Checking in daily to maintain focus #74

[SarahBear]

Checking in with 26 days, still dizzy and headachey after the hospital stay but definitely improved. My oncologist came by the hospital room so I was glad I actually got to talk to her. Im so sick of being sick, so glad alcohol is out of the picture, but im still sick and I want to get on with my life!

Also i noticed yesterday that being in a medical setting is extremely triggering for my anxiety, being poked and blood drawn and asked about my BMs… it is thouroughly upsetting and i think I have some medical trauma from the last year that I need to address.

Being sober is allowing me to start to see these things though. I would have juat assumed i was anxious because i didnt have a drink. But now i can stop and see that im anxious because of a trigger i didnt know i had. Feeling the feelings is difficult, and i find myself wondering about the difference between feeling emotions healthily and just wallowing in self pity. Its a balance i guess but if anyone else has thoughts on that id love to hear!

Anyways im taking it easy, pedialyte and rice cakes, and looking forward fo 4 weeks AF on Sunday!

[CanadianGirl]

Congrats on reaching triple digits!! 100 d as TS is incredible!

[Lainenicole96]

I’m a week clean today, It’s like I can feel my brain is “healing” mode, I kind of visualize it as my brain is less and less soaked by alcohol as the days go by. it feels good but life is also lifing. I am experiencing anxiety because as excited as I am to become a master esthetician and got a job straight out of school, I’m stressed about making sure my special needs child has care for all those hours I will be working. Especially when summer hits. He can only get so much respite care outside of my dad watching him. Thank God for my dad to love us as much as he does and watching him as much possible. I just feel guilty because he is getting older and has survived strokes so it’s not as easy for him to get around. I mean, he can enough to still go out and stuff, I wouldn’t put that on him if he wasn’t capable. I was going to look for a certified nanny/sitter and just paying to watch him all day Saturday to take that off my dad but tell me why it costs like $180 at minimum to even reach out to a provider to see if they could do it…praying the respite works out and my dad will just have to watch him Saturdays. I just feel guilty and sad that my son doesn’t have a father outside of his papa and I don’t have a partner so it makes it harder to even work…I’m trusting God and I’m trying to let it go for today and the weekend as I am not training again until Monday. I am just trying my best. only a a small part of me thinks how some shots can help take it away for now but the bigger part of me that would just make things worse and I’d feel like later. I know these are real life things I need to face head on in order to face reality moving forward.

[TS66]

Clearly, you have a lot on your plate, but give yourself credit for realizing that drinking will only make things more difficult and that you will feel bad on top of everything. You can handle this.

[Clayton18]

Thinking of you. Am here for you.

[Dilettante]

Checking in with day 577

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Day 1104
Hi TS fam! Happy Friday! Finally had a little me time this morning as my son went back to school (first day back after his illness). Was only a half day but still it was nice to have a little me time. Unfortunately i didnt take good advantage of that time lol I ended up napping for 2 hours until my sons formula was delivered. Then did a little cleaning. I wanted to go to the gym but that didnt happen. I WILL be going on Monday tho. My clothes are starting to fit a little snug Thankfully weight is not permanent and can be changed over time. Just waiting for my husband to come home from work. Will have supper and then Ill prepare for work tomorrow. Not much else to report right now. Have a great evening!

[Butterflymoonwoman]

I absolutely do. I also think the bodies ability to fight off the cold/flu diminishes a loy when a person doesnt sleep well. Hopefully u havent caught anything. Praying for some good rest for u 🩷

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Congratulations on triple digits!!

[sober26]

Day 20 - coloured in the eyes.

Worked my day job.

Had to get a cavity filled today so in a little bit of pain now as the numbing/freezing wears off.
I know as a result I won’t be able to sleep well tonight and also I’ve got a migraine starting.

Going to do a little bedtime reading and then going to try and sleep.

Kids have a class and hockey in the morning so I’ll need to be up early.

Good night my sober friends.

