Evening check in, in a pretty shit mood.
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That is probably the least talked about effect post-addiction. Itās almost a guilt thing but not exactly. Itās just a need for the peace. And we need it so badly, especially routine/structure oriented people, that we will just deal with a lot. Just always remember we are here for you. WE GOT THIS 
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70 DAYS! YES Look at you doing this thing and killin it!
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Good work on 70. Keep at it
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Late check in 53 days. Didnāt sleep much last night.. Iām cutting down my caffeine intake again. Iām not quite sure what to do anymore. I donāt want to get put on sleeping pills. The insomnia started before I even quit THC. Iām at work until 10ā¦Iām hoping to get some sleep tonight.
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Checking in on Day 260
My mood is still off today but at least I didnāt have the intense urges to drink. I went to bed early last night and really put some thought into whatās got me feeling like this . Firstly Iāve been feeling very disconnected from things and even myself ( if that makes sense) and itās definitely made me a bit quieter and less open about a lot . Like I feel very hollow almost. Iām really struggling with just how completely fucked up the world around me is as a whole. Like how is this really the world Iām a part of. Iām talking on the big scale of things like all the unnecessary hate and violence , people struggling and suffering in a country that has so much. Like how does and old woman with a cane end up living in her car in the restaurant parking lot. But also some of the more day to day stress and stuff I deal with at work too. How are so many people ok with treating people in the service industry like lower beings? When did the phrase āthe customer is always rightā become something to hide behind while verbally abusing another human being. When did it become Ok to mock the way the person who is taking your order and serving you talks. I mean these things have been a problem for a long time but Iām feeling like Ive reached a breaking point with it all. Today I snapped and refused service to someone purely for being a complete ass to my staff. I probably shouldnāt have but I donāt really care.
Sorry for the long rambling post that may not even make sense. Hope you are all doing well.
Stay safe and sober everyone.
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I personally battle this quite often. Well i did until recently would be more accurate. I did a lot of research on viatamins i could be lacking, routines i could adjust, etc. I cannot do pills. Bad plan for me so i have been doing everything to avoid it. Meditation and yoga are a huge part of my personal routine. Just a matter of finding that sweet combo. Hopefully tonight is better.
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I hear ya Trish.
And I get it. All of it.
I use to hate it when I was feeling like that and then an old timer would write.
Serenity prayer Eric 
Serenity prayer.
But what about all these assholes? I know first hand in the restaurant industry too.
I like the Serenity Prayer now.
But I also like what BrenƩ brown says.
āAll I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.ā
ā BrenĆ© Brown,
Sheās got some podcasts I think and some books out there. Not sure if youāve heard of her.
And btw
Youāre kicking ass.
Keep it up
Love the 260
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I honestly just kept yelling YES! I know exactly what youāre feeling. It can feel like youāre just going through the motions of life. Especially with the world now. People donāt know what rude and manners definitions are. The service industry is by far one of the biggest examples of this.
Basically donāt apologize. Thatās why weāre all here. Your not alone. Love yaā:star:
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Checking in day 72. Still here still sober. Feeling kinda bad because I havenāt been as engaged on here, as I have in the past, but life is pretty busy right now. Taking it a day at a time.
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Iām not sure what you mean here. Iām not here because of anyone, but everyone, and that Iām an addict? Iām also lost in translation probably. Just dont know why I was tagged on this.
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One year no weed!
This is a 2 gif celebration. Iāve watch and seen how hard youāve worked over all these years to get where you are now.
Iām so happy for you and proud of you!
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Good on you for doing the couch to 5k . I did it several years ago and wanted so bad to love running. Everyone told me it would grow on me and it didnāt. I admire anyone who enjoys running.
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Huge congrats on 1 year free of weed 
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I am so sorry I didnāt realize I had tagged you.
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Checking in on day 780. Happy weekend all 
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@cr84 Awe girl you are too kind ā love your presence and support here. We really do help hold each other up 
Sometimes we do have to have the hard contacts to get that reassurance. I am sorry about the hard days. You are doing great friend ā hope the meetings help
@amy30 I was so excited to see your name pop up I am so sorry for all that you are struggling with love. Please do not try to downplay your feelings. Something must have triggered them and in talking about it you can work through it. You are absolutely correct that drinking will not solve anything. You are 972 days strong!!! That is mighty impressive work my friend. We are here for you so lean on us! You donāt have to go through this alone 
I am sorry about the job and totally understand about the need for structure. It may take some time but you can create a structure that works for you. The clip sounds disturbing -sorry it gave you nightmares. Hopefully you can flood your mental vision with cartoons or funny stuff to take over your minds message center. Sending hugs and love your way!
