deep, but I meant from your photo. Well done BTW.
Banging, you just canāt beat it.
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Yes, when I was working on step 4 a lot of anger came up in me. Instead of calling my sponsor, I visited a friend of mine that uses drugs. When I was writing step 4 I had that fuck the system mood.
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Today my husband was off work because he had to work on a National holiday. So no way to drink even if I wanted to (I donāt). I had actually forgotten he was off, and had booked online language classes. I am very grateful to be in a relationship where I can say āplease be out of the room at this timeā and he accepts that. Now drawing endless unicorn pictures with my daughter.
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Day 225! Almost forgot to check in today. Feels good that I remember! Have a great day everyone!
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Day 141.48
My daughter got an apartment, but does not move in until April 4th. Sheās needs help with move in costs. This is for the best.
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Almost day 185. Had a massive shift in my journey. I have always gone above and beyond for my MIL and all the other in laws, most of the time this causes me stress but when I was drinking it numbed it. At Xmas I said no to a family do (party) and this was to protect me and my sobriety. Today there is a funeral of a family friend (she was 90). My MIL would expect me to be there with them to show family solidarity. I said no! 
I get very very anxious at funerals since I had to gate crash my dadsā¦ long story but funerals now make me ill. I am slowly starting to put up boundaries and it feels flipping amazing. Iām not being a bitch or selfish Iām protecting me! I have NEVER done this before and I think that this will be a game changer in my recovery. WE HAVE TO PUT US FIRST GUYS!!! I bet some of you are rolling your eyes and thinking, yeah sare, we already knew thatā¦
lol but I didnātā¦until now. My brother in law has been married 3 times and his first two wives were alcoholics, one committed suicide (god bless her) and the other is in a really bad way. My MIL thinks that this is what is going on with me, Iām sure of it. I came out of the family WhatsApp over Xmas cause the bullshit was driving me mad and now Iāve said no to this funeral. She thinks Iām going the same way as her other daughter in lawsā¦well she can think again! Booze will not be the end of me!!!..Iām never ever drinking again so she better get used to the new meā¦the one she has never seen before! 
ā¦@anon12657779 the other day when I was struggling and you told me I am where I need to be, you were so on point my friend. Thank you all for your words and this wonderful place 
x
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Love this post love your attitude love your sobriety Blondie! You got to help yourself first before you can help others and you are doing just that. Super happy for you!
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I loving seeing your journey Sarah.
Itās quite amazing to actually watch people on here when they āget itā
We all flounder about at first, unsure of ourselves, our addiction, what we should be doing and what we can do.
Over time itās quite rewarding to see.
Keep it up.
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Thanks mnoā¦ every day I am learning small different things. I learn so much from you good folk on here. Iām glad to be on this journey with you x
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Geoff you are awesome. You truly know what to say and when. I find your contribution on here priceless. You help me lots. I know I donāt post much but when Iām struggling you always get me back on ground. Bless you friend and bless this forum! X
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76.27
Sleep was too short, but the coffee was too good. Iām blessed with another day. I just have to make it sober. I am a machine that takes days and turns them into sober days. This is what I do!
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Good morning TS folks. I was just catching up on the thread a bit since itās been a few days and another relapse for me yet again. I really feel defeated by my addiction. Itās like being in a toxic relationship. I know itās bad for me and I know itās going to keep getting worse, definitely not better, but yet Iām still doing the same crazy thing expecting a different outcome. Day 1 and trying to just focus on staying in the moment. Have a wonderful sober Wednesday. I think Iām going to check in in the morning and right before bed. Maybe knowing Iām checking in at the end of the day will help inspire me to make it to bed sober every night.
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I am heading to bed sober now, looking forward to seeing ur sober update in the morning!
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Thanks lovely! Youāre right itās not easy and it shocks the hell out of those around you but itās got to be done. I found when I did it at Christmas it confused everyone and this time round they think Iām being a bitch or just awkward but I just have to try now to not think what theyāre thinking.(without coming across arrogant?)ā¦if that makes sense? Lol. Itās not easy and Iām very unsteady doing it but it feels so liberating. Give it a go, I promise youāll be so much stronger for it. I love watching you on your journey my friend. You have come such a long way and given much thought to your steps. Youāre an inspiration to me and Iām really honoured to be on this hard journey with you.
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Wise words that people should heed.
As soon as we stop trying to control everything and accept who we are and where we are as being exactly where and who we are supposed to be.
Yes we can change, but before we can seriously consider changing, we need to actually work out who we are.
Then we can work with these findings to make ourselves a better person.
Have a safe trip my friend.
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Unfortunately, I think some see confidence as arrogance, based on their own perception in their lives.
There is nothing wrong with being confident.
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thanks Geoff. Itās a slow learning processā¦ with this little boundary revelation I feel a big reinforcement in the path Iām takingā¦ itās slowly, slowly gaining momentum.
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Thanks Paul, I have surprised myself by my sobriety because I truly didnāt believe I could do it. Whatever HP is favoring me, Iām grateful and I pray for the favor to continue. Youāre also doing great from where Iām standing. Life is much better sober, donāt you think?
Blessings and sobriety!
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What a refreshing story of self discovery. Even though there are crap things going on around you, you have the confidence to stand up for yourself (b/c no one else will). Great job!!ā You are on an inspiring journey. Thanks for sharing it with us!!!
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