @scorpn sorry that you are feeling so disengaged and numb. 2 weeks smoke free is marvelous work . It’s you addiction trying to convince you to start the timer over and to start it with a bang. I am glad you can see the thoughts for what they are. We are here for you Renee…you are not alone .
Yes! This is key and be more mindful on the days you do. I found that if I really am just sitting and doing nothing then I would consume more. So now I try to keep myself busy (this was great for giving up my addictions too). Wishing you luck with the no vaping. You totally can apply the same principles and kick this habit. The other voice is just your addiction trying to stay in control. You are doing a fantastic job Zoe. 211 days and climbing @Just_Laura strobe lights and a living room rave!!! I’m so in . Sounds like a blast and I’m glad you all had a great time @November_Rain welcome to the community Autumn! Great work on your 3 days . This is a fantastic community full of great advice and loving support from peers who get the struggle. Stat connected. Hope to see you around @Thumper1213 yes! 1 week milestone . Great work Billy
Monday morning check in on Rememberance Day. Thank you veterans for all that you have done
Feeling foggy and off. Didn’t sleep well. Was freezing for most of the night and then actually managed to wake up in a hot sweat .
I have a few things I’d like to get done but first I’m just enjoying my coffee. Hopefully it’s a smooth and easy day.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day! Sending you all so much love
Man, waking up like that sucks. Glad you’re focusing on enjoying the little things. I hope your day goes smoothly for you too, and I hope you can get much better rest tonight!
Reset last night. 35 days on that streak.
I’m on day six out of eight of solo parenting, as my wife is away on a trip. My mom is visiting in town. I opened a bottle of nice wine for her, and ended up getting into it myself, and got a bit carried away. I then proceeded to do a 75 minute workout, and a protein shake late at night. No surprise: I was tossing and turning all night, and barely slept.
I’m done doing this. It’s not cool.
My challenge and purpose for today is to work hard, and make sure my daughter doesn’t get any sort of inferior effort from me.
Feeling great this morning upon waking up. I hung out with the bestie and his family in his new, lovely home all night… I definitely couch crashed too haha. It was just a good time with food, football, laughs and being present. Later in the evening, and idk how we got on the subject, I was able to talk to him and his wife about my addiction, me being in a program, my sobriety, the affects that it had on my relationship with spouse leading to the seperation and so much more. It felt good to be open and honest with someone I love and trust, that could be supportive of me even when hearing some of the lowly things I did in my state of complusive addiction. I felt seen and heard and not met with judgement, having the understanding that we all fall short in certain areas but you dont have to remain in that place by doing the next best right action and being intentional, establishing a foundation and having support along the way. I am blessed. TFLMS ODAAT
Happy Veteran’s Day to all the vets. Thank you for your service.
Didn’t do much yesterday. My mom stopped by to visit. We went to a store called Jimbos, it’s kinda like Trader Joe’s 2.0. Got some sandwiches for lunch. Watched the Chargers game. Went for a walk in the evening.
Anyway, I watched The Garfield Movie with the fam last night. The little man woke up with tooth pain again. He was fine throughout the day. Gonna see if there is an open dentistry nearby.
Gonna go visit the in-laws today.
Have a great day, everyone! Stay strong. Stay sober. ODAAT take care.
Day 506. Work was ok. I think in two years i can afford to reduce my working week by a day a week.which will feel nice… bit tired of working full time …novelty has worn off. Well, it wore off about ten year’s ago
Lately for me, I get this weird message randomly, but it’s never when I click on something, only when I’m reading 
Hope all goes well with your boy 
I woke up far too early on a day I could’ve slept in. I had quite a bit of cleaning to do, but instead of lightly cleaning the entire house so all looked good, I got stuck hyperfocused in one area. On the plus side, you could drop food anywhere in my bathroom(idk why you’re eating in the bathroom 
) and still eat it no worries 
But all that elbow grease caused a tension headache so I had to stop and lay down.
For something fun, I turned out the lights, busted out as many glowsticks/light up toys I could find, and connected this music synchronizing LED strobe light to my speaker and had a living room rave! It was actually super awesome 
Took them forever to settle so I’m off to bed now in hopes they don’t wake me too early. Goodnight 
🩵
. Sounds like a blast and I’m glad you all had a great time
. Great work Billy 
.
35 days on that streak.