Right on with all that you posted. I totally agree and feel this community has been my saving grace. I have formed some amazing friendships here and feel seen in ways that I never was in real life. Now I seek substantiality in my real life connections.
@tragicfarinelli The restaurant is Indian Vegetarian - we serve a all vegan menu at the festivals.
menu
Sag dal, Basmati Rice, Allu Bhaji, Channa Masala, Masala tofu, Spinach pakoras, Vegetable Samosa, Onion Naan, Vegan Mango Lassi, Non-Indian desserts Like Spice pumpkin chocolate chip bars, Cheesecake, Chocolate chip cookie cheesecake bars, Peanut butter choc chip bar, Coffee Cake, Oreo bars
@sadmemequeen Great to see you checking in Max. You were missed. Wonderful job on your 44 days of sobriety. I know it seems like more crap but i am grateful that you are finally getting the diagnosis and meds that you need. Like your psychiatrist said ā the weaning off can be harsh so please lean on us for support and reach out to her sooner than your check in times if needed. You are not alone in this.
WOW ā how amazing is that. I am so very grateful that you have found this psychiatrist.
You are adjusting well my friend. Keep putting in the effort and remember to take time for yourself when you can.
@blankspot987 That is wild for sure! So happy to see you checking in with 303 days! Just saw you on the selfie thread ā looking great friend ā living a wonderful life in sobriety! Keep it going strong 
@moriah sorry that you are feeling so out of sorts. It is a weird time that we are living in. It is ok to back away from talks that donāt align with your core beliefs. We can not go backwards but can hope and pray for a better future. In the mean time we can do all we can to make sure we are well in our sobriety to enjoy the future. 42 days strong my friend ā keep stacking up them days!
@marit Yes unfortunately you are right and he has left us. I do hope he and his family are doing well. It is very sad indeed and all we can hope is that they are doing well Many people do leave and it is worrisome to not know what happened. It is thrilling when someone does return after a long pause ā hope some of our friends will join in again. I find the You Are Missed thread helps us reach out to the members and hopefully it will bring them back
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Yeah as much as this sucks, this news makes it almost hopeful in a way
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@bunto Whats happening friend? Miss seeing your juices and energized morning posts
@raspberry OOH I see a milestone coming soon ā Enjoy the sober weekend my friend. You are crushing it!
@soberoskar I do hope your trip went well my friend ā havenāt heard from you since then.
@systematicsupernova Whats up man? Hope you are well and your symptoms / pain is manageable. Thinking of you
@sober_ken Way to go with your 70 days! Keep up the amazing momentum
@jette UGH insomnia sucks! I am sorry you are dealing with it. Hope the cutting of caffeine helps. Have you tried taking magnesium before bed? May need to discuss with your doctor but Iāve found this to help as well as a nice hot shower right before bed and or a foot rub with lavender oil. Hope you get a good nights rest
@stacyann How did your day go? Any luck in finding out the paycheck issue? Hopefully things did get sorted out ā just thinking of you.
@jms19 I am sorry the mood is still shitty. What are you doing for yourself today? Be proud of yourself for staying sober through a crap time. You flex those sober muscles and do some self care for you! Sending hugs your way
@canadiangirl Man it does suck so hard working in the service industry. I wholeheartedly donāt believe the ācustomer is always rightā a fād up customer must have come up with that bs. It is hard when everything starts weighing on you (it does all add up slowly and then itās the last straw) ā can totally relate. This is when you know you need a break. Glad you stood up for your staff. Hope no major repercussions because of it (some people are just entitled aāholes). Hope you are able to relax and unwind tonight. Much love Tisha!
Checking in on Friday night
996 days free of alcohol and weed
1411 days free of cigarettes
oof - it was a busy day. Feel like that is going to be the norm again - hope I can keep up. Trying not to let my symptoms or ailments hold me back. I did practice positive thinking today and felt overjoyed with happiness. I had to share it with the people I love and it only made it grow. Super tired physically but still wired mentally.
Gonna chill out and get ready for bedā¦ sweet dreams!
wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
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very true 
I am grateful that you are seeing the silver lining here too - I too am hopeful for you and your recovery
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