[CR84]

Wrapping up the day with a quick check in. I had a few intrusive moments today but I was able to get through them. I’m starting to seriously consider talking to a professional about my ADHD. I haven’t wanted to medicate in anyway. I’ve come a long way with various tools and skills, but it’s still very much debilitating in some ways. Luckily I have a man that understands and helps every way he can, but I’m 40 years old and it’s downright embarrassing I’m done whining now. Thank you everyone here as always. You’re all doing great

[Refreshedperspective]

Thanks again! This is all very helpful and certainly resonates

[Climbin]

Hey doing ok had a day of reminder and challenge to go use. All i have to say my self talk that day worked. Im so glad because you just dont know. Misery loves company and the devil is always knocking at your door. Two thing i have alway said to myself and to others. That day i made the choice to just go home. Im glad. I hope that things start lifting up again. Soon working so hard lately on my physical and mental health. I said to myself and tell people if i just don’t pick up today. Tomorrow i dont need to regret i did pick up. Right (odaat)

[Minatasha]

Day 10

Ive dissociated from the nightmare day that was my work

[EFountains]

Let me share with you my 900th day of sobriety. I propose this thought that helps me a lot:

Change is needed, it is important change your mind but even more important, change your actions.

Do something you are not used to do, be kind, ask for forgiven, do not talk about the booze, do not pass near of the places you where you bought alcohol. Nothing happens if you say no to a party, to a situation of risk.

I remember, this is for me, the goal is to save my life, it is not for my wife, God, humanity, the planet. It is for me, I deserve happiness, I want to be a person with dignity.

And this is only possible out of the alcohol.

These are my personal reflections, speaking only for myself. I hope it helps like they help me. And as well help me your readings, favs and sharings.

Thank you.

[Just_Laura]

@CR84 We’re here for the whining I feel you on ADHD. It’s so crippling at times. Procrastination has always been my nemesis, and I never even knew it was a symptom before I quit. Once I evened out from alcohol and got back to my ‘normal’ state, I realized it’s probably why I drank so much in the first place. I need to be slowed down. I know adderall works for me (bc I used to steal my brother’s ), but I ended up abusing it alot in the end, so that’s a no go now. I have to figure out a better way to navigate this as well. All the best

737

I had to work earlier than normal, so it was a long day. A sober line cook I really liked, didn’t show up yesterday and no one knew why. Today, I was sad to hear it was bc he relapsed. And he just moved out of the halfway house into his own apartment, got a new car and seemed to be doing really great. I guess not

I don’t think I mentioned this last week, but the manager right above me, and my only coworker who’s been there longer (aside from the GM), was fired for stealing from the bar manager! She was caught on camera and still lied straight to everyone’s face! Not surprising, as I’ve seen her do some shady shit over the years. She’d throw anyone/everyone under the bus to save herself, so I just always watched my back around her.

Anyways, this makes me head floor manager now, which is pretty cool. My manager is brutal at times, but I think alot of it stemmed from dealing with this other one. She was stuck in her ways and thought she knew it all, and was always the first to tattle on what wasn’t done by everyone else (even tho she left tasks undone many times herself). All about shifting that spotlight Just bad vibes, but I already feel less tension in the air and more confident in myself knowing I don’t have to answer to her anymore. Maybe it’ll be a good summer after all

Everyone stay strong this weekend Have a great 24!

[Jesile]

@ImNotMe

but straight away my Husband is being negative and saying it’s not a good idea as he’s concerned I’ll stay after its open and start drinking

To be honest, I totally understand your husbands concerns, specially as you’re very early in your sobriety. I certainly wouldn’t / couldn’t go!
But huge congrats on your cleaning business!!

[Jesile]

@Just_Laura

this makes me head floor manager now, which is pretty coo

Congratulations on your new position!

[Jesile]

Morning check-in!
Kicking off day 97! Yesterday was a long day at work, but today it’s “Friday” for me! Weekend’s almost here!
Tomorrow I’ll have lunch at a friends house (paella! )
Off to work now! I hope everybody has a good one!

[Marit]

@Just_Laura Congrats on your promotion! Sounds like her leaving will definitely make your life a bit better

@ImNotMe Congratulations on the new business! Don’t let your insecurity creep in because of someone else… Just go for it, take it one day at a time and prove him you can do this. Would watch out with cleaning the bar though and maybe reconsider as its so early in sobriety?

@CR84 I’m ADD and I know what your struggling with. I don’t take any meds for it (I did in the past) as I have created a lot of tools to be able to live with it. But now without alcohol it definitely shows me how much impact it can actually have and how much ‘noise’ it causes. I’m curious what will come out of a professional talk, maybe there are a lot of new ways than in the past!

Checking in day 44 AF, day 20 nic free. Finally it’s Saturday. Woke up slow and now on the couch with some coffee. Will take care of the horses in some time and I also have a lunch meeting with some friends. After lunch I’ll take a stroll through the forest with my dog. And the evening will again (like almost always, as everyday overwhelmes me ) for myself, my pets and some tv/video games

Have an amazing day/evening/night everyone