@Seb 
Yeah!!! Congratulations 
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@acromouse completely agree. I have stress and I donāt know how to manage it well. I guess never I was successful with it
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Aw, thank you so much! Weāve got this!
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In the extra hours that youāre staying up, how are you spending your time?
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Way to go Sebastian!! Congrats on 300 days!! 
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Day 1028
Its 8pm here. I just got home not long ago. The groceries are put away and I just finished getting my son ready for bed. Hes doing not too bad. Still slightly sick. I did call the respirologist oncall today to find out his lab results. Apparently he was negative for a bacterial infection also therefore no antibiotics were prescribed. The Dr did say tho that the lab didnt test for ALL viruses so its very likely that he has a virus, which means it just has to run its course. I will be keeping a close eye on him to make sure he doesnt get worse.
Im feeling pretty tired and exhausted right now. I havent taken care of myself today in the sense of eating enough food and hydrating. Once my son is asleep i will shower n eat. Get a good rest. Back to work tmrw along with doing laundry and giving my son a bath. Hopefully he can attend school Monday. I have been signed up for a work related training that id like to attend if i can.
Anyway, have a great night everyone
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@LittleMissL Congrats on 1900 days sober. Amazing number. 
@Dilettante Congrats on 5 hundo days. 
@Alycia Good to see you checking in. Hope all is good in your neck of the woods.
Day 1148 AF
I forgot to check in yesterday. I was about to type something, but my eyes gave out. It was a pretty chill day at work yesterday. High idle times. Caught up with some training videos. The little man is feeling better. I think he ate something at school that didnāt sit well with his stomach. Heās back to screaming and fighting with his big bro. So thatās a good sign. I had some wild vivid dreams last night. Got the chills when I woke up. But Iām fine now.
Busy Saturday. Woke up and did a few loads at the laundromat. Took my eldest and the wifey to get their haircuts. I have been consistent with my PT exercises and icing my lower back. I think Iāll live. Not a whole lot going on tonight. Gonna catch up on some shows and pass out. Iāll be one week caffeine-free tomorrow morning 
.
I hope everyoneās doing well. Take care. ODAAT 
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Hey beautiful people 
Checking in Day 21
Honestly I was so skeptical of AA but I truly see how valuable it is and how it really does save lives, myself included. Just really ready to be of service and to help others who may be suffering. So thanks to this group as I dunno if I wouldāve had the courage to even go to a meeting if it wasnāt for the encouragement I received here. I can feel myself changing and growing into a person I am actually proud of
Definitely still feeling all the feels which Iāve been told is normal. Trying to remind myself feelings are not facts. I have an upcoming appointment with a therapist to work through this in a healthy way.
Heading to bed now. Going to meet with my sponsor tomorrow and work the steps. Sheās really awesome. Iām just feeling grateful overall.
Wishing all strength today 
ODAAT
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Dana hope you got some self care in. Remember you canāt pour from an empty cup 
hope your son feels better soon and itās nothing too serious. Keeping both of you in my thoughts xx
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2y 9m 5d no self harm
day 19 in partial hospitalization for ED treatment
I donāt have a lot to say about today. pretty boring. but I wanted to share something I wrote today. the prompt was to write from an outside perspective. I chose to write about a fly on the wall.
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@Mischa84 Iām sorry you were experiencing these thoughts/ feelings. I know some days I get the gloom and doom sensation and just canāt shake it. Have to call my loved ones constantly to make sure everyone is ok. Not sure why this happens but know how unnerving it is. I hope you were able to get a good nightās rest and will start tomorrow with a brighter outlook 
@Seb way to go Sebastian 390 days is awesome work 
. Keep it going strong!
@Mira_D so happy to see this update! Glad you got some blissful time for yourself. Appreciate the love my friend 
Aweā¦I see this and itās very interesting. Glad you are acknowledging it as a firm of self sabotage. We heal in sleepā¦let your body heal and recover fully 
. 18 days strong
@Butterflymoonwoman glad itās not a bacterial issue needing antibiotics. Hope the virus runs itās course quickly and without any additional symptoms . Do hope you find time for yourself and some self care. You cant keep running on empty .
