Day 1! AF NIC F Seems weird to be back at this day when I was determined not to do it again.
All day I’ve had flashbacks. Cringing at my own behaviour; acting like an absolute twat.
It’s like things build up inside me to the point I can’t keep it bottled in anymore and it all overflows into one huge car crash of a catastrophe driven by drink and I end up in ridiculous, dangerous, or down right stupid situations.
I’m still too embarrassed to leave the house. Which is fine as I’m crocheting sparkly leg warmers for my nieces school play, but I’ve cancelled on my customers today. I’ll probably do it tomorrow too.
Sometimes I think you just need time to be alone to gather your thoughts and let your body rest.
I’m starting therapy again next week so I’m hoping this will help to give me some coping strategies for my PTSD. Perhaps my ADHD too
Evening check in 1142
Well all in all, today was a decent day. I got everything done that i wanted to get done. Exercised, ate well, spent quality time with my family. Only thing (and im noticing that it could be a problem), is my phone usage. I seem to be on my phone alot. I do know that i have used my phone in the past to “escape” from stress or when im feeling overwhelmed. And id like to change that. Id like to be more present with my family. I try to put my phone down but find myself picking it up shortly after to check emails or to scroll social media. Im not sure how to limit this but im going to try.
Have a great night everyone!
I am so sorry to hear about your wife, Trey. That is such hard and shocking news, you must be reeling. As others have said, keep checking in, we are here for you.
Had a hard time falling asleep bc I kept hearing noises that didn’t sound like my cats. Ever since the maintenance guy checked for people living in the basement, I’m noticing alot more noise down there. Idk if that’s what it was at 3am, but all the other hours, I hear voices No, not like that My daughter hears them too. Just a little freaky.
Anyway. The day started out 60° and sunny, then rained all day and now it’s 30° and icy Where tf is spring?! Made for a pretty boring day. Got a full day tomorrow, so I hope to sleep well tonight Hope you all do too ODAAT!
Just checking in. Had a good day with my mom and some great laughs. I decided to wear an old pair of her boots out and the entire sole fell off while I was walking…well. we nearly peed our pants laughing the rest of tbe day. We ended up watching Adolescence and it was really so well done. Got to watch the first episode of Mobland also. I love all that kind of mob stuff, and add Guy Ritchie and Tom Hardy hell Im there. My mom loves to watch things so its always nice to sit and do that with her bc I dont ever just SIT and do that but man did we POWERWATCH today.
And i have my meeting in person tomorrow with the DA. Im very apprehensive bc I know none of the judges decisions went out way. Looking for some peace and just dont want to fuck this up. Xo to everyone here and thank you dor all the support xo.
Back to work. Not really feeling it but it will be OK. Would’ve like to stay in bed a couple of hours longer even when the dreams were weird. I can and I will do this. I’m going to make this day as good as I can, and I expect the same from all of you friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love.
@Danwood85 Good to see you Dan. Welcome back. Hope some lessons were learned so this won’t happen again. One day at a time for all of us.
☆ Day 2386
First day of my holiday.
Having one week in a small cottage on a little Dutch island up north.
Was surprised about the huge section of alcohol in the supermarket here. Probably so because of the huge amount of tourists who are visiting this island? I associate a holiday also with alcohol. I still do after 6,5 years being a non drinker. In my drinking days a holiday was a green card to drink even more then I used to without criticism from my partner.
This days my holidays are sober and that’s cool. I’m really glad I made it to the other side. But it’s not that I’m not aware of my triggers and a holiday like this is one of them.
But that isn’t bad eather, believe me!
Know your triggers!
If you know yours, you can act on it!
How do I act on it? Well by buying sweets and other unhealthy stuff I normaly seldom eat but like anyway
By talking to my partner about it. By checking in here to talk about it.
An addiction is there to stay is my oppinion, I’m never “cured”. It’s how you deal with it that keeps you sober ore not.
Picture of some glass artwork I saw in a museum. I would love to have this one It’s a lamp!
Today? Chill in the morning while my hubby is running through the dunes. And going for a long beachwalk and letting the wind catch my hair Looking forward to it! I love the sea!
Have a good day ore night all
Just read this. I’m so sorry Trevor, my condoleances. This is a big loss, you partner, your other half I do not know what to say beside take good care of yourself now. Hope you have a warm family and some friends around you to help you with that
I didn’t check in yesterday and didn’t have time to catch up here either. My best friend and I went to my mother’s for lunch and we stayed there till 8:30 pm. We talked about a lot of subjects but one thing that came up was my “problem with moderation.” They believe I take everything to extreme and this is just one of those things and what I need is a good dose of self control. Before I would have argued, gently of course, that for some people there’s just no such thing as moderation, but yesterday I just laughed it off and let it go. I love them so much and I didn’t want to ruin the otherwise lovely day. It’s so much better this way. I think it’s because of this community that I’m able to do this. I know that no matter what everyone says, I can come here and everybody understands exactly what this means, to be sober I mean. I’m so grateful for everyone here. It’s something I include in my prayers nowadays. So thank you everyone for making such a wonderful and supportive place where we can all run to.
My partner is on annual leave this week so we are having a staycation. So far we have just relaxed together. But we do have a few things planned this week starting tomorrow… Drinking isn’t one of them.
486 days
Halfway through a 24hr shift. Just had a video call with the kids. Always make sure I call them in the evenings if I’m not going to make it home.
Been a busy day. Got some training in as a crew then managed to get a bit of training on my own, was not great as I’m still physically rebuilding after the back injury. Motivated to get back to a higher level of fitness. Now I’m recovered somewhat I think a personal trainer will be beneficial for a bit to get me dialled in.
Night was ok, morning meeting great. Want to work on some tricky design stuff this morning and prepare for the moving guys coming tomorrow in the afternoon. Some rowing also. And there is some sun coming up.
I am in shock too. I am sooooo sorry. For you, for her, for all who knew and loved her. What a tragedy.
I’m grateful you are a member of this site so that you’ll continue to find refuge and comfort here during the hard days now and forthcoming.
When you don’t know what to do or where to go, you know there’s a light on here and friendly faces.
We are gathered around you with caring and support, @TS66
I am so sorry. It’s just awful.
No, not like that 
My daughter hears them too. Just a little freaky.
Where tf is spring?! Made for a pretty boring day. Got a full day tomorrow, so I hope to sleep well tonight 
Hope you all do too 
ODAAT!
It’s a lamp!
Looking forward to it! I love the sea!
I do not know what to say beside take good care of yourself now. Hope you have a warm family and some friends around you to help you with that
