Hey all, checking in on day 1969. I hope everybody has a good one 
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1806.. No Alcohol
102.. No Lust
I never seen so many useless workers lol.
Anyways, there will be more talks at the end of the week, possibly tomorrow.
Hopefully i keep my calmā¦but i blew up on everyone 3 days ago. I mean went innā¦
As of right now, I just keep working give the rest to God.
One manager did leave 3 days ago, which didnāt really matter.. not like they cared.. at all.. theyāre gone. The other manager is taking a leave, the owner is coming in soon.
Its literally just me keeping it together right now. Another guy who manages another place came in, but he.. 
Laughable.
Just clear, make me lead manager, and let me bring in my team.
But, ive never seen so many people just doing less than minimal. I mean youll see it in a teen. And you stay patient, try and care. Maybe they have a change of heart and willingness to grow. If not, its all good.
But these people all older than I.
Itās a big game of āAndreās got it.ā
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- Three hours in the gym this morning (spin class, free weights, stairmaster then yoga) has got me walking wounded
holy damn my fricken chicken legs are mashed. I just wanted to get a good session in today before we go away tomorrow for an overnighter in the Cotswolds. Iām planning a couple of walks down the Thames path and a sunrise spot for us the next morning. I love these 24 hr resets: no TV, no cooking or cats, no expectations, just peace and quiet and intentional movement. Maybe a long soak in a claw foot bath too 
ā¦ ODAAT. 
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Day 1360
Feeling anxious this morning. My sons usual school nurse called in sick and so i received a last minute call mentioning that a diff nurse will be with him today. If the bus wasnt already almost to us, I probably wouldve kept him home. I prayed about it and am trying to let go of these worries. But it is causing me to feel super disconnected right now.
I am currently at Tim Hortons enjoying an iced coffee before I head to the dollarstore. Then off to do my Body Scan at the gym, followed by a workout. Then home to tidy up. Thats about it for me. Have a great day everyone!
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Checking in. Definitely sick as hell. Back to bed in this lovely day 75ā:star:
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Day 30
My willpower is there. Buried deep inside me. I feel it when I walk. I understand that I am able to remain vigilant about what I want to do, and my actions are in line with my thoughts.
For 18 years, I have been aware that I am an alcoholic, and for 18 years, alcohol has drowned my willpower in oblivion. Iām not going to get rid of that in 30 days. Letās be down-to-earth and look at the positives: I am gradually regaining a dynamic. And I know that for the past 30 days, every day, I may not have done my best, but I am improving.
Iāll focus on that tonight and set my goals for tomorrow.
Have a good evening you all 
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I think you did the right thing, Dana. Itāll foster independence in your son and help him learn to advocate for himself. I know how hard it can be to give up control, especially with the amount of care you provide. Iām glad you made the choice to tend to your care today.
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Hi everyone. Day 66 and feeling mighty fine. No desire for alcohol; donāt want it, donāt need it.
Missing the daylight hours in the garden to get jobs done, but we will find a way, we always do.
Heres Alfie from earlier, just look at the colour of him ! Bath time!
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Checking in on day 79.
ODAAT!
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Day 864. All good. Working hard. Some days a bit overwhelmed but all ok
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Thank u so much for ur reply. That means alot. Youre absolutely right tho. It does help him to learn to advocate for himself and build independence. I never thought of it that way. Appreciate ur insight friend 
I do struggle with trusting others to do a good job with taking care of my son. Im not AS bad as I used to be. But still, its difficult.
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261 ; no desire to drink alcohol. Tired 
. Grateful for this app and all members 
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Morning friends, checking in 
1316 days alcohol free
30 days THC free
10 days binge free
I want to thank everyone who responded to my last message about my boy. Itās been such a hard year with him. I feel completely hopeless but all I can do is try to be there and guide him when he is ready for the help. THC and food cravings are calming down. I took an antihistamine to sleep last night, the doctor said I can use them to try reset my sleeping pattern and they wonāt affect me like other sleep aids and cause depression etc. It felt so good to sleep all night, itās just so incredibly hard to function properly without proper sleep.
My son didnāt come home last night. Which means a missed medication, but Iāll just keep trying. Make sure he has them on him if he doesnāt stay at home. Itās so frustrating but I canāt control anything heās doing right now. He so badly wants to be independent but heās not even close to financial independence or being mentally stable enough to live independently. One day at a time, with everything right now.
Much love friends, have a nice day.
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16 days.
Trying to decide what to sacrifice to make more time for exercise. Also trying to figure out how to gently get back into shape to the extent where I can lift weights again or play rough with my kids without such a high risk of injuring something. This spring I was lifting again for ~2 months until suddenly both elbows developed tendonitis and I couldnāt play guitar or grip a bar for 6 months without causing a new flare up. I wasnāt even pushing myself that hard (reps of 8-12). Yesterday for the first time since, I picked up what should not have been a challenging weight for me by a mile, did a few shoulder-raises, and immediately felt my elbows flaring up again. I have been to physical therapists. None have suggested a more serious injury than just inflammation and tendon wear-and-tear. It is far more time-effective, cost-effective and practical from a parenting standpoint for me to work out at home, so I am currently hoping I can find some low impact stretching and cardio/strength videos to follow along with on YouTube and take it slooooooooooow as far as progression to just get back to a decent baseline of flexibility and strength. Open to suggestions for content creators, books, programs for getting a 37 year old dad-bod back into shape, etc. It sucks to be here because until my 2nd kid was born I used to enjoy lifting my whole life. Now I have the motivation to get back at it, but the injury this spring makes me worried about which approach to take to avoid major setbacks.
