My morning check in. Slept okay. Drinking coffee and listening to the dog bark at joggers. Next, it will be squirrels, delivery people, the trash truck, more squirrels, and dog walkers.
Today’s the last day of my vacation. The school is open today, but I only teach MWF. Good thing, because I need to take my wife to the dentist to repair a crown. My wife gave up driving during the pandemic. She’s not working and on disability, so it doesn’t make sense for us to have two cars, and our insurance is cheaper. Here comes the “but.” But, even though I don’t want her to drive and don’t want the expenses of a second vehicle, it still sometimes bugs me when my non-teaching days and weekends are filled with trips to various doctors and Wal-Mart and Target (we need to do both for some reason). But, now it bothers me because I am clearly the asshole in this situation. I can’t begin to recite the litany of things she does for me. Why does driving her sometimes bother me? It isn’t something that drives me to drink, but it does upset me, which brings me closer to drinking. I think the situation bothers me because I want to stay home these days. And I’m realizing it also worries me as I see her MS and mobility issues get incrementally worse. And that rachets up my anxiety levels. I only meant to mention this feeling. It looks like we are witnessing a breakthrough in real time.
Checking in
Sober. 
Off to the grocery store
I’ve noticed if cusome less; Like food money; I feel better about myself
Also with activly absorbing attention
Out of site out of mind
Of course there’s a right time for everything
Hopefully more better done then negative
Thank you kind sir 
I’m all over it. I made sure I have reminders set for meetings and making sure to stick to routine. You’re awesome as always. Good to see you got some rest:sparkles:🩷
@CR84 Thank you so much! You too! I’m behind reading the posts here as well. I’ve been working all day. Hope you’re having a lovely day, as awesome as you are 
I’m so sorry about what you and your wife are going through. Illnesses are hard. Sending you prayers and hope, friend, like you did for me yesterday. I do so wish for things to get better soon 
You sound like a caring person and thoughts don’t always count, actions do, and you’re doing all the right things even when it’s hard. And thank goodness for coffee on such days, right? Virtual coffee for you 
@CR84 Thanks so much!
Checking in at the beginning of day 4. Tired and slept in a little. Still feel better being this tired than hung over.
Great day everyone!
Morning check in for day 55 weed free.
Migraine has FINALLY subsided. Feeling full of joy from seeing my best friend yesterday. Time to get ready for the day and go to treatment.
Thank you. She’s had MS since long before we met, but she’s had long periods of remission. After she fell and broke her knee two years ago, her mobility has gone downhill. Of course, we’re both getting older. I want to be here for her, but sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on my own life. I know that’s selfish, but I also know these issues (my issues) are part of what led me to act out online. As long as I stay sober, the other bad behavior doesn’t come out, but I know the roit cause is still something I need to work through.
Checking in. Doing good and nothing to complaint about 
We finally have sunlight and I enjoy it so much 
I think it’s normal what you are feeling. Taking care of a loved one comes with sacrifices, and there’s somedays that’s hard because where’s the time for ME? It gets overwhelming
Sounds like it’s something to process through, talk about, and maybe you need to find some sort of balance? Does she have any friends she can go shopping with?
That doesn’t sound selfish, only human. What both of you are going through takes a lot of courage and strength, it really does. But you’re staying sober despite everything which is the most important thing you’re doing really well!
Daily check in. MADE IT TO DAY FOUR! Woke up irritated, mild headache, almost felt hungover which WTF is that all about? Got 2 kids to school (my oldest and youngest, my middle child is a godsend and gets herself up and on the bus every day), both of them woke up on the wrong side of the bed (well I guess we all did) because they were both rude, and mean, snappy, and well my oldest just plain wrong, which didn’t help my attitude at all. Least I didn’t yell, but damn these kids can be awful some days!
So I came back home and went to bed, between the shit attitude and mild headache, yeah I needed that, I don’t even want to deal with that version of myself. Problem is, now I could just sleep the day away and I have so much to do…
Day 1,727 clean and sober today. Took 7 clients on a beautiful hike yesterday and they absolutely loved it. Management let me create a 3 hour Mindfulness Hiking group that I am able to do with the guys every week now and I am so happy to be able to get them out in nature, pretty cool. Another cool thing is that I will be taking over the Music Therapy group that the program director has been doing, how freaking fun is that!!! Yay! Also… I might be chosen to begin a brand new grief group for the guys. This will be an opportunity to connect with them on a very deep level as I have experienced tremendous loss in my life and am also still working through that process. Have an amazing day everyone I am super proud of you all and I love you all very much! 
Good afternoon everyone. What a beautiful day we are having here.
This is a photo of Alfie on the beach a few weeks ago.
Today has been beautiful weather wise and Ive been so busy at work.
This would have been a day when i would have definately gone to the pub after work and probably stayed for 10 pints and ended up getting a takeaway then repeat tomorrow.
What a difference 18 days makes, no thoughts of drinking. I went shopping and bought ingredients to make nice meals with and now I am going to go in the greenhouse and get sowing seeds.
Hope you are all doing well today.
Sorry for your struggles today. So glad you can share here. What I SEE a very strong person getting up off the floor and facing head on your challenges today!
If I threw myself on the floor my dog all 110 lbs would think it is playtime. I have had todo my floor exercises in a different room because of this. Hope that brought a smile for you.
Hi everyone
Day 917 here.
A bit tough, a week since I was let go from my job, first few days were a novelty and quite nice change, but now I’m kind of feeling unsure what to do now and that there really isn’t much to get up for each day.
I know it’s really early days and I’ve applied for 14 jobs already (which I don’t think is bad for one week) but I keep reading online that it’s taking people many months or years to get a new job. Which is rather depressing.
Today I spoke to a friend who suggested that I sort my house a bit and clean up which was a good suggestion so I did. But then nothing to do after. I’m just sat here bored stiff and can’t face tomorrrow which will be more of the same!
In the “old” days I would have been in the pub since lunchtime every day if not working. I know that’s not a good thing to do and will solve nothing.
So a bit forlorn but I expect I’ll be ok.
Thanks for reading.
Good for you. Working it everyday is the key. I am glad you are here with us.
Congrats on all your sober days!
I get it and just want to share. I work for my husband as I am the bookkeeper. I have always resented being told what I was to do on any given day. I just wanted to do MY THING! Drunk was about all I did until sobriety. Since sobriety I just wanted to do the How to stay Sober tasks. There had to be and was an attitude adjustment. Almost like a light switch going on. Now first thing I ask what is expected of me today. Funny since my change of attitude I find I have time to do the things I want to do. Maybe I spent and wasted too much of my time bitching about what I had to do and not just do them.
It must be tough with a spouse with health issues I am sure. I applaud you being there for her in all capacities. While you are at Target I need a couple of items. 
James, hello from another James!
Congrats on your sobriety - those are some impressive numbers right there.
I’m fortunate to run my own company and whilst I cannot comment on anyone else’s hiring practices I can tell you that there is a way to stick out in my eyes. Pick up the phone and call the company (having done some work). This is especially true if it is a smaller company not running an HR process. About 1% of people bother to do it, and every single person who has called me in 20 years asking for a job… I have interviewed. I have hired a number of them. It will set you apart, I can cast iron guarantee that.
The internet of opinion is a dark hole of lies, half lies and opinions… don’t dwell on that at all ( I see the irony here, having just offered my opinion… but those of us seeking sobriety are trustworthy folk, right? 
).
Good luck!