Checking in daily to maintain focus #8

No, Satan likes yesterday and tomorrow better

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With you with that! But I get people in my store who are having panic attacks from it. I feel sorry for them :pensive:

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OMG are you joking or what, Iā€™m too scarred to even do the test, Iā€™m like the effing rain manā€¦ I sit here today waiting for 117.77 and 77.77. I count tiles on walls and lines on roads but autistic people are generally really good at something and Iā€™m Mr average, I was bloody good at drinking and taking drugs but not sure thatā€™s a talent.

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I was joking :joy: :joy: :joy:, Iā€™m not a doctor, I donā€™t want to live with this guilt. I know as much about autism as the ingredients they put in hot dog sausages.

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Thank you @no-longer-a-victim

Yeah itā€™s definitely a challenge, I live in the center of the town. Coffeeshops, bars and casinoā€™s are in range of 100m. Sometimes I can smell the smell of the
coffeeshop in my bedroom when the wind blows in my direction :upside_down_face: Living near all the triggers was nice in active addiction, but in recoveryā€¦ Mehā€¦
Hitting meetings and reading here helps me a lot :smiley:

Thank you @SoberWalker this time I wonā€™t fall backā€¦ my recovery feels good now. Learned a lot of this forum :smiley: I have the big book from AA alsoā€¦
so much recognition in all subjectsā€¦ wow :eyes:

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Day 1078 and like I Wrote yesterday coming up on 3 years soon. But today is also a special day Because it was my old sobriety birthday. I could have had 5 years now but I relapsed after 15 months. Well, that is just part of my story and I am Happy and thankful that I managed to find the road to sobriety again. One day at a time adds up again. There will always be a could have, would have and should have. That Will not serve me! So I choose to see today and the present as a gift :gift: It hasnt been easy but it sure is worth it!

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Yesterday there was a special television broadcast on NPO1 about the Corona virus. I have the flu and recognized myself in most symptoms. I started breathing heavily. when they said heavy breathing is a symptom of corona virus. oh shit ā€¦I started to panic a little :rofl: :rofl:
This morning I woke up and the flu is 95% awayā€¦ feeling better now :smiley: Now I can laugh about it :smiley:

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The guy that was working with my daughter also did some work with the military.
He said that there are a lot of serving people who would be somewhere on the spectrum.
Itā€™s a comfortable environment with structure and routine.
The catch 22 is that if you are diagnosed with any form of autism you canā€™t get in the military! :thinking:

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I would say that if you can fight of any bug then you are able to fend against Corona.
The thing that we have to watch is passing it on to vulnerable people.
Hence the importance of high personal hygiene.
No need to panic If we follow this simple guidance.

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  1. Taking it rather easy today. Crashed my bike yesterday night, fell on my hands and knees mainly, not too bad. Will go to the gym and try a bit of elliptical cross training to see. Would this have happened drunk Iā€™d probably have fallen flat on my face.
    Corona got me a bit anxious because Iā€™m worried it might interfere with my vacation 3.5 weeks from now. Well, itā€™s nothing I got any influence on. Will have to wait and see. I do control myself staying sober and clean. And I am and I will. Have a good day all! Love from Amsterdam.
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The reverse of that, I was told the navy could be the making of me. :thinking:

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Day 59ā€¦checking in friendsšŸ˜Š

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157.56

Just double the angst from yesterday and thatā€™s me today. Iā€™m still in bed, normally would have been at work 45 minutes ago. Iā€™m so tired I canā€™t lift my head.

I have PTSD therapy today. Hopefully I can pull my stupid self out of this stupid funk. I have a brunch date tomorrow and I want to drink so bad. Iā€™ll have to see. The relief of drinking and being ā€œnormalā€ is calling me.

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Checking in on Day 39

Got up early this morning and done a Body Pump Class at 6.30 followed by new class CXWorks which is all core work, omg will ache tomorrow, but feel good in the head after :slight_smile:

@Powerup - yes weekends can be tricky make sure you have some tools ready, it really does help. Keep strong :muscle:
good @Girlinterrupted sorry to see you still feeling rubbish, hoping that the therapy helps. We all know drinking will not make us normal however much we tell ourselves, stay strong lots of people care. @Jane.c is right you need the rest and I am the same only get craving when I am low or had a knock.
@bikethief great days! yes I am starting to like weekends again, so nice knowing what I
have done and not feel awful on a Monday - enjoy
@Mno ouch sounds painful but those days are a triumph
@Fargesia_murielae rocking with 204 days
@BobIsGone sounds like your moving in right direction seem you are feeling more positive today.
@GVLNative sober twin day 39, the big 40 tomorrow, stay strong at the weekend

If I missed any important goals on thread well done all. Have a fab Friday and catch up later :innocent: :pray:

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Checking in on Day 220. Finally Friday. Big weekend of nothing coming up. Very excited about it.
Screenshot_20200125-200349
Have a strong day!!!

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Day 24, good morning friends. Ahhh Friday :crazy_face:. Itā€™s funny for each good day I have the next usually is tired ane exhausting. Yesterday was a sad, depressed day. Today I woke up feeling very hopeful and excited. I have never prayed in my life but Iā€™ve been these last couple days and I do feel some relief after I stand up. Iā€™m just not sure if Iā€™m doing it rite lol. Anyways so happy to see all of you are doing good. And @Girlinterrupted. Iā€™m not good with my words yet,but you are so far right now donā€™t give up,I understand things are tough but keep pushing forward. Just look at where u were before now, Iā€™m sure you have accomplished so much staying sober. Keep it upā€‹:muscle:

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Thank Geoff. I was thinking that when I was going through the first quiz :woman_facepalming:
The second quiz was much shorter, but extreme.

Iā€™ll not dwell any more :+1::sweat_smile::upside_down_face:

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ā€¦ so what are the hot dog sausage ingredients? :rofl:

I did actually think you were being serious :woman_facepalming: ā€¦ I need emojis to give me clues :crazy_face:

Itā€™s all good. I did go down a rabbit hole for a few hours, mainly because I thought ā€˜ahh, this actually makes so much senseā€™ ā€¦ :sweat_smile::joy:

Any other observations Dr. Paul? I have a couple of spare hours today :+1::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::joy:

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Dropping her off at school in that thing will make her day.

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Word, when Iā€™m happy no desire at all. I just feel so much rejection and constantly open myself up to it like a dumbass. Iā€™m slowly feeling better as we speak. I have to remind myself about the light at the end of the tunnel. Iā€™ve never been one to wallow, but I think the amount of stress piling up is a bit fucking much :joy: like, come on already.

@Fargesia_murielae you are so right, that inner voice has gotten me many times. This is the closest Iā€™ve been. Last couple of times I just disappeared from the forum without saying a word. Iā€™m trying hard to fight it.

@Hopeful777 youā€™re so right. I just feel like Iā€™m destined to a life of solitude without it. My husband and I were homebodies and Iā€™ll never meet someone at home :joy: but Iā€™m uncomfortable dating without drinking. Sigh.

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