Anyway, have a great day everyone!
Brent
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I feel you on getting back into sports! I soaked for a bit due to work and injuries and getting back is such a bummer because of how slow one has to go. One video that really helped me was this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XWBrEtvxdeI
Itās targeted at runners, that are getting back, but the principles apply to any muscle. This provided me with a bit more structure when getting back, I do really keep a little pain/exercise diary now.
Also, checking in with 8 days, keep it up everybody!
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thanks jasmine!! it really has been lame not being able to get on talking sober at nightime like im used to!! its been annoying because i was not planning on taking a break and right now i feel like my routine is messed up but im trying to remember this is a temporary problem and i will have a new phone in a week or 2 hopefuly.. for now i will be going to the library after work a few days a week to read around and check in with the community.
hope all is well with you and also sorry i missed haloween!!
thanks again jasmine!!
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I canāt imagine what you go through on a daily basis. I will always keep you and yours lifted up 
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checking in from the library!! all is well and just living my life like normal but now i cant get on talking sober because my browser which is safari will not work and i cant download chrome because my phone is to old and wont let me download it because its ios 17 or newer and my phone can only go to 15. honestly its been telling my for a couple months that soon my browser was not going to be suported but i just ignored it till like a week or week and a half ago it stopped working! then i tired this old laptop i had but also couldent download chrome because its my dads old work laptop and for some reason it wont let me download.. then i tried at work but couldent remember my passwords because they are saved on my phone. i finaly got a chance to get up to the library and was able to reset my password and log in because this library computer is up to date obviously. for the time being i will be coming to the library a couple times a week to check in with the community and respond to any messsages plus read around.. honestly im not looking forward to having to phone shop and im trying to think what my best option or value is?? i really dont use my phone except for talking sober, youtube, and watching movies so i really dont need the latest greatest model!! the main thing is that it needs to be atleast ios 17 so i can access talking sober and also download most apps.. so i did a little research and i might get a used iphone 11 which is only about 100 bucks.. honestly my budget is tight right now because of getting this lawyer to represent me for early termination and also trying to get more saved for when i leave this sober living house apartment and go somewhere else.. thats if i dont go to my parents which that is still up for debate..
nothing really new to report but i did get the ok from probation to contact my lawyer and start the early term process. i called my lawyer a few days ago and he actually knows the judge. the secrerary said i might not even have to go to court to plead my case and really getting everything paid off, classes done, no police interaction or failed drug tests hopefuly says enough as far as getting off probation early.. at this point its really not up to me and its up to the universe and the judge!! but im grateful because i did it !! 18 months ago this honestly seemed impossibleā¦ over 6000$ in court restitution , fines, 37 drug classes, maintaining full time employment , not missing a single probation apointment but i did it !! and honestly alot of people said i would be back in jail or ever worse prison!!
in retrospect this probation plea deal i took to avoid 3 years in prison was the best thing that could have happened for my life. i really dont think i would be alive if i did not get arrested for those crimes on 2/26/24!! honestly i needed to be in jail because i was dying and i had gave up and dident care..
anyway.. life is good and im just excited to be really living.. im happy to have a regular routine and be working everyday.. working on music again and recording/ playing my instruments.. im skateboarding again, riding my bike alot.. im pretty much living the life i did before i got lost with drugs and alcohol..
thanks for whoever reads this and like i said it might take me a little bit to respond till i get a new phone but i will try my best to get to the library when i can or maybe if i have time use the computer at work!!
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Day 1161
wow, so much has been going on in this thread, im struggling to keep up! I am finding that i dont log on so often to this site these days. I do think this is a good sign in a way as I am starting to forget that i dont drink (i mean, i know i donāt but it doesnt seem to be on my mind so much)
I still hope everyone is doing ok on here.
Had a hiccup the other day: meeting a big number of people for first time for a work related do. Loads of them drinking for hours. I went in confidently and had already got my plan worked out. When challenged, i had decided to tell anyone who asked, simply that i dont drink. All was going fine until someone said they were really disappointed as they were hoping i would be a drinker and would be fun, and clearly i was not!
I went home feeling that I hadnāt connected with anyone and then over analysed every convo i had and comments people had said for the whole evening etc.
Luckily i convinced myself to go to bed and sleep. Next morning i felt so much better and i realised i had blown everything out of proportion and actually it wasnt about me at all. And when i spoke to some of the people from the night before for work proposes , they appeared rather sheepish and weird as they had been drunk and were unclear about the evening!
So really pleased i held it together and the whole one day at a time concept does really does work, and everything does look better in the morning!
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Day 313
Been avoiding checking in today because as Iāve been struggling with being stuck in a self pity party fuelled by bitterness towards things in my life I canāt change at the moment. I havenāt felt like drinking about it or anything but I also had zero interest in doing the things I need to do for both recovery and well to be honest anything in general. I also managed to make an ass of myself by sending an angry text to my partner about something that was petty and small but was a final straw for some things lately I never bothered to speak to him about because I have been trying so hard to just keep the peace here. Well definitely failed at keeping things peaceful today 
. I probably should have just kept my mouth shut . Anyways , I should probably try to catch up on some posts and maybe head over to the gratitude thread because I probably need it. Stay safe and sober everyone.
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