839 sugar
703 UPFs
Rather cloudy today. Preparing for my class later, maths and physics will be involved. Teaching, groceries, some rest. Sounds like a good day.
Peace and love always 
8 Likes
Day 2
Heading to bed, was another good day.
There is a catch up life post in my thread should you feel like reading.
Worked, new job is good being sober should help me maintain my mental health and stability.
Came home put new stereo (2nd hand) stereo through its paces listened to 2 whole cds back back to back while browsing TalkingSober.
I have been hunting this unit for 20 odd years I got it cheap I intend to put it to good use and let the music help heal my soul.
Today Iām grateful for being able to make good decisions, maintaining my mental health and being able to come home to my wife happy.
Time.to bring back the man she met.
12 Likes
A good cup of coffee on a home-office day.
Iām doing well and feeling safe and grounded. Today is day 22, and so far I havenāt experienced any cravings.
Interestingly, people around me ā who actually donāt know anything about this ā keep saying things like āYou look so energeticā, āDid you do something to your face?ā or āDid you lose weight?ā 
It seems the positive effects of alcohol leaving my system are beginning to show.
Feeling grateful.
13 Likes
Hey all, checking in on day 2095. i hope everybody has a good one!
11 Likes
I think we have the same sober date (and I used to play the viola! (But very very badly 
))! Congratulations!!
3 Likes
@Mno your travel pictures and positive attitude are inspiring. Iām going to borrow your line and make this the best day I can. Enjoy the rest of your trip - I hope you get some sunshine 
5 Likes
Good morning friends, day 124. One stress after another. Wonāt drink.
Have a great day.
14 Likes
Awesome! Sober for the win!
1 Like
I relate. The shoulders a little too close to the skull. Scary! Try to stay positive. Hopefully it heals well and your able to get back close to normal.. Maybe focusing on your writing will help you.
My shoulders are shot. I could use a re-build. My right shoulder especially, but Iām still strong lifting low. Above the head I have to be really careful. if your right shoulder is good. I have a worn but useable left shoulder. We can team up. Teamwork makes the dream work.
4 Likes
Still sober. All timers intact.
Butā¦
I have to be accountable. I am concerned about my obsessive behavior with a particular video game lately. Iāve been doing a lot of escaping into games and I have not been active in the gym the last week and a half. Even skipped an al-anon meeting to game. Itās hard to get to bed on time, and itās affecting my work and the other activities that keep me grounded like dog walking, the gym and yoga.
I know that Iāve been through a lot. I donāt even really have much for cravings to act out, drink, or drug. Even been eating mostly mindfully. Although, I canāt shake this feeling that I am just fast-forwarding through life with a screen glued to my face. While I could be using the time to build something, get creative or improve my situation IRL. Idk, I know I can strive for balance but starting to wonder if this form of escapism is another thing I just shouldnāt f#ck with.
11 Likes
Captains log day 433. Happy Tuesday!
I was not expecting a flooded basement when I got up this morning but poop happens.
If I was still drinking I would have used it as an excuse to cancel classes and drink all day because I āneeded to stay home and clean up the messā. Instead I got right to work and got the job done amd made to work only a couple hours later than I wanted.
Itās chooseday Tuesday and I choose to make it a good one!
14 Likes
Day 1486
Today is going to be a self care and self reflection kind of day. Im struggling a bit today and so instead of pushing myself to the max, im going to do things that are good for me. I dont want to use many multiple tasks to avoid feeling and thinking about what is going on for me lately. Im at no risk of using/drinking. Its just Im struggling with food. I wish I could afford a therapist or something of that short bcuz I think it would be really useful. I dont know if Im being too extreme with my eating therefore its almost impossible to adhere to? Or if Im just not trying hard enough? Idk. My mind tells me to just give up. But my heart isnt allowing me to do that.
Anyway, todays plans are to hit the gym (even tho I dont feel like it). Im going to clean the apartment. Have a bath maybe. Do my prayer and mindfullness activity. Go on my LifestyleRX zoom group and try and enjoy my day without rushing.
15 Likes
Day 142.
Today, my focus is getting caught up on homework for one specific class. Iām about a week and a half behind schedule and I have until 2 PM this afternoon to catch up. Class tonight. Tomorrow, I can focus on getting my space tidied and refreshed. I really need a day to just lock in and do the damn thing.
Grateful today for how quiet my day-to-day is. Every morning is a little slice of heaven. My husband and I have started buying nicer coffee and it makes a huge difference. Weāve been drinking whatever is cheapest or currently on sale for years. But for the last few weeks, we decided it was something small we could splurge a little on. We never get coffee out, so the money saved can be reinvested into making this a little more special.
Feeling hopeful about our finances today. We still have quite a ways to go before weāre out of the woods, but weāve been making significant progress every month since November. We really may be able to turn things around before I graduate. Not drinking is helping a LOT, but weāve also just gotten much more intentional about where every single dollar goes. Tracking makes all the difference.
Breathing deeply today. Had a nice big cry last night about feeling broken, but Iām doing better after a good nightās sleep. Iāve slowly broken down my entire daily schedule since November and have been flailing a bit. Doing whatever I want whenever I feel like it. My burnout hit a wall and I let it crumble all the structural things I had been building. Daily routines. Schedules. Rigidity. I just let it all go for a while.
