Yesterday I began thinking of what I wished to do for my 60th birthday next year. A challenge, of a physical nature. Something that stretches me immensely , challenges me physically, and inspires me mentally.
I’m not sure exactly what it is yet, and as soon as I can put a finger on it and get finished with my cut stage, I’ll begin a bit more specific training towards it.
Early idea is a very long distance unsupported hike, think in the 100’s of km range or more. But that doesn’t still feel quite it. I think I’ll know what it will be when I hear or see it, but I cannot know what I don’t know, so I need to vigilante in watching for what this could be.
I’m open to thoughts and or suggestions if anyone has any. It needs to be something whereas it takes me to some sort of ?breaking point?, not sure if that’s quite right, but it needs to stretch me to learn more of myself.
Anyway, Sunday morning musings, coffee, awaiting the arrivals of the morning sun. Enjoy your day the absolute best you can TS peeps.
Started the day with a bikeride in the early morning to the gym. Carefully, because there is snow and ice everywhere But I made it. Doing powerlifting for almost 1 year now and it’s fun to see my body changing from skinny with a fat belly to muscle toned with a flat belly
Today? Well I had the gym and within a hour we our going to the cinema for a movie. So an easy sunday it is. I’m in a good flow mentally and physically despide my chronic shoulderpain. I do not let it ruin my days. It’s there but I work around it.
Day 477. Grateful to be sober and cig free. Things at work have seemed a little less intense interpersonally except for one staff person who has really poor boundaries. I know she drinks because she shares that and I think she could be struggling with her own substance abuse issues as I recognize the behaviors, but staying in my own lane there. I dont share that I dont drink with coworkers that often, but she knows I dont. I think it makes drinkers uncomfortable and maybe then they think I’m uptight or think I am better then them or something, which is not the case! People are complicated oy. Odaat.
Hey, since you’re asking: I did a big trail run adventure mostly in Croatia a couple of years ago, and it was amazing. We weren’t in the race but you can see some of our route at YT by searching Dalmacijaultratrail .Also recommend the Te Araroa trail in NZ. Terrain much like the PNW, but with a strategic season-swap possible. Cheers!
Day 26!!! Well it was not a sinus infection… it was RSV:scream: Goes to say, I have zero cravings right now, not even for my sparkling water. feeling ok mostly, it is just presenting as sinus symptoms.
Day 1428
So yesterday was an OK day at work until… my husband called me frustrated about how I organized a cupboard in the kitchen (he couldn’t find something he needed for supper). He called me at work frustrated and then hung up the phone on me (he said it was an accident when I called him on it). Now… normally fruatration from others doesnt even effect me. But for some stupid reason, I was effected by it . My BPD was triggered (which it normally isnt) and I became overly sensitive and held onto these feelings of worthlessness probably until late into the evening. My husband did apologize to me, saying that his neck was very sore which was already making him irritable. But even with the apology, I still felt “small”, dumb, and worthless.
(I should add that he did not say these things to me. Its just how I felt about myself in that moment). I normally have such thick skin and things dont effect me very much, but like I said, my BPD was triggered for some reason and i sort of spiraled.
Anyway, i ended up having to restart my ED timer bcuz I ended up emotionally eating last night. Went to bed feeling upset about that. BUT… I promised myself to get right back on track with my eating today! Its normal for me to continue the ED for days due to feelings of guilt and shame. But I am refusing to let that happen this time. So I packed my healthy foods for work and will eat appropriately for supper.
Sorry for the longish post. I was just surprised that I was sooo affected by my husbands frustration yesterday. I havent had to experience symptoms of BPD for some time as my meds work very well. Will keep an eye on that tho moving forward.
Im just at work now. My client doesnt get back until about noon. I am going to attend an online sermon until then and have a better day today. Its my husbands and I 12th year anniversary today too So I am happy about that! Have a great day everyone!
~ My intention for the day ~
To not engage in my Eating Disorder
Alcohol explained 2 by William Porter was a stand out audiobook for me changing the way I think about alcohol.
This naked mind by Annie Grace really grew on me each time I listened and is up there also.
Being a fan of Stephen King my favourite novel of his is Dr Sleep. In it the protagonist is an alcoholic and his “recovery” is a narrative throughout the book.
@addeline Oh no!! RSV is brutal. My son had it one year and it was gping around his school this past December. I pray u heal quickly from it and that its not SO severe
@Jeanine Great job on day 2! So happy that u got thru yesterday (being ur 1st day). Take it one day at a time!!
@ShyBert Congratulations on 20 days! Im glad ur back
@BriCrowe I am very much a routine oriented person as well. Have gotten back to my routine this year again What sorts of things do u want to incorporate into ur new routine?
Sorry you had such a stressful day Dana. Its easy for anyone to say your husband should do this or shouldnt do that. All I will say is congratulations on 12 years of marriage today and nobody knows your husband like you do.
I will give these a listen. I think I’ve heard of Alcohol Explained 2. I will check that out. When I stopped smoking many years ago, a helpful tool was knowing and visualizing what smoking was doing to my body. I think Alcohol Explained 2 may help in that way. Thanks for the resource link too. I hadn’t visited that on this site.
Pressure valves are releasing in my life, and the majority are things I was resistant towards; things I didn’t want to do. The past year has been about maturing, and I sense I’m at the tail end of it. If there is one thing I find difficult, it’s seeing those pressure valves without, uh, pressure? What I guess I mean is, how do I do an inventory of my the areas I’m resisting? The irony is they are invisible until there is something applying said pressure. Anyway, I know what I’m talkin’ about.
But I made it. Doing powerlifting for almost 1 year now and it’s fun to see my body changing from skinny with a fat belly to muscle toned with a flat belly 
.
feeling ok mostly, it is just presenting as sinus symptoms.
. My BPD was triggered (which it normally isnt) and I became overly sensitive and held onto these feelings of worthlessness probably until late into the evening. My husband did apologize to me, saying that his neck was very sore which was already making him irritable. But even with the apology, I still felt “small”, dumb, and worthless.
So I am happy about that! Have a great day everyone!