@JP123 yeah!!? 3 weeks is amazing work 
grateful that you are going to AA and finding it to be helpful and supportive . Feeling the feels is tiring and does take work. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Glad you will have a therapist to talk to about these feelings. It does get easier . Best of luck with your session tomorrow
Checking in on Saturday evening
727 days free of alcohol and weed
1132 days free of cigarettes
Was super fatigued and all that jazz but managed to hang with my siblings. We watched some movies and played a few video games. So grateful the day is over and hopefully will be getting some sleep tonight.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day/ evening. Sending you all so much love
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@JazzyS Today was better, thanks I woke up ready to go(which doesnāt happen often). I donāt think my boss understands some people need work to survive. She earns the same every week regardless of hours(which are far less than every previous boss). Isnāt like that for the rest of us.
@Mischa84 Iāve had those thoughts too. I think all parents do at some point. The worldās a scary place. One time, we couldnāt find my daughter and her friend, who were supposed to be at the park next door. My brain went straight to āThey got pulled into a van and are already 10 miles out of town!ā They were behind the park building on the other side of the field and ācouldnāt hear usā 
but obviously it still freaked me out for almost 10 minutes! Then I think of things that happened to me, I pray donāt happen to her Reminding myself that thereās no way to know the future helps. Just as likely something awful might happen, something amazing could too 
@GOKU2019 Nice job on the caffeine 
And consistency with PT. I always did the exercises until I felt better, then stopped. That obviously didnāt fix the problem long term, so stick with it 
661
Got a full 8 hours of sleep and jumped out of bed when my alarm went off! Had the usual mid day slump after work, but after sitting down a while, I was able to get thru the rest of the night. Made a great dinner and watched Home Alone 2. Hoping I get to sleep early since I have work earlier than usual tomorrow 
Then the staff Christmas party is right after (thatās if I feel like going after work). Iāll probably just go for the free food 
Anyway, have a great Sunday!
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Same her since 6:00 pm! The light went like 15 timesā¦ couldnāt watch the reopening of Notre Dame on TV, as power came and went, and finally I went to bed at 9:00 pm frustrated! 
Now Iām awake at 6:45 on my day offā¦
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Day 21 AF. Three weeks. There is an empty feeling inside me which is growing.
In a way I am doing great. I feel healthy and energetic. I can deal with people without losing control. The people around me seem happier. But somehow there is an empty feeling inside me.
I am trying to fill the void with exercise, audiobooks, and getting things done, but it feels like I am just robotically following a script. I do not have the words to describe it, except that it is a hollow feeling.
Yesterday afternoon, I felt the same way, and I took a nap. The nap stretched out into hours. I skipped dinner, and woke up early today morning. Slept for about 10 hours.
Today the feeling is back. Is this part of the withdrawals?
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So we could have watched together friend 
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2010
Another wet and windy day here. Sorry for the repetition. I caught a cold somewhere. My nose and sinuses are in total disarray 
. Well. Iāll survive. Iāll stay inside and eat and drink healthy stuff. And so happy Iām not a smoker anymore who still had to smoke a packet a day, despite the aching throat and terrible taste while having a cold. Or a drunk who still went out on Sunday afternoon to drink in the bar, because I wanted to be with people I told myself. But it was just because I wanted to drink even more than I would drink at home alone. Never again.
Letās have as good a day as we can friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come from it. Love.
@seb Huge congrats on 300 Sebastiaan!
@SadMemeQueen Thanks for sharing your story Megan. Thatās a lot. All we all can do is keep working on ourselves, one day at a time. As you are. Itās harder for some than for others and why that is so I donāt know. Big hugs.
@BrownGecko We all have and feel the void. An we all filled it by using our DOCās, by which we created our own oblivion, another void where we didnāt have to think, to feel, to be. Now weāre sober we have to learn to live with the void as we are. As real humans. I feel itās one of the big things in recovery, to learn to accept that void, to be with it, inside it, to mindfully observe, explore and exploit that void. The best creative ideas come when weāre bored. Donāt be afraid for it. We donāt have to fill every waking moment with activities.
This angst for the void and trying to fill it is something typically modern and western by the way, not just something us addicts suffer from. All of us are doing it. Letās try to live in the moment, not escape from it. Youāre doing great.
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Day 282
Good morning. Fitful sleep that I just had to stop. Maybe I can start it again. But first, some coffee with you.
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372 days
Good sunday with the kids. Swimming for the eldest then did some grocery shopping for the week.
Have had to have a few days off training with the sore back.
Back to work tomorrow hoping for a easier assignment tomorrow
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Storm Darragh doing itās damage
Trying my best. Should be 110+ days but Iām on day 1 again. I so hate this time of year.
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We should do a live watch party one weekend!
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