Iām choosing to let it stay messy until Spring Break ends. Iāll spend some time next week thinking about my intentions for the rest of the year, and try to restructure something that makes more sense to my nervous system, that will help me focus in on getting this novel written. Ready to rebuild. But letting it all go for a while was absolutely necessary. 
11 Likes
This one is easy for me to fall into. I got extremely addicted to an online game many years ago. I quit playing it and took my real life back.
Another member here shared about his gaming addiction. I related so much.
At the time, I had bought a faster computer to edit videos. I couldnāt resist checking out some games. I started to play a lot, and I realized with what I read here that I was going to waste a lot of my life gaming again. I uninstalled them all. The ps4 i had also bought with some beer money is collecting dust too.
Gaming and internet addiction is real. Back in the day I liked my gaming life much more than my real life. I tried to go pro. I was good, but not as good as the pros.
I have not gamed in over five years.
4 Likes
Jeeze, can I ever relate to ur post. I am so proud of u for being so self aware. Often times its easy to fall into other addictive behaviours without even realizing it.
Do u notice ur emotions or thoughts when u tend to want to play the game? I find that, for myself anyway, if Im stressed or overwhelmed or experiencing something āuncomfortableā that the āpullā to engage in that potentially addictive thing is much higher. Its no long a recreational activity or hobby that I enjoy. I use it to, wellā¦ escape. If its causing u harm (which it sounds like it is otherwise u wouldnt be talking about it), then maybe it would be worth trying to limit ur time or stop the game for abit all together.
I think its sooo easy for us as addicts to switch addictions or find other ways to escape. I struggle with this tooā¦ my phone usage, particularly mindless scrolling when stressed, and with food.
Wishing u all the best my friend. Im glad ur here 
5 Likes
i have a week to just focus on the move.
I picked up supplies to build some shelves for my art studio. I have been putting them together this morning. It feels really good.
Back in my health hazard place, I never built shelves because it needed so much other work all the time. Art has always been a driving force for my recovery and it feels good to be stepping up my game! The dopamine is real!
15 Likes
Day 1606 AF
Good morning.
Couldnāt sleep for shit last night. I was up til almost 5 AM. I had some bad sx urges and ended up acting out. Canāt find a way to overcome this disease.
Itās back to the grind today. Donāt feel like working, honestly. But it is what it is.
I hope everyoneās doing well. ODAAT 
9 Likes
Day #48
Flying out of state for a work trip. Up before the birds feels unatural. Atleast the airport is pretty quiet well before 5am
11 Likes
A-437 C-381 THC-163 N-99
Looking forward to getting a few more tattoos scheduled over the next couple of months before Summer rolls around! Iām thankful for meeting some really talented tattoo artists who I enjoy having good conversations with, which helps distract from the pain of the moment and makes time fly!
I made a commitment to myself about a decade ago that I wouldnāt get tattoos done while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I want to remember the experience and not skirt past the necessary pain required when getting a piece of art that will be on my body for the rest of my life!
Iām grateful for making the choice to stay sober, for the willingness to experience struggle while growing, and for good, chill music 
@ICanAndWill, @JasonFisher & @Lucalds I really appreciate the support you all have shown me and the thoughtful words of encouragement! 
@Jules000 Youāre not alone, Julia! Iām familiar with that feeling of what seems like never ending, cyclical struggle. I struggled with intense, daily depression that lead to really dark thoughts of sh and suicide for years. For me, breaking the cycle required talking to a few medical professionals about medication, a massive amount of therapy, and finding a support network of people who could empathize with me and understand the things I was experiencing. Please remember the world is a better place with you in it, and that there are so many people in your corner wanting only the best for you. Donāt give up on yourself
@Juli1 Glad you made the choice to reach out for support and that you chose to stay sober!
@Violagirl Congrats on your record breaking 4 months!! Looking forward to seeing you share more milestones!
@Mtrav0040 Iām glad youāre being open and honest about something you are struggling with! Accountability is key! We have discussed the dangers of social media addiction, and online gaming can be very similar in my experience. If your responsibilities IRL start getting pushed aside, maybe it is time to consider adjusting how much time you spend online!
Iāve experienced times of far, far too much time spent playing video games and at one point had to address it in therapy as something that was negatively effecting my life! Glad youāre addressing this, and that you are willing to share!
13 Likes
Thanks @JasonFisher and @Butterflymoonwoman. Trying to answer your questions, Dana:
I think I am avoiding the small unglamorous tasks in front of me like painting my walls or cleaning my garage. Iām avoiding the creative outlets because I donāt really know what to pour that energy into and Iām afraid of judgement over the stuff Iād create. I also use the excuse of not having my garage shop set up with the tools I need.
I think that it also helps me to avoid social outlets and/or engaging in ways to improve my finances. I donāt have to contemplate what Iām being motivated to do when Iām plugged into imaginary goals instead.
I think it boils down to like overwhelm paralysis and fear of failure in some degree too. Like I donāt know where to start so why start at all.
Even writing this out makes me feel a bit like itās impossible to envision a life where I deserve real contentmentā¦so taking a step to towards it feels illogical almost.
Intuitively I know that itās a journey and that I shouldnāt get down on myself for no being at the destination but itās hard to not feel shame at times.
11